oldshirt Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 Have to disagree however about my AP: he has not made it clear that he no longer wishes to pursue a R with me or continue anything further. I have taken the hint but that is all it is: a pathetic hint. No clarity about it! One if the differences between boys and girls is boys do not formally break up with girls - they just stop calling and stop coming around. They also start seeing other people and don't always mention it. Formal, expressed break up messages are female tactics. men don't really do that, they just start coming around less and less and do a slow fade away. Women express themselves verbally and through expressed words whether written or spoken. Men express themselves through their actions and behaviors. If a man wants to be with you, he is there with you. If he doesn't, he isn't. It really is that simple. Men "do" what they want and don't "do" what they don't. If you want to understand a man, simply watch him and watch what he does. That will tell you everything you need to know about him. Anything he says will just confuse the issue. Any time someone's words and their actions are not congruent, always disregard the words and believe their actions. This is true for both men and women. My bottom line here is I think it is clear that he does not wish to pursue a legitimate relationship with you because he isn't. His actions do not reflect the actions of men who want to be with a woman. People's actions are always their reality despite their words. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cabotine67 Posted March 30, 2016 Author Share Posted March 30, 2016 One if the differences between boys and girls is boys do not formally break up with girls - they just stop calling and stop coming around. They also start seeing other people and don't always mention it. Formal, expressed break up messages are female tactics. men don't really do that, they just start coming around less and less and do a slow fade away. Women express themselves verbally and through expressed words whether written or spoken. Men express themselves through their actions and behaviors. If a man wants to be with you, he is there with you. If he doesn't, he isn't. It really is that simple. Men "do" what they want and don't "do" what they don't. If you want to understand a man, simply watch him and watch what he does. That will tell you everything you need to know about him. Anything he says will just confuse the issue. Any time someone's words and their actions are not congruent, always disregard the words and believe their actions. This is true for both men and women. My bottom line here is I think it is clear that he does not wish to pursue a legitimate relationship with you because he isn't. His actions do not reflect the actions of men who want to be with a woman. People's actions are always their reality despite their words. Couldn't agree more with you about actions speaking louder than words. Absolutely. That is why I have taken the hint!! I think you do men a disservice; unless I have been lucky with the men in my life. Most men are completely capable of ending a relationship with clarity. This is the first one I have been involved with who has just chosen to 'do a slow fade away.' 2 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 Couldn't agree more with you about actions speaking louder than words. Absolutely. That is why I have taken the hint!! I think you do men a disservice; unless I have been lucky with the men in my life. Most men are completely capable of ending a relationship with clarity. This is the first one I have been involved with who has just chosen to 'do a slow fade away.' Then you have been lucky. About the only time I've ever seen men formally break up is when their wife/SO is a recalcitrant cheater or when their new girlfriend or wife makes them. The other exception is when someone really puts their feet to the fire and demands an "in-or-out" answer. If you are wanting to go that route, you may or may not get a straight answer (and if things have gotten to that point, "out" is typically the final answer) I'm talking in generalities of course but for most men the fade out is their break up. Link to post Share on other sites
WasOtherWoman Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 If a man wants to be with you, he is there with you. If he doesn't, he isn't. It really is that simple. Men "do" what they want and don't "do" what they don't. LOL, as my husband is very fond of saying to me "Babe, men are simple creatures. Food, sex and sleep... that's all we need. Anything more than that, and you are overthinking us" I believe it.... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Fair point. You may well be right. Just as well I left my marriage because it was over for me and no other reason. Totally agree on this point- you made a good decision about your marriage- I hope you make a good decision about this relationship as well-you two are in very different places in life, take advantage of yours and free yourself of this burden on your mind and soul- Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts