blind_otter Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by billybadass36 I've done both. Neither helped me. That's not to say they wouldn't help anyone else. What worked for me when I was having problems was myself and figuring out that I was normal and that it's normal to have problems from time to time. Sitting in a room with a stranger puking out all of your perceived "problems" is stupid to me. I'm an intelligent enough person to know what's wrong with me and I fix it. I also think these therapists have a vested interest in creating problems within people so they stay in business....making you think you're more f-ed up than you really are or making any kind of recovery agonizingly slow...more sessions and more books sold means more dollars. Yippee! I think it becomes addictive for some people. But then again, that's just me and my own perception and experience. This is what my boyfriend says, and why he is skeptical about me and therapy. I think it's a common attitude among men.... Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 I'm an intelligent enough person to know what's wrong with me and I fix it. That's a nice myth. It's not about being 'intelligent enough' whatsoever. Often when people are mired in problems of some sort or another, they can't think clearly enough to be able to sort out what might be causing their problems. There are all sorts of things that can cause one grief that one might not even be aware of until a competent professional helps one to discover them. And we haven't even touched on people who have biomedical illnesses or a combination of biomedical illness and life issues. I also think these therapists have a vested interest in creating problems within people so they stay in business....making you think you're more f-ed up than you really are or making any kind of recovery agonizingly slow...more sessions and more books sold means more dollars. Yep. And physicians screw up your organs so you'll go back, too. Mind you, people with major control issues tend to refuse to see therapists or believe in them because they think they know everything. Inmann Roshi's comparison of professionals is exactly right. No normal mortal can have the same expertise and knowledge as a therapist does precisely because the therapists have devoted much more time to learning about what ails people and how to repair it. It's NOTHING to do with 'intelligence' and everything to do with training and knowledge. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme Mind you, people with major control issues tend to refuse to see therapists or believe in them because they think they know everything. Exactly! Way too many stubborn people out there. Link to post Share on other sites
miss-gonewest Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup Which is why the kind of therapy I do, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, is the best. You have to do all the leg work to get better. What you put into CBT is what you get out of it. It's not easy, but well worth it. WWIU, can you explain a little more about CBT therapy? I too have been thinking of going to see a therapist, but sitting there talking about my problems whilst lying on a couch gives me the creeps... I know I had a kooky upbringing and this has skewed my behavior and expectations - I don't want to spend hours talking about my relationship with my parents, I want to know how to change me, and my expectations and desires. I am willing to take the step, do the work and pay the money, but I want to know how to change... and I want to see results. I keep making the same mistakes, and picking the same type of man, and it must be for a reason. I want to know how to actively change MY behavior and my patterns so it doesn't happen again. Is this what CBT therapy is about? Or is it sitting around pow-wowing? Sorry - I am totally naive about therapy but also don't know where to start on getting the RIGHT therapy. Any pointers or examples or thoughts would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Here's a fairly extensive explanation of the different therapies avalilable in psych http://psychcentral.com/therapy.htm He even has a free 'do I need therapy' quiz! Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 I think it's a combination of things. Therapy helps because you get real-time feedback that pertains directly to your situation. Books can help identify behavior and give examples of how to change your behavior, or help explain why you behave the way you do. But I don't think books OR therapy can really give you self esteem, which seems to be the main thing a lot of people lack. I think decent self esteem can only come from within, from accomplishment, and from recognizing your value. Link to post Share on other sites
SexKitten Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 i think if you want those things to work and believe they will, then they might help you. i never tried self-help books, i don't believe in them, but if you do, you should try it. it's less expensive than therapy and you might learn a few things you didn't think of before. i did try therapy a few years ago. it was only for a few weeks. in my experience, it didn't do much for me. to get where i am now, i had to do it myself, and i'm doing very well. i think if i had stayed with therapy, i might have used it as a crutch for my survival, and i am happy that i cut the cord. nothing works for all people, but that doesn't mean it can't work for you. Link to post Share on other sites
miss-gonewest Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Thanks for the link - I did the quiz and was in low category....ie. I could benefit.... My guess is that it won't harm me any, its still just finding the right type. I'm still not sure, it was a bit general but it gives me something to go on. Thanks Moimeme. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 You might have to try a few therapists, too. Like with any professional, you need to find a good 'fit' - someone you feel you click with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Opium Posted June 23, 2005 Author Share Posted June 23, 2005 But I don't think books OR therapy can really give you self esteem, which seems to be the main thing a lot of people lack. I think decent self esteem can only come from within, from accomplishment, and from recognizing your value. I agree with you on this one Treasa. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by Treasa I think it's a combination of things. Therapy helps because you get real-time feedback that pertains directly to your situation. Books can help identify behavior and give examples of how to change your behavior, or help explain why you behave the way you do. But I don't think books OR therapy can really give you self esteem, which seems to be the main thing a lot of people lack. I think decent self esteem can only come from within, from accomplishment, and from recognizing your value. Neither "give" you self-esteem. They merely provide you a path of enlightenment to show you how YOU can get there. I agree, only YOU can do it, but it is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to do it alone. Link to post Share on other sites
SexKitten Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I agree, only YOU can do it, but it is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to do it alone. right, not impossible. i didn't even need books, therapy, or even god. the point is, if you're comfortable with it and you think it would help, there's little harm in trying it out. you're never stuck with it. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 i didn't even need books, therapy, or even god. You do realize you're coming off as pretty sure you're something special because of that. Goody for you. No need to try to make others feel inferior because they choose another means of finding their way, now is there? Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by SexKitten right, not impossible. i didn't even need books, therapy, or even god. the point is, if you're comfortable with it and you think it would help, there's little harm in trying it out. you're never stuck with it. Not everyone is as "unique" as you, SK Link to post Share on other sites
miss-gonewest Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 Originally posted by miss-gonewest Thanks for the link - I did the quiz and was in low category....ie. I could benefit.... My guess is that it won't harm me any, its still just finding the right type. I'm still not sure, it was a bit general but it gives me something to go on. Thanks Moimeme. Well it seems I got me a therapist to try out.... I was with a friend tonight who cannot praise her counsellor enough... and my word, my friend has had a tough time! I haven't anything on her, but I've got 'issues' so I'm more than happy to take my tales to her and try her out. I'll let ya'all know how I go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Opium Posted July 21, 2005 Author Share Posted July 21, 2005 I didn't feel like starting a whole new thread so I decided to add to this one! Ok, with much thought put into this I really need to consider getting some type of therapy just to make myself feel better. But I'm afraid of what my family might say. They're problem going to think I'm nuts and say "You don't need it". That's not what I want to hear. I feel I have to do this for myself, and I'm afraid of going. I've never been to therapy and it seems like a good thing right now. It's hard to think of yourself as someone who needs special help because I never thought it would get to this but it has. So, with this in mind, how do I go about looking for a good therapist? How do I know their going to be good, is it a trial and error thing? Any input would be good I'm kinda in the dark about this whole therapy thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Jolene Posted July 21, 2005 Share Posted July 21, 2005 Everyone is different, right? When you find a good fit for a partner/mate, it's not without having met a few unsuitable contendors. Same with counselling...the right counsellor/therapist is out there for you to find. This person will ask the right questions, and you will 'click' because it is the right fit professionally and personally. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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