What is she thinking? Testing the waters or just wants to be friends

[Dave016]

So my ex girlfriend split up with me about two and a half months ago). She texted me like normal for about 6 weeks after the breakup, but a week before valentines day she started to reply with one or two worded responses and become really narky or really sarcastic with her replies, either by text or when i saw her at the gym,so i decided to go into 21 NC.

 

She texted me when on a Saturday night whilst she was in Ireland on holiday at the end of the 21 NC (bit of a coincidence maybe). I started to rebuild rapport back. So 6 days of texting it all went really well and she asked me at the gym if i fancy watching a movie (yeah we go to the same gym), i said maybe and i'll see if i was free. Later i said i was and when she wanted to go, she suggested Easter Friday, so i said sure. On the night before the movie we were texting and i asked if she fancied dinner because the movie was at 8.30, she replied yeah but "just as friends yeah". So the next morning we were texting throughout the day and about an hour before going to hers, she said "[ex name] hungry", she normally refers to herself in the third person when we were dating. So at the meal out i asked if she fancied a starter, so we shared a plate of cheese doughballs and talked about about her adventures in Ireland and she showed me her photos on her camera which she forgot to take out of her handbag. She spoke really soft and intimate like we were still dating. During the meal she said this hasn't gone out for ages, i don't know if she was hinting that she hasn't dated since breaking up. We went to a bar after because we had loads of time before the movie started, so we talked about holidays and her friends. Then she said she was offered a good paying job nearby and asked what she would do. She also said her house lease was nearly up and that she would have to move out with one of her house mate as the other girl was moving away, this had meant that she was staying another year or so. It was kind of strange why she had bought this up as one of the reason she broke up with me was that she wanted to move away to another country, have a look below the brealup story.

 

[A little insight about why she broke up with me - The reasons she wanted to break up with me was that i was too much of distraction from her master's work and exam and that she wasn't sure if we were working well as a couple (might be the 8 years age difference) and we might be on different pages. Originally during we went out, she was planning to move to the Canada for a year or two at the end of the year to get some work experience in her field, then start a business in Switzerland. So this was bought up during the break up talk with me because she didn't want to waste my time.]

 

So during the movie her friends was ringing and texting her because apparently she was supposed to be at the party but she had forgotten about, so we ran to the taxi office to get a taxi after the movie. We both had fun trying to out run each other. So we shared a taxi and i dropped her off at the party and went home. She had problems trying to find the house when i was in the taxi, so i gave her a message to text me when she was there and wished her to have fun and a good night.

 

So the million dollar question is, is she testing the waters or does she really want to be just friends? I just don't know what she is thinking! The next day she posted a picture on instagram saying "I've been single for a while and i have to say it's going very well. Like...... it's working out. I think i'm the one."

[Mr Man]

Seems like she is testing the waters. I don't really think Exes who are dumpers ever want to be friends, it's just something they say to let you down gently. They either want to leave entirely and have nothing to do with you, or they put themselves in some sort of confusing limbo where they don't even know what they want. The latter is also the situation I'm in now, similar to you, my ex keeps trying to hang out with me and acts more intimate than a friend should, but then still claims she wants to be single. I think you just have to keep your hopes and expectations low, but go with it and see what happens.

[overseas2004]

Definitely she is thinking about it again. Be smart though. Don't dive in.

Take it very slow and let her make all the moves. I know that might be tough but if you want her back.... make her work for it.

[sandylee1]

While you still have those feelings for her.. NC is better for you.