Prom

[luvmyboys]

I feel so bad for my son. His senior prom is a week from tomorrow and he's asked about 6 girls and each has turned him down..verbally or not even letting him know, just the "I'll have to think about it" or "I'll get back to you" stuff.

 

I can't understand it. He's very handsome; blond and blue eyed; a workout finatic and is in top shape; wears all the latest clothes; and was raised with morals. He doesn't drink or smoke or do drugs and is graduating with honors.

 

Somehow, I think he just cannot relate to kids his own age because he tends to have a better rapor with his teachers and adults. I've heard nothing but what a great kid he is and how I should be proud to have raised such a wonderful boy.

 

He's a bit shy; that's probably his only fault and all I can think is that these girls don't really know him well enough to feel comfortable in going to the prom with him.

 

Or, they could sense that he's not into the all night partying that goes on after the prom. From what I've heard, the thing to do is to go to a hotel and party right?

 

I guess I just wish I could take his hurt away. I told him that the prom is only just a 4-hour event that everyone will forget about in a few weeks. Thing is, graduation is two days afterwards and I'm sure he'll be asked why he didn't go to the prom and he'll be on the spot.

 

Anyone else have similar experiences with your own prom or as a parent?

[Humbledog]

In a rare moment I am going to hold myself back From what I would like to suggest!! Visuallize, Tom Cruise movie, and parents are gone for the weekend!!

But..... Maybe as you have said yourself, he is not in the partying crowd and prom is "ONE BIG PARTY". I would think that if he has not been in the pier group that frequents the slightly wilder side of life, than he has developed friends with compatible interests and values!!! Maybe he is just fishing in the wrong pond!!!

He has a couple of female friends that he is totally comfortable with, I'm sure of it!! He just probably does not see them as a potential date as this is the prom and alot of pressure is on!!! Suggest to your son that if he really want's to have a good

time, relax and invite the female you are most comfortable with, forget about her popularity or whatever!! If he & she has a great time, they will outshine the uncomfortable ones that have no idea why they are with that person next to them in the first place!!!

[BigB]

Does he have some female friends that run in his circle that he could invite to go with him as friends?

 

They'll still have a good time together even if it isn't a romantic sort of date.

 

I never went to a school dance, and I've always regretted it a little.

 

Is going solo an option? or with a group of people?

[luvmyboys]

He's a bit of a loner so he really doesn't have that many girls he's acquainted with. The neighbor girl, also a senior, said he could ride with her and her TWO dates in her limo. But again, he really doesn't know her that well and I know he'd feel very uncomfortable because even the other two guys don't even go to his school.

 

I've told him he could go alone, but he said he'd rather stay home than walk in alone and have nobody to hang out with once he gets there. Which would happen, because it's mostly couples or groups of girls...heck, even the one girl he asked yesterday said she's going with her girlfriends; mainly because she doesn't know him well so I'm sure he's the last guy she'd want hanging around her and her friends. He's even approached girls with the, "Let's just go as friends" talk, but always gets the "I'll let you know" routine and of course, they never do.

 

The few buddies he does have are going with dates; or aren't going at all because they just aren't into that stuff.

 

I give him a lot of credit for being aggressive and asking so many girls, but I think the rejection is starting to take it's toal. Now he's desperate and I'm sure anyone he would try to ask will feel like an afterthought.

 

I've told him that when college starts in the fall, he should try to be a bit more approachable and start conversations with everyone so that people can get to know him. If anything this has been a learning lesson for him and helped him to talk to girls.

 

Thanks for listening to me vent. No matter how old your kids get, it still hurts when your kids hurt.

[BigB]

Originally posted by luvmyboys

The few buddies he does have are going with dates; or aren't going at all because they just aren't into that stuff.

 

Maybe he could ask those buddies if any of there dates have a still date-less friend or sister? He could then tag along with the buddies and their dates, plus his date would know the other girls and it would be more comfortable.

 

Back in the day, I remember some of the loner kids would volunteer for the prom committee's, photo booths, drink server jobs, etc. as a way to attend the prom but not feel as weird being their alone, but it might be a little late for something like that.

 

I definitely give him props for asking so many girls, I couldn't do it myself.

[westernxer]

I wish I never went to prom. Such a waste... going through the motions, spending all this money to wear a tux and take pictures I never intended to keep. Would've been better to hang out at the parties afterward.

 

Don't make him go alone!!! And don't make him go as the third or fifth wheel.

 

Tell him it's no big deal... it's mostly for the ladies to show off their wares.

 

By the way, Einstein never went to prom, either.

[sarah12]

Originally posted by westernxer

I wish I never went to prom. Such a waste... going through the motions, spending all this money to wear a tux and take pictures I never intended to keep. Would've been better to hang out at the parties afterward.

This is exactly what I was going to say. I'm a girl and *I* didn't understand what the big deal about prom was. I didn't want to go with a date but my entire class went with one and so all my friends pressured me to ask a guy to prom, so I did. I wore a dress that I had worn to a wedding the summer before and borrowed shoes and a purse. I paid way too much for a limo and prom food that didn't fill me up -- we just ended up going to an all night diner afterwards because we were so hungry. It was just dumb, way too much money and time wasted on people I never intended to be friends with once high school was done with anyways.

 

Tell him it's no big deal... it's mostly for the ladies to show off their wares.

Agreed. And it sounds like a lot of the girls are going in groups anyhow without dates. Personally I think it's a lot better that way, so there's no pressure about getting a date or who's gonna sit at who's table and what not. A bit too much drama if you ask me. Just tell him to kick back with a movie or see if anyone else isn't going to prom (there has got to be some people!!) and just chill with them for the night. My cousin just had prom too and he didn't go to it cause he thought it was a waste of time and money. It's no big deal to him. He just hung out at home until the after parties began.

 

Besides, I don't know many people who talk about prom as the most memorable experience of their high school careers.

[luvmyboys]

Just an update. My son spoke with the teacher today that is in charge of the prom and she said that there's no reason he shouldn't attend just because he doesn't have a date as there were all kinds of guys and girls going stag.

 

He has decided to go and we ordered him a tux and even the woman who waited on us said she's had more kids coming in that were going on their own than as couples.

 

So hopefully, he'll be able to hook up with some buddies there. His disposition has changed dramatically since he decided to go. He's quite sure he'll be able to mingle with others with no problem now. Plus, I told him if after a couple hours he feels like leaving, he can certainly come on home.

 

Thanks for your replies; much appreciated.

[Privateeye]

I'm from England, and it's a little different here, there is a Prom, but it's just a dinner, with a live band and a DJ, there is dancing, but there's also a bar. To be honest, it's just a chance to get drunk with your mates before you go to uni, and before the summer parties begin proper.

 

I'm single and i'm going to mine, most people who are single are going, in fact almost the whole year are going. It's going to be a good laugh to go there as a singleton, since it's mostly about going with mates.

 

It's a lot less formal than American ones are, it's still black tie, but it isn't a formal dance, there is no knig or queen, the whole idea of which seems stupid to me, what a good way to promote low self esteem. There are awards, but these are mostly just fun, for example, one of the three leaders for "fittest female" is the sixth form admin woman.

 

Anyway, it sounds like your son is just shy, but it doesn't really matter, i'm single, and i'm going to mine. as are many of my friends.

[Humbledog]

Gotta love the Aussie casual style!!!! Women are going in groups, What's wrong with with a guys group? DO what he has to do.... But go, if that is truly what he want's!!!! !~!!!

[agnf666]

I went to prom my Sophomore Year...... Oh what a drag that was. The only reason I went was because I was going to prom a year earlier then most of people that where Sophomores. I went with this dork. I ended up with my friends date.

 

My Junior Prom was interesting... I took the guy that I ended up with at the last prom. We had a blast.

 

My Senior Prom... I didn't go because I didn't have a date. Also, I didn't want to put that much money out. All my friends had dates and I didn't want to be the third wheel. So, I do regret not going!! I could have had a date if I really tried.

 

I'm glad your not making your son go! I'm glad that he actually is going to his prom. He will have fun. The only thing is that it is expensive and can be boring. Hey... you never know what girls went with out dates that he can hookup with. I think it will all work out.

[luvmyboys]

I'm sure he'll have a great time. He feels so much better just knowing that there a lot more stags out there than couples.

 

As far as expense, the tux we rented was pretty reasonable; ticket was $30; and he's driving himself so there is no limo that needs to be considered. He won't be going to any after parties; that I'm sure of. He doesn't drink nor does he wish to. Plus, I told him to have my truck home at a reasonable hour!

 

Don't think they do the King and Queen of prom anymore here at our school; it's just going to be one big party.

[nightwish33147]

Originally posted by westernxer

I wish I never went to prom. Such a waste... going through the motions, spending all this money to wear a tux and take pictures I never intended to keep. Would've been better to hang out at the parties afterward.

 

Don't make him go alone!!! And don't make him go as the third or fifth wheel.

 

Tell him it's no big deal... it's mostly for the ladies to show off their wares.

 

By the way, Einstein never went to prom, either.

 

Westernxer sounds like a metalhead ...\m/-

 

D-GAF 4 LIF3

[nightwish33147]

it sounds to me that his not in the "crowd"

i think he should not go becuz he sounds very smart=nerdy which is not bad but don't force him to go let him decide

u can risk him being hurt not dancing with anyone at the prom let him and a couple of friends over 4 the nigh that ur house and have fun it will be better

 

and d@mn ur tickets r cheap in my school it's $65

[luvmyboys]

Like I said earlier, he will be going. It's a done deal and is actually looking forward to it. BTW, he is not a nerd and it's too bad labels are put on people just because they are on the quiet side.

[luvmyboys]

I am not forcing him to go to the prom, it is his choice. He's 18 and an adult and it was up to him to decide to go.

 

Advice has been interesting and gave pause for thought; but at this point, it really doesn't need to be discussed any further.

[Kagome1982]

I went to my prom alone. A good amount of ppl did. It was kinda sad for me tho. My prom was on a Habor cruise boat that cruised around the Inner Habor till 1am. It was a very Romantic kinda prom. To romantic to be alone lol.

 

But oh well I has happy to go and so will ur son. And I even took Prom pics with my best friend. She had a date but we took pics together too. It was nice.

[momloves]

I hope he has/had a wonderful time.

[Humbledog]

Originally posted by luvmyboys

I am not forcing him to go to the prom, it is his choice. He's 18 and an adult and it was up to him to decide to go.

 

Advice has been interesting and gave pause for thought; but at this point, it really doesn't need to be discussed any further.

 

Sorry, just wanted to say you are a tremendous mother & person in general...Your dedication, caring & compassion for your children I'm sure flows thru

into all your relationships ... Your friend's are lucky to have you!!! Sorta touched me... I'm not such a bad dog

[luvmyboys]

Aww, that's so sweet Humbledog! :)Thank you so much for such kind words!