Almost 6 months on and I'm still hoping he'll come back :-(

[Densel]

Same. Almost a year post break up. I get upset on and off. But no choice, there is no solution. We still have to get by day by day. I know the feeling of emptiness. I am growing with the pain.

 

My motto. Take one day at a time. Dont push yourself to forget him. Just do the necessary like not contacting him, no Facebook, no finding out his life details.

[ShannonM10]

Your story is so similar to mine Sportygirl it is not even funny. I still struggle on a daily basis not to contact him, I still think about the hurt and how he walked away after 5 years and treated me so poorly..and get stuck in ruminating thoughts. I live in the house we purchased...quit my second job, have gone back to school, have awesome roommates, play soccer, am seeing a counselor, started dating and just bought a new vehicle. All things to be proud of and to help me move forward.

 

 

But I still am so hurt. All I want is closure from him...and his new relationship to fail as I truly believe he bailed when the commitment came and jumped at the first girl showing interest. If you read my story its on here. All I can say in order to help you is keep busy. He was a huge part of your life and he bailed....I would like to say it gets easier..and it does, but I still think of him daily and miss him. I don't even know if its missing him anymore or just missing the companionship and my ego is destroyed by what he did.

 

 

You have NO idea what there relationship is like, just like I have NO idea what his is like. All I know is that the chick seemed desperate and pushy at the beginning, crossing some lines that I would NEVER cross 3 months into dating, let alone 5 years in. They could be happy or they couldn't be, all I know is my ex is incapable of being alone, so even if he isn't, he will still stay. I hope it fails, so that he realizes what he has done, but I think by the time that happens, I will long be over this. I know he feels regret and guilt, but he chose to do all this...to hurt me and my family..to look like a cheater and liar, he knows everyone thought he was a piece of sh*t for what he did, but theres no coming back from what he did.

 

 

Just like for you, I think about taking him back if he came back. But if you are REALLY REALLY honest with yourself...you will realize that the hurt is so much, the damage is so much, that you would NEVER EVER trust him again. We should both be glad that this happened now..and you need to start looking at it that way. Imagine people getting divorced with kids going through this...we will get through this. I hope I can come back on here one day and say " thank god I dodged a bullet" or something along the lines of "he tried to come back and I shut him down" but only time will tell.

 

 

You are not alone..trust me...some people are just wired differently. I honestly don't know how they can live with themselves when they threw us away like we ment nothing.

[Bialy]

I've read your entire thread, sporty, and it's absolutely heart wrenching!

 

Are you still on anti-depressants? Have you tried to date?

 

Don't hold a torch for a man who has not looked to reconcile with you at all! You deserve happiness too.Don't live in the past. Try to date and mingle. Maybe open an online dating profile.

 

One step at a time.

[sportygirl]

Thanks for your comments Bialy, ShannonM10 and Densel. Its officially a year today. I tried to make plans with almost everyone in my phone book but it seems to be the gods are conspiring against me as everyone is busy this weekend! grrr.

 

So.... I've been teary, and madly I still feel like a day like today where I have limited plans is a day wasted as its a day I should be spending with him :-( Clearly I'm far from over this at all. I just cannot believe its a year and I'm struggling with not hiding under my duvet for the day if I'm honest :-(

 

I am sad Bialy to admit I am still trying with the anti-depressants, and going to the gym, and looking at the online dating sites though not really following through as it was be unkind to whoever I met on there to be holding such a torch for the ex whilst they're probably going into dating more open minded. I just don't know what to do to help myself anymore, and I have a giant ticking clock over my head reminding me all this time I"m losing with him and not building a new life that I'm getting older, and less and less likely to find that happiness again :-(

 

Sorry for the doom and gloom today. Just missing him and our life greatly today xx