Opium Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 I've noticed from a lot of people here in LS that most are going to therapy or read books to get through they're hard times. I personally have never had to go to therapy and yes once in a while I've thought about reading a book about my well-being and how to make my life a better one by self-inmprovement, But does it really work?? Theirs been a few times in my life where I thought therapy would be appropriate but in the end I tell/think to myself "it doesn't work". Is this just me, or should I consider it? I'm not much of a reader but I could start off by reading books better than actually going through therapy. Any input? Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Opium, I feel the same way about therapy. I would much rather take time out and isolate where i ma going wrong then reda up and try and improve my weakness. Sure beats paying some dude through the nose By the way your lil painting image who is that by? Link to post Share on other sites
JPMorgan Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Everyone is different. If you don't think it will work for you then you might be going into it with a preconceived idea that will have more influence on the outcome than you think. I say nothing ventured, nothing gained. Check out a book or video at the library and/or have a consultation with a therapist just to learn more about therapy itself and see if you think it would benefit you to have some counseling sessions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Opium Posted June 16, 2005 Author Share Posted June 16, 2005 By the way your lil painting image who is that by? Dunno, I just saw it and it felt so real to me. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Depends on your issue. If you were raped or sexually abused as a child I would not recommend "taking time out to isolate where you're going wrong" -- because you aren't going wrong, per se, you had a traumatic incident that affects logical thinking. If not for therapy I would be dead. Now, that said, not everyone needs therapy. If you are having difficulty being functional in every day life (paying bills, cleaning house, sleeping too much/too little, hypervigilance, eating problems, mood swings, etc.) -- then therapy would be a good idea. The whole concept of therapy involves interacting with an objective, outside influence that has the knowledge to teach you coping skills that you would not be able to discover on your own because of your pre-existing dysfunctions. Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Opium, Your taste for art is chilling Link to post Share on other sites
Author Opium Posted June 16, 2005 Author Share Posted June 16, 2005 The whole concept of therapy involves interacting with an objective, outside influence that has the knowledge to teach you coping skills that you would not be able to discover on your own because of your pre-existing dysfunctions. That's very helpful BO. Never thought about it that way. I'm not going through any dramatic or huge enough (I think) to actually go to a therapist but never considered it because I thought it wouldn't help. But maybe it would, everyones different as everyone else said, that's why I wonder if the experience would be the same for me, helpful or a wast of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Opium Posted June 16, 2005 Author Share Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by AndrewJ Opium, Your taste for art is chilling Why thank you Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by Opium That's very helpful BO. Never thought about it that way. I'm not going through any dramatic or huge enough (I think) to actually go to a therapist but never considered it because I thought it wouldn't help. But maybe it would, everyones different as everyone else said, that's why I wonder if the experience would be the same for me, helpful or a wast of time. Well the idea is that, to get anywhere in therapy, you have to have identified your goals. One of mine was to be able to access my emotions in a healthier way and it is helping me deal with anger from past issues better than ever. If you just kind of wander in thinking, hmmm I wonder if this'll help -- it prolly won't, because you'll just be treading water. Identify areas in your life where you could function better. Work out achievable goals. Then the therapist becomes a tool to increase your ability to function and thrive in your life, rather than this person who "knows it all" (which they don't) -- they can be a useful tool, though, and a very disturbingly clear mirror as well. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by Opium I've noticed from a lot of people here in LS that most are going to therapy or read books to get through they're hard times. I personally have never had to go to therapy and yes once in a while I've thought about reading a book about my well-being and how to make my life a better one by self-inmprovement, But does it really work?? Theirs been a few times in my life where I thought therapy would be appropriate but in the end I tell/think to myself "it doesn't work". Is this just me, or should I consider it? I'm not much of a reader but I could start off by reading books better than actually going through therapy. Any input? Yes they do for most "relationship" problems. If the issues are deeper, then you may not find help in a book alone. The books are good because they give good examples of good/bad behavior, thoughts and opinions of yourself. They also give good exercises to help you work through them. For some people, reading and comprehending is all the need. For others, they need to talk to someone independent of their "world" who is educated and understands how to assess and work someone through these types of issues. My Counselor is good. She doesn't tell me what I want to hear, she tells me what I "need" to hear. And she doesn't take any crap from me. She thinks the books are great but cautions that you shouldn't use them as the ONLY reference for healing but that combined with a good Counselor you can recover -- and quickly. She also cautioned that a lot of people on forums such as these are "jilted" and as such will have very strong and biased opinions of how to handle things and not all the advice is wise or necessarily even true for you. I've made some tremendous strides over the past 30 days due to the amount of reading I have done and Counseling 2x a week. In fact, I am going tonight. I started my sessions by crying and whining about what my Ex did to me and now here towards the end I understand it's what *I* did to *myself* that put me in this situation. I have control over own happiness, not someone else and I will never give someone else control again. Calm Confident Self-Assured Masculine That's what I was striving for and I am almost there. So yes, I think Counseling and Books are probably the smartest way of getting mentally fit as quickly as possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Opium Posted June 16, 2005 Author Share Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Yes they do. The books are good because they give good examples of good bad behavior, thoughts and opinions of yourself. They also give good exercises to help you work through them. For some people, reading and comprehending is all the need. For others, they need to talk to someone independent of their "world" who is educated and understands how to assess and work someone through these types of issues. My Counselor is good. She doesn't tell me what I want to hear, she tells me what I "need" to hear. And she doesn't take any crap from me. She thinks the books are great but cautions that you shouldn't use them as the ONLY reference for healing but that combined with a good Counselor you can recover -- and quickly. She also cautioned that a lot of people on forums such as these are "jilted" and as such will have very strong and biased opinions of how to handle things and not all the advice is wise or necessarily even true for you. I've made some tremendous strides over the past 30 days due to the amount of reading I have done and Counseling 2x a week. In fact, I am going tonight. I started my sessions by crying and whining about what my Ex did to me and now here towards the end I understand it's what *I* did to *myself* that put me in this situation. I have control over own happiness, not someone else and I will never give someone else control again. Calm Confident Self-Assured Masculine That's what I was striving for and I am almost there. So yes, I think Counseling and Books are probably the smartest way of getting mentally fit as quickly as possible. That's really nice to hear/read. I'm glad things are looking up for you. I just feel sometimes it would be a little hard/weird to express myself to a therapist. I've had friends go to therapy and it changes their lives compeletly, it's amazing. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by Opium That's really nice to hear/read. I'm glad things are looking up for you. I just feel sometimes it would be a little hard/weird to express myself to a therapist. I've had friends go to therapy and it changes their lives compeletly, it's amazing. I can understand how some people don't feel comfortable opening up to strangers (such as Counselors). To me, those are best people to open up to because they don't have a biased opinion (or feelings either way) of you. They aren't being paid to tell you what you want to hear. They are (sometimes) brutally honest where your family and friends will tend to coddle you. There is no healing in being told what you want to hear, but only in the truth and what is reality. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC There is no healing in being told what you want to hear, but only in the truth and what is reality. Problem is that one therapist may say one thing and another therapist another thing. They are only human. Books and therapists are a good place to start but when the dust settles, 95% of the work will have to be done by yourself... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by AndrewJ Opium, I feel the same way about therapy. I would much rather take time out and isolate where i ma going wrong then reda up and try and improve my weakness. Sure beats paying some dude through the nose I've noticed from a lot of people here in LS that most are going to therapy or read books to get through they're hard times. I wasn't one for therapy ever...But once I developed this f**k'n anxiety disorder and couldn't deal with it on my own I HAD to DO something about it and get my ass to therapy. I tell ya, it's worth every cent. Maybe others feel differently about it, but I knew I couldn't handle it on my own anymore. I have no shame in going to T. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Books and therapists are a good place to start but when the dust settles, 95% of the work will have to be done by yourself... Which is why the kind of therapy I do, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, is the best. You have to do all the leg work to get better. What you put into CBT is what you get out of it. It's not easy, but well worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Opium Posted June 16, 2005 Author Share Posted June 16, 2005 I wouldn't be ashamed, gosh no. It's just a different approach that I might consider once shyt hits the fan, if of course I need it. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 I was ashamed of needing help. Took me 9 months to actually tell more than just family and my 2 closest friends that I was going. Too scared and worried to say anything because of the negativity surrounding mental illness, not that anxiety is a real mental illness, it's fixable, most mental illnesses aren't. With the help of therapy and my wonderful and amazing therapist I'm at the point now I couldn't care less who thinks what of me and anxiety disorder! Anyone I know who finds out and their opinion of me changes, well screw them! Means they weren't really my friend to begin with and honestly ain't worth knowing!! I look at it is I am bettering myself and not sitting on my ass and whining about it. Too many people I know of who sit and complain and don't do anything to change! I wish I could do it all on my own, but I couldn't. Therapy is good for the soul! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Opium Posted June 16, 2005 Author Share Posted June 16, 2005 I'm happy to hear it helped. I don't want to be that kind of person either, the type who complain and complain but doesn't do anything about it. I'm not like that at all but I would hate to get to that point. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Problem is that one therapist may say one thing and another therapist another thing. They are only human. Books and therapists are a good place to start but when the dust settles, 95% of the work will have to be done by yourself... I've had 8 therapists in my life. They have all said that same thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Opium Posted June 16, 2005 Author Share Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter I've had 8 therapists in my life. They have all said that same thing. Good to know! Link to post Share on other sites
InmannRoshi Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 A therapist is nothing more than a trained professional in their area of expertise. You hire trained professionals all the time to help you out in life ... be it plumber, mechanic, lawyer, optomitrist, etc. etc. If your toilet was stopped up for 2 years, and you couldn't fix it with your limited experience and a plunger, would you sit there and just not use the toilet because you were too embarassed or ashamed to admit you needed a trained professional to help you? It shouldn't even be a question. Likewise, I see no reason why someone stuck in a thought or behavoural rut should view a therapist any differently. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter I've had 8 therapists in my life. They have all said that same thing. what did they say? that you're a crazy ass beeyotch??? i think everyone could agree on that B_0. j/k Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by InmannRoshi If your toilet was stopped up for 2 years, and you couldn't fix it with your limited experience and a plunger, would you sit there and just not use the toilet because you were too embarassed or ashamed to admit you needed a trained professional to help you? :lmao: Oh. My. God. That was a high-LAR-ious analogy. Yeah, ALPHA, they all said I was a crazy beyotch. I then used the force to strangle them. Link to post Share on other sites
billybadass36 Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 I've done both. Neither helped me. That's not to say they wouldn't help anyone else. What worked for me when I was having problems was myself and figuring out that I was normal and that it's normal to have problems from time to time. Sitting in a room with a stranger puking out all of your perceived "problems" is stupid to me. I'm an intelligent enough person to know what's wrong with me and I fix it. I also think these therapists have a vested interest in creating problems within people so they stay in business....making you think you're more f-ed up than you really are or making any kind of recovery agonizingly slow...more sessions and more books sold means more dollars. Yippee! I think it becomes addictive for some people. But then again, that's just me and my own perception and experience. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by billybadass36 I've done both. Neither helped me. Dude...you're waaay beyond therapy. Divine intervention is called for here Link to post Share on other sites
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