How come...?

[JustGettingBy]

Whenever someone posts in the 'dating' area about 'I'm dating this person with very little experience, should I bail?' the answer is almost always 'yes, there's something wrong with them if they haven't had a R yet.'

 

Then when someone posts here 'I've never been in a R, is there something wrong with me?' the answer is 'no, don't worry, you're fine.'

[basil67]

If someone posts that they are 27 and have never had a relationship, I'd be one of the many posters trying to help them figure out what they are doing wrong.

 

I'm clearly not seeing the same posts as you.

[len51]

We do not go online to ask total strangers what shoes to wear, pants to buy, color of car, etc., so why would anyone ask total strangers for relationship advice? I only answer questions since I can figure out solution for myself. It has worked very well for me for 65 years. When you go online looking for advice you are going to get subjective responses. I respond based on my experience which is totally different than others unless they have a bisexual wife who shares them with her best friend and more. I have been cheated on, cheated and dated cheaters. All three of my relationships were with bisexual woman. I never was in a relationship with a heterosexual woman. My first fiancee sent me a Dear John letter when I was fighting in Vietnam and could not see her for 6 more months. No cell phones back then. My second one asked my friends to gang bang her. I married the third and we have been very happily married in our non monogamous marriage.

 

My experience makes me to believe that cheating partners should not be forgiven or have another chance. I have noticed that a person's past behavior is a pretty good indicator of their future behavior. Adults rarely change their basic nature. It also has resulted in me not believing that monogamy is workable in a world that rather practice serial monogamy. Apparently if you want a night of sex with some other woman, the moral thing to do is to first destroy your marriage, pay alimony, child support and grow to hate your spouse. Then it is morally right to have sex with that other woman.

 

You are not going to get objective advice for the above reasons and not knowing who you really are. Everyone presents themselves as they want others to see them, on the internet and yet we tell people to divorce or not without lots of the key information needed to be objective.

 

So, if you find contradictory advice, that is not the worst of it.

[Satu]

I must be missing those replies, because all the ones I see are helpful and encouraging.

[JustGettingBy]

I must be missing those replies, because all the ones I see are helpful and encouraging.

 

I thought I made it clear. When its someone with little/no experience is posting I do see helpful/positive replies. However, if someone is saying "I'm dating someone with little to no experience," its almost always "get out now, there's something wrong with them."

[Satu]

I thought I made it clear. When its someone with little/no experience is posting I do see helpful/positive replies. However, if someone is saying "I'm dating someone with little to no experience," its almost always "get out now, there's something wrong with them."

 

Thanks for the clarification.

 

I missed your point the first time.

 

Mea culpa.

[gaius]

Often when people are single they tend to want to keep other people that way too, just human nature, and I'd say loveshack heavily skews towards the single population. So a theoretical conversation about whether or not it's wrong to not have had a relationship might elicit one answer while another that covers the same topic but decides the fate of a relationship gives you a totally different one.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Whenever someone posts in the 'dating' area about 'I'm dating this person with very little experience, should I bail?' the answer is almost always 'yes, there's something wrong with them if they haven't had a R yet.'

 

Then when someone posts here 'I've never been in a R, is there something wrong with me?' the answer is 'no, don't worry, you're fine.'

 

Yeah, it is funny...one day you'll see advice given, then some time later...you'll see contradictory advice. It comes in phases I guess.

 

Often when people are single they tend to want to keep other people that way too, just human nature, and I'd say loveshack heavily skews towards the single population

 

Was about to say THIS, too.

 

There seems to be a bias in the "throw in the towel" advice, with no supplementary commentary that follows up.

[ZA Dater]

I thought I made it clear. When its someone with little/no experience is posting I do see helpful/positive replies. However, if someone is saying "I'm dating someone with little to no experience," its almost always "get out now, there's something wrong with them."

 

Unfortunately having had no relationship experience is seen as a red flag beyond a certain age. People have the ability to choose and when someone isn't chosen questions need to be asked as to why, these questions would not be asked of someone with a relationship history. Around about now someone will say "but they wont know" the fact is they will, ladies are perceptive and recently I had feedback that I am seen as severely shy and lacking in confidence.

 

Having said all of that I think there are some great advice given on here and I refuse to believe that most of it is not well meaning advice.

 

Just as with everything in life, some people are more helpable than others.