My fiances Friend is tryin to get him for herself

[insanelyjelous]

Hey everyone,

 

 

I think I need some serious help and I really need to vent!!!!

 

My Fiance is a big flirt he does it all the time and sometimes it really hurts. He has this friend ( I hate her she just wont leave him alone!!) she texts him calling him baby and sometimes making suggestive remarks, and yesterday it was her birthday and she had text him to make sure he was comin to the club because she "needed him there" and then she text him to say she wanted a birthday dance a slow one.

 

So I ended up dragging myself to the club just to make sure that she didnt get that dance.

 

Now is it just me or does it seem like this girl wants to be more than just friends.

 

What I need is for someone to tell me what to do about her, I've already tried talking to my fiance but he says shes just a friend and that I'm imagining things, I've made it clear to her that he is well and truly spoken for and she knows that I don't like her but she just won't back off!!

 

I know that she wants him and I know he loves me but I'm worried that one day her persistance will pay off !

 

What do I do??

[LucreziaBorgia]

There's a possibility that she doesn't want him for herself: she may just want to be a bitch to you and knows that this is the best way to get to you. Your boyfriend makes it easy for her to do by being her 'friend'. Would your boyfriend txt sexy messages to his guy friends? Would you txt sexy messages to your best girl friend? Of course not. This girl and your fiance are not friends. They may call it that - but friends enrich your life and support you: they don't stand in the way of it, or interfere with your happiness and your relationships. This girl is determined to be such a 'friend' that she causes trouble for your boyfriend's relationship. That isn't being a friend. If a friend starts being a destructive, rather than constructive influence, its time to make a choice - either kick the friend to the curb, or remove yourself if you see that the 'friend' is staying put.

 

Is there something going on? Maybe, maybe not - but one thing is certain: your fiance is making a conscious choice to let this girl be a bitch to you, when he could easily prevent her from doing it - in fact, he is excusing her behavior and making you look like the 'bad guy'. You'll have to decide if you really want to marry a guy who makes it clear that your needs and concerns aren't as important as his 'friend's'.

[reservoirdog1]

It's true, he could back her off if he really wanted to. But he hasn't, despite you telling him about your concerns. Which suggests that he doesn't want to.

 

You also say he's a big flirt, and that this really hurts you sometimes. Are you hoping that will stop once you're married?

 

Maybe it will, maybe it won't. So, you should be asking yourself how much you want to be with somebody who consistently does things to you that "really hurt", even when he knows how they make you feel.

 

Just don't be fooled the way I was. My XW was a big flirt. In my naivete, I put it down to her ability to "work a room", nothing more. I've never misjudged anybody that spectacularly in my entire life.

[inhighwater]

Names are changed for privacy.

 

My now husband, Harry, was kind of a flirt when we were dating until he realized that I was the one that he wanted to marry. He said it was so strange cause before he would look at a girl and think she was so hot but after he realized that he wanted to marry me all he could think about when he saw another female was me. He would say silly things to his friend Sarah and Sarah and I use to talk on a regular basis and Sarah told me that she knew that Harry was just joking. But evidently after so long Sarah started taking things to heart. Then when Harry told her that him and I were getting married. Sarah just went off on him and as far as I know they have not talked since. Harry is mad at himself cause he feels he may have gave her the wrong impression and hurt her. Harry was a flirt to the girls to make them feel good about themselves, to make them laugh, (and like with some guys it was a boost for his self esteem). I tried to warn Harry about the flirting with females that he was not interested in because of the affects that he may get from some females. And Harry was like they know I'm just joking with them and that I'm dating you. He backed off a little but by that time it was too late, Sarah was hooked on him. (I had a friend that flirted with me and the flirting went on for about a year or year and a half and I fell for him. Just to find out that I was just always going to be his friend.) I felt bad for Sarah and for Harry but all I could think to say to Harry was, "I'm sorry! I told you so!" A while before Harry told Sarah that him and I were getting married, I sent Sarah an e-mail to see how she was doing and needless to say I never got an e-mail back but she sure knew how to get ahold of my bf (at the time) and talk to him. I don't know if she was doing these things to try and make me jealous on purpose or not. Yes, I did get a little jealous but Harry chose to stay with me and I didn't force him to stay with me and I never asked him to end his female friendship(s), ethier. I've tried to get Harry to call, IM, or e-mail Sarah to see if he can get their friendship started back up but he doesn't put any effert into it. He's like she probably won't talk to me (basically like saying, "What is the point?"). I feel bad that their friendship is broken up. Sarah was a very nice person to talk to. But Sarah never went to these extremes as this girl is doing with you. Sarah did have at least some respect for me.