OLD/Dating - Back on the Scene / "Mean Ladies" Profile.

[scooby-philly]

Hey folks,

 

Three part post. When you respond, please let me know which point you're commenting on. Thanks

 

1.

 

Since I've gone back to using OLD for the past 3-4 months - seems like I've been striking out a bit more than I did in the past. Not that I didn't have to weed through a lot of crap or work my way through dates where it was obvious we didn't have chemistry. However, it seems like I've been in more of a dry spell this go around.

 

First, I'm actually okay with the time to myself. I'd say I'm keeping this balanced and in perspective. I actively use sites, send messages if I think there might be interest, and I've also said no thanks when I thought we wouldn't work out. but, the initial contacts have seemed to shrunk and I have not hit it off with anyone in person. Just wondering if any guys (or girls) have experienced this before? I know dating after 30 can be tough, particularly if you're not carrying a lot of baggage yourself and would like to avoid the "crazies", but it seems like the field is drier now. Again, I'm getting even more okay with myself and with just enjoying life - but I would like to find someone at some point. I guess, though, this is more of a verbal outpouring of my thoughts. I found people before I know someone will come along - guess I'm just hopeful the waiting period won't be for years on end.

 

2.

I've found that a lot of couples I've seen interacting lately - married, dating (even long-term), and even women I've seen in work, on dates, etc - seem to be, for a lack of a better term - "mean". Is this a new phenomenon or did I not notice it before? I can get an attitude if someone rubs me the wrong way, but it seems like there's a lot of women out there with chips on their shoulders, and I've learned the hard way that I do not want to be with someone who doesn't respect me and cherish me. I'll treat you like a princess if you treat me like a prince. Asking the guys - do you see a lot of this? And where are the nice women hiding?

 

3. Here's my OLD profile. Any red flags. I don't need it nitpicked - but anything that stands out that would through a red flag to make you (a woman) not contact me or respond if I contacted you?

 

Hi - I'm xxxx. Thanks for stopping by. I don’t mind women taking the initiative – if you think we’d click, you must submit. (An email or wink that is)

 

My friends would describe me as someone that is hard-working, warm, affectionate, and sarcastic. I’m family oriented and a good guy to know for “what should I do” type of situations. I find most people can talk to me, and usually come to me for advice. I listen well. I do push back with a smile. I'm also a verbal processor - I talk things/ideas out.

 

I’m silly, and goofy, and can still be a bit of klutz. (childhood was awkward). But I’m also a former debate coach, a leader in my industry, and I work with colleagues from around the world and with big titles, so I know when to be appropriate.

 

I grew up in xxx. I went to college here, moved around a bit for work & grad school, but found myself back. Former HS teacher turned corporate training professional. Yes, I have been assimilated.

 

I'd describe myself as a guy who tries to keep things balanced. I like learning and trying new things, but I definitely enjoy quiet time. I'm a site-specific extrovert. I'm the time of guy that can go out and enjoy a night out, but I also need time to relax and refresh. I keep a small circle of friends so I’m more the type to keep up with them than to be out constantly with different people.

I have a wide array of interests, including my career/industry, reading, cooking, traveling, just to name a few. I started my career as a high school teacher and now work in corporate training. I think education suits my personality - part engineer, part creative. I like figuring out how things work and I like building things so there's a scientist somewhere in my head. But I can be spontaneous and fun when it's time unwind. So I've got both a left and a right side brain - I'm just waiting to see which side wins out!

 

When I'm out - nothing like good music - rock, blues, jazz - with a good drink, good food and hopefully a good view. I love the warmer months, but I'm always up for a long walk around the city after dinner, even when it's cold. See my profile for more hobbies/interests.

 

What am I looking for? It's overused, but yes - my best friend. Non negotiables: affection, passion, laughter, communication, genuineness, and balance. Someone that can do the little things that make a relationship work and support each other. Short of that, I’m pretty simple.

[Mccoy321]

Hey folks,

 

Three part post. When you respond, please let me know which point you're commenting on. Thanks

 

1.

 

Since I've gone back to using OLD for the past 3-4 months - seems like I've been striking out a bit more than I did in the past. Not that I didn't have to weed through a lot of crap or work my way through dates where it was obvious we didn't have chemistry. However, it seems like I've been in more of a dry spell this go around.

 

First, I'm actually okay with the time to myself. I'd say I'm keeping this balanced and in perspective. I actively use sites, send messages if I think there might be interest, and I've also said no thanks when I thought we wouldn't work out. but, the initial contacts have seemed to shrunk and I have not hit it off with anyone in person. Just wondering if any guys (or girls) have experienced this before? I know dating after 30 can be tough, particularly if you're not carrying a lot of baggage yourself and would like to avoid the "crazies", but it seems like the field is drier now. Again, I'm getting even more okay with myself and with just enjoying life - but I would like to find someone at some point. I guess, though, this is more of a verbal outpouring of my thoughts. I found people before I know someone will come along - guess I'm just hopeful the waiting period won't be for years on end.

 

2.

I've found that a lot of couples I've seen interacting lately - married, dating (even long-term), and even women I've seen in work, on dates, etc - seem to be, for a lack of a better term - "mean". Is this a new phenomenon or did I not notice it before? I can get an attitude if someone rubs me the wrong way, but it seems like there's a lot of women out there with chips on their shoulders, and I've learned the hard way that I do not want to be with someone who doesn't respect me and cherish me. I'll treat you like a princess if you treat me like a prince. Asking the guys - do you see a lot of this? And where are the nice women hiding?

 

3. Here's my OLD profile. Any red flags. I don't need it nitpicked - but anything that stands out that would through a red flag to make you (a woman) not contact me or respond if I contacted you?

 

Hi - I'm xxxx. Thanks for stopping by. I don’t mind women taking the initiative – if you think we’d click, you must submit. (An email or wink that is)

 

My friends would describe me as someone that is hard-working, warm, affectionate, and sarcastic. I’m family oriented and a good guy to know for “what should I do” type of situations. I find most people can talk to me, and usually come to me for advice. I listen well. I do push back with a smile. I'm also a verbal processor - I talk things/ideas out.

 

I’m silly, and goofy, and can still be a bit of klutz. (childhood was awkward). But I’m also a former debate coach, a leader in my industry, and I work with colleagues from around the world and with big titles, so I know when to be appropriate.

 

I grew up in xxx. I went to college here, moved around a bit for work & grad school, but found myself back. Former HS teacher turned corporate training professional. Yes, I have been assimilated.

 

I'd describe myself as a guy who tries to keep things balanced. I like learning and trying new things, but I definitely enjoy quiet time. I'm a site-specific extrovert. I'm the time of guy that can go out and enjoy a night out, but I also need time to relax and refresh. I keep a small circle of friends so I’m more the type to keep up with them than to be out constantly with different people.

I have a wide array of interests, including my career/industry, reading, cooking, traveling, just to name a few. I started my career as a high school teacher and now work in corporate training. I think education suits my personality - part engineer, part creative. I like figuring out how things work and I like building things so there's a scientist somewhere in my head. But I can be spontaneous and fun when it's time unwind. So I've got both a left and a right side brain - I'm just waiting to see which side wins out!

 

When I'm out - nothing like good music - rock, blues, jazz - with a good drink, good food and hopefully a good view. I love the warmer months, but I'm always up for a long walk around the city after dinner, even when it's cold. See my profile for more hobbies/interests.

 

What am I looking for? It's overused, but yes - my best friend. Non negotiables: affection, passion, laughter, communication, genuineness, and balance. Someone that can do the little things that make a relationship work and support each other. Short of that, I’m pretty simple.

 

Doesn't matter what you write. If you're good looking that's fine. If you're not then what you've written won't make a dent.

[Larryville]

Doesn't matter what you write. If you're good looking that's fine. If you're not then what you've written won't make a dent.

 

Exactly!

 

Your profile likely looks like a million other profiles “nice guys” try to write.

[fitnessfan365]

To be honest man, it's too much information. The average person has an extremely short attention span. So realistically, both men and women want two things. Good looking pics and a short profile that catches their attention. Chances are, women are seeing that wall of text and not even bothering to read it.

 

Have you profile be short and to the point. Interject some personality/humor/slight flirtation. Disclose a few things about yourself, but leave some things open ended and vague to motivate women to want to know you more. A travel brochure for instance, won't tell you everything there is to know about a destination. But it will hook you with a few selling points, cool pics, and let you find out more on your own when you go.

[AMJ]

1. I think OLD now is different than it was a few years ago. Now there's tons of sites and apps, there used to be only match.com and eHarmony. At least in CA, people gravitate towards one site for awhile and then all the buzz will shift to a new site. If you're only using one site, then you should diversify. I also think people now are less inclined to actually meet in person. I only go out with a very small percent of men I meet online, and it has more to do with both parties having too many options. One person always needs to take the lead and move the process forward, and it doesn't happen often. For example- we start messaging each other, and then one person gets busy or distracted, and the conversation drops off, and we never meet. Be more persistent. If a woman doesn't reply to your first message, send her a second one. If she replies to you at all, be persistent about meeting her in person, don't give up.

 

2- Where are the nice women hiding...maybe there is a nice woman hiding inside every mean one you meet. Just kidding, I know that's not true.

 

3- I won't nitpick. There's no red flags. But you could try to make it a bit more exciting somehow. Add some humor? Or instead of talking about your interests in a broad sense, be more specific. I'd rather read one or two sentences about a place you recently traveled to, or an awesome concert you just went to, than seeing- he likes music, books, and travel. I think you could shorten it a bit. Mystery is so much more intriguing. Try to cut out half of what you've written. OLD attention spans are very short.

[strawberryshortstack]

Doesn't matter what you write. If you're good looking that's fine. If you're not then what you've written won't make a dent.

 

See, I may be the only one, but I disagree. The guy I'm dating now, which is the best relationship I've ever been in, didn't even have pictures up on his profile. Yes, I did see pictures via private email, but I had already agreed to meet him before I saw the pictures.I loved what he wrote, and how he explained his answers to his match questions - we weren't initially a terribly high match, because the match questions on okcupid don't account for the "not so black and white" answers, so yes, I read the explanations and make my choice based on that.

 

However, I believe that the pictures can distract a profile visitor from the profile itself, so maybe there is some truth to what you say, but not everyone IS so superficial.

[strawberryshortstack]

To be honest man, it's too much information. The average person has an extremely short attention span. So realistically, both men and women want two things. Good looking pics and a short profile that catches their attention. Chances are, women are seeing that wall of text and not even bothering to read it.

 

Have you profile be short and to the point. Interject some personality/humor/slight flirtation. Disclose a few things about yourself, but leave some things open ended and vague to motivate women to want to know you more. A travel brochure for instance, won't tell you everything there is to know about a destination. But it will hook you with a few selling points, cool pics, and let you find out more on your own when you go.

 

I didn't think his profile was all that long...but then, mine is longer (when it's active). I have been told that it's too long, and I should shorten it. I actually did shorten it, but it's still on the long side. I decided to leave it as it is, because realistically, I don't want someone who won't take the time to read about the things I thought were important for them to know. So its length is a way for me to weed out guys who aren't good enough quality for me. So far, it's working pretty well.

[Mccoy321]

See, I may be the only one, but I disagree. The guy I'm dating now, which is the best relationship I've ever been in, didn't even have pictures up on his profile. Yes, I did see pictures via private email, but I had already agreed to meet him before I saw the pictures.I loved what he wrote, and how he explained his answers to his match questions - we weren't initially a terribly high match, because the match questions on okcupid don't account for the "not so black and white" answers, so yes, I read the explanations and make my choice based on that.

 

However, I believe that the pictures can distract a profile visitor from the profile itself, so maybe there is some truth to what you say, but not everyone IS so superficial.

So was he attractive when you met?

[Larryville]

I’ve posted this a couple of time, for threads like this good informational source.

Video Ted Talk - How I hacked online dating?

 

 

 

but not everyone IS so superficial.

 

Seriously!?

 

We live in a time where people are obsessed with taking bathroom selfies.

 

Laws are being created so that people can’t text and walk.

 

I work on a college campus and if I were to go about the campus 90% are on their phones.

 

Someone here posted a thread because someone was a bad texter.

 

I see frequent articles about Facebook addiction, people share an unhealthy amount of info via social media.

 

People judge their self-worth my how many Facebook friends they have, FB likes, Instagram likes…

 

Cluelessness, superficiality disengagement is rampant in society and it oozes on any OLD site.

[clia]

I agree with fitness fan that your profile is too long.

 

Here's what I wanted to know when I looked at a guy's profile:

 

1. What do you look like? Your pictures should cover this. Be sure they are clear.

 

2. What city do you live in? I wasn't interested in an LDR or a guy who lived an hour away.

 

3. Are you employed?

 

4. A few examples of interests, so I can see if we have anything in common.

 

5. Some way to get your personality across in the description, whether through humor, sarcasm, showing v. telling, whatever. Something to make you stand out.

 

You cover all of the above, but it's not well organized and feels repetitive. It's also a boring read and does nothing to help you stand out. Just my opinion.

[fitnessfan365]

I didn't think his profile was all that long...but then, mine is longer (when it's active). I have been told that it's too long, and I should shorten it. I actually did shorten it, but it's still on the long side. I decided to leave it as it is, because realistically, I don't want someone who won't take the time to read about the things I thought were important for them to know. So its length is a way for me to weed out guys who aren't good enough quality for me. So far, it's working pretty well.

 

But that's the thing though. The point of OLD is just to make an introduction with someone you're curious to get to know better in person. It isn't meant to let someone get to "know you". All it is words on a screen. IMO, it's better to save details for in person and hear stories/experiences attached that make up who that person is.

 

It's like when you meet someone IRL. You don't stand there for hours divuldging every detail. You chat for a bit, have an initial attraction, and arrange a date to find out more.

[S_A]

What do you guys think about pics that show your full body? I made a profile once, but its hard to take full body selfies. I had group pics but I don't think its right (for me anyway) to put other people's pics online. The other people could be cropped out, but then the pics tend to look awkward.

 

To me it Seemed like a lot of the women had professional shots that showed their whole body or solo pics that friends took of them. I've never been that guy that said to my friend or GF "Hey, I'm gonna do this pose and you're gonna take a pic of me, and I bet it's going to look cool". So I don't have solo full body shots with me posing in front of a scenic background or anything like that. On top of that, I've never been big on taking pictures. It's usually the GF that wants pictures with me (I'm happy to join), but I otherwise never went out of my way to take solo pics or even suggest/organize a group picture.

[fitnessfan365]

Speaking as a guy that's been Catfished countless times by obese women online, I'd say that full body pics are important. When a woman only shows facial shots, we're more likely to think she's hiding her body than anything else.

 

Now of course I get the outrage women have when guys ask for nudes, etc.. But if a guy simply wants to see a normal fully clothed profile shot, he's not the source of all evil for asking that. He simply has physical tastes and wants to get a good idea of who he's meeting. In real life there's obviously no need because you see someone before approaching. But not the case here.

[LookAtThisPOst]

The average person has an extremely short attention span

 

 

Oh, that explains why I'm not compatible with the average person. Means I wouldn't do well with them anyway, so it's moot.

[strawberryshortstack]

So was he attractive when you met?

 

Well, of course. I'm not saying that looks aren't important at all, but they're not the only thing. Perhaps I'm the exception to the rule, but I actually read the profile before responding to a message.

[Mccoy321]

Well, of course. I'm not saying that looks aren't important at all, but they're not the only thing. Perhaps I'm the exception to the rule, but I actually read the profile before responding to a message.

 

You got lucky then.

[strawberryshortstack]

I’ve posted this a couple of time, for threads like this good informational source.

Video Ted Talk - How I hacked online dating?

 

 

 

 

 

Seriously!?

 

We live in a time where people are obsessed with taking bathroom selfies.

 

Laws are being created so that people can’t text and walk.

 

I work on a college campus and if I were to go about the campus 90% are on their phones.

 

Someone here posted a thread because someone was a bad texter.

 

I see frequent articles about Facebook addiction, people share an unhealthy amount of info via social media.

 

People judge their self-worth my how many Facebook friends they have, FB likes, Instagram likes…

 

Cluelessness, superficiality disengagement is rampant in society and it oozes on any OLD site.

 

I'm not entirely sure I understand your point. None of this makes what I said untrue.

[strawberryshortstack]

But that's the thing though. The point of OLD is just to make an introduction with someone you're curious to get to know better in person. It isn't meant to let someone get to "know you". All it is words on a screen. IMO, it's better to save details for in person and hear stories/experiences attached that make up who that person is.

 

It's like when you meet someone IRL. You don't stand there for hours divuldging every detail. You chat for a bit, have an initial attraction, and arrange a date to find out more.

 

And I get that, but I put things into my profile that I feel they should know before meeting me. I don't think it's really the length that's the problem - it's the content. My profile was long, yes, but it was infused with my personality, which I think is so very important. People need to know you're worth meeting before meeting you, if you know what I mean.

[strawberryshortstack]

You got lucky then.

 

No, not really. I also did mention that he sent pictures before we met, they just weren't on his profile. He messaged me, and expressed interest in meeting me from the start. I read his profile, asked him a few questions, which he answered, and then I agreed to meet. It was after I agreed to meet that he sent me a few pictures, and then we met a couple of days later. I'd have met him even without the pictures, or even if the pictures weren't attractive.

[jasmineb]

I too have been with people whose physical appearance was not attractive to me from the beginning. Of course I did not find them repulsive, but they were not good looking or even kind of cute. However they were kind and confident and funny and had a positive outlook. And it was interesting that even though my first reaction to their picture was "oh...oh well" the longer I was with them the more appealing and good looking they became to me.

 

I also met someone who was so handsome I wondered why he was on an internet site for dating. Surely he could date easily I thought. But when we met he had been divorced by a wife who wasn't a good person and dated a woman who left him in the wind without a word. Both of these things were very unfair to be sure. But he was so angry and sarcastic and did not seem to like females. I understood after a brief coffee why he did not gets dates and I did not meet him again. Also he just was not as handsome to me once he had been speaking for a little while.

[hasaquestion]

Hi - I'm xxxx. Thanks for stopping by. I don’t mind women taking the initiative – if you think we’d click, you must submit. (An email or wink that is)

 

My friends would describe me as someone that is hard-working, warm, affectionate, and sarcastic. I’m family oriented and a good guy to know for “what should I do” type of situations. I find most people can talk to me, and usually come to me for advice. I listen well. I do push back with a smile. I'm also a verbal processor - I talk things/ideas out.

 

I’m silly, and goofy, and can still be a bit of klutz. (childhood was awkward). But I’m also a former debate coach, a leader in my industry, and I work with colleagues from around the world and with big titles, so I know when to be appropriate.

 

I grew up in xxx. I went to college here, moved around a bit for work & grad school, but found myself back. Former HS teacher turned corporate training professional. Yes, I have been assimilated.

 

I'd describe myself as a guy who tries to keep things balanced. I like learning and trying new things, but I definitely enjoy quiet time. I'm a site-specific extrovert. I'm the time of guy that can go out and enjoy a night out, but I also need time to relax and refresh. I keep a small circle of friends so I’m more the type to keep up with them than to be out constantly with different people.

I have a wide array of interests, including my career/industry, reading, cooking, traveling, just to name a few. I started my career as a high school teacher and now work in corporate training. I think education suits my personality - part engineer, part creative. I like figuring out how things work and I like building things so there's a scientist somewhere in my head. But I can be spontaneous and fun when it's time unwind. So I've got both a left and a right side brain - I'm just waiting to see which side wins out!

 

When I'm out - nothing like good music - rock, blues, jazz - with a good drink, good food and hopefully a good view. I love the warmer months, but I'm always up for a long walk around the city after dinner, even when it's cold. See my profile for more hobbies/interests.

 

What am I looking for? It's overused, but yes - my best friend. Non negotiables: affection, passion, laughter, communication, genuineness, and balance. Someone that can do the little things that make a relationship work and support each other. Short of that, I’m pretty simple.

 

I'm not a girl so maybe my opinion doesn't count, but I think that's waaaaaaay too long.

 

If I were you I'd pare down the actual text to a paragraph at most and let the pictures do the talking. Show, don't tell. Have a career? Stick a picture from a conference or something with you suited up in there. You like traveling? Put a picture in front of a famous place or a picture of you traveling. Don't try to describe your personality with words. It's empty language at best (everyone says that they have a good sense of humor) and oversharing or awkward at worst (the part about your childhood).

[serial muse]

Hi scooby - on your profile: no red flags, but I agree that it's a bit long. I liked the guy I read about on it, but it could use some verve, and some of that may be doable just by editing yourself down a bit. I think you could tighten it up and, as others have said, add a few specifics. It's not a bad profile, just too long IMO.

 

It's interesting that you say your friends would describe you as sarcastic; from your profile itself, I didn't really get that impression. The profile conveys someone pleasant, serious, straightforward -- all good things to know. But it's lacking a sense of personality, and that might be the missing ingredient. What would chitchatting with you be like?

 

For those who said women don't read the profiles - well, that's not universally true, of course. I read them, when I was doing OLD. I was looking for the things clia mentioned upthread, and in particular, the intangible thing listed as her #5 - personality. I always weighted that very heavily in deciding who to meet. I wanted to know how at ease we might be together, whether there was the possibility of a meeting of minds.

 

By the by - the second question, OP. How are the women displaying "meanness", exactly? I assume you don't mean sarcasm.

Edited April 1, 2016 by serial muse

[hasaquestion]

Hi scooby - on your profile: no red flags, but I agree that it's a bit long. I liked the guy I read about on it, but it could use some verve, and some of that may be doable just by editing yourself down a bit. I think you could tighten it up and, as others have said, add a few specifics. It's not a bad profile, just too long IMO.

 

It's interesting that you say your friends would describe you as sarcastic; from your profile itself, I didn't really get that impression. The profile conveys someone pleasant, serious, straightforward -- all good things to know. But it's lacking a sense of personality, and that might be the missing ingredient. What would chitchatting with you be like?

 

For those who said women don't read the profiles - well, that's not universally true, of course. I read them, when I was doing OLD. I was looking for the things clia mentioned upthread, and in particular, the intangible thing listed as her #5 - personality. I always weighted that very heavily in deciding who to meet. I wanted to know how at ease we might be together, whether there was the possibility of a meeting of minds.

 

By the by - the second question, OP. How are the women displaying "meanness", exactly? I assume you don't mean sarcasm.

 

Define red flags though. He doesn't sound like a serial killer or a rapist, but isn't 'boring' a red flag too? What about 'oversharing'? Again, grain of salt - I'm not a girl, and I don't plan on becoming one - but if I were I'd have nexted him unless he bowled me over with his looks. I think he's shooting himself in the foot with the format of his profile.

[serial muse]

Define red flags though. He doesn't sound like a serial killer or a rapist, but isn't 'boring' a red flag too? What about 'oversharing'? Again, grain of salt - I'm not a girl, and I don't plan on becoming one - but if I were I'd have nexted him unless he bowled me over with his looks. I think he's shooting himself in the foot with the format of his profile.

 

I dunno, I wouldn't call it a red flag. Maybe a pink flag.

 

Red flag to me, equals absolute no-go, forget it, never gonna happen. By contrast, if this guy contacted me, I'd say, hm, and exchange a few emails to get a better sense of him. But I'm not sure I would reach out, myself. So there's that.

 

Edit to clarify: I wouldn't call the profile boring, by the by. I just felt like it was too much telling and not enough showing. But even that could be improved by trimming it down.

Edited April 1, 2016 by serial muse

[BlueIris]

To be honest man, it's too much information. The average person has an extremely short attention span. So realistically, both men and women want two things. Good looking pics and a short profile that catches their attention. Chances are, women are seeing that wall of text and not even bothering to read it.

 

Have you profile be short and to the point. Interject some personality/humor/slight flirtation. Disclose a few things about yourself, but leave some things open ended and vague to motivate women to want to know you more. A travel brochure for instance, won't tell you everything there is to know about a destination. But it will hook you with a few selling points, cool pics, and let you find out more on your own when you go.

 

Yes! I’d say it’s a lot of words but not much information.

 

Most people want someone who brings something positive into their lives and what that means to people varies so much. When profiles are emotional and mostly judgments and conclusions, I conclude that he’s looking for someone to fill a hole. When a profile is generic, I figure he’ll take anything.

 

Be specific. It's more interesting.

 

...

I’m silly, and goofy, (say something silly or goofy, people vary on what they consider silly and goofy. I once had a headline, “I’m not dead yet” which some in my generation might get- plus we’re old and lots of people are humorlessly intense about aging. Is that funny or goofy? Only to someone who’d like me.)

...

I like learning and trying new things, (in the past 2 years what new things did you try or learn? Hindi? knitting? Skydiving?)

...

I'm the time of guy that can go out and enjoy a night out, (doing what? are you going to movies? If so, are you a Batman or documentary fan? a jazz club? the theater? Michelin restaurants? What are your favorites? How often do you do that thing or those things?)

...

I have a wide array of interests, including my career/industry, reading, cooking, traveling, just to name a few. (where have you traveled in the past 2 years? what silly/goofy thing happened on the trip? what authors do you like? what's the best dinner you serve?)

...

When I'm out - nothing like good music - rock, blues, jazz - with a good drink, good food and hopefully a good view. (favorite performers? best shows you've seen? who would you travel to see? )

 

Give them something to connect to, to pique the interest.

Edited April 1, 2016 by BlueIris