mike2388 Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 My LDR boyfriend's good friend is trying to get us to travel with her to San Francisco. I get to see my LDR boyfriend every other month for brief periods. When we visit I highly value our one on one time as I feel that one on one time is extremely important in any relationship. Meeting him in San Francisco sounds quite nice and fun to change things up but I'm not sure if it's the best idea to go with his good friend who is actually trying to plan the trip. I've gotten somewhat closer to her as she now lives near me rather than near him. The only thing I'm a bit weary about is that since I seldomly get time with my boyfriend, is the visit with his friend there the entire time going to be satisfying enough? Would I rather just stick to our normal visits of him or myself traveling to each others' city. Will his friend (whose idea this is) feel like a third wheel? Will I feel like a third wheel? Will substantial alone time between us be better or is taking a trip to a cool city with his (and now my) friend be quite fun and exciting? Any thoughts or opinions? What would you do? My boyfriend is having the same questions. Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 If that is your only time to see each other for a couple months, you will need alone time together. Could this be a trip in addition to your regular visits? In a LDR, you don't want to sacrifice all of your alone time together. In my LDR, we see each other every other week and still need alone time together. So, when there's an event or trip with our friends or family that we attend together, we always make sure to allow time for just us to reconnect alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike2388 Posted April 2, 2016 Author Share Posted April 2, 2016 If that is your only time to see each other for a couple months, you will need alone time together. Could this be a trip in addition to your regular visits? In a LDR, you don't want to sacrifice all of your alone time together. In my LDR, we see each other every other week and still need alone time together. So, when there's an event or trip with our friends or family that we attend together, we always make sure to allow time for just us to reconnect alone. Thank you for your advice. Unfortunately we live an expensive 2500 miles from each other. So it's either the trip with the three of us or just our typical normal visit. I know his friend is extremely enthusiastic and persistent on taking this trip with us. I want to make things work with this trip as I know he would love to see her too. I'm wondering if my boyfriend and I were to plan at least a date without her one or two of the nights while in San Francisco if that would suffice. Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 Thank you for your advice. Unfortunately we live an expensive 2500 miles from each other. So it's either the trip with the three of us or just our typical normal visit. I know his friend is extremely enthusiastic and persistent on taking this trip with us. I want to make things work with this trip as I know he would love to see her too. I'm wondering if my boyfriend and I were to plan at least a date without her one or two of the nights while in San Francisco if that would suffice. If I were you, I would go on the trip but make sure to have at least a night to just yourselves. Your boyfriend should plan this for you two. You should not be sharing ALL of your time with his friend, and she should be understanding about this. Link to post Share on other sites
Cherryz Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 If both of you feel the same you can easily tell her that you wont be going with her and that you want some alone time with him since you dont see him often. On the other hand since its ldr, maybe its also a moment for you to get to know him in a different situation. Just be honest, dont let her come along and treat her bad or so Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 If I understand what you wrote, it sounds like to me the real problem is *she's* making the arrangements for this trip. I don't understand why you can't do both (as in, do the trip as three friends, but also have time for just you and your boyfriend). Can't you plan the trip so that the three of you meet up for "X" days, and then she goes her merry way/arrives a couple of days later/goes home, so you and your BF have a day or two together? No different than someone going on a business trip and tacking on some personal vacation days either before or after to do whatever they please... If she's not open to making those sort of arrangements for the three of you, then tell her you and your BF will make your own plans and let her know when what days you'll be in SF at which time all three of you can hook up, so she can make her own travel plans accordingly. HTH, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
Gosh Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 Go on the trip. It will be fun, different and i am sure you can find some alone time. At this point in the relationship if it was a CD wouldn't you be going on nights out with friends? dinner at a friends place? Go and have fun!! Link to post Share on other sites
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