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Boss has a sick kid


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I've been working remotely, P/T for some really nice guys - their agency is about a good 2 hours away from where I live in NY, but our arrangement has been going well for more than a year now.

 

The one guy who hired me, Jake, well he's got something pending that takes him to LA, although he will remain working for the company. He told me this because I explained to him lately that the gigs I take on the side are just SO DRAINING and I was looking to increase my hours and stop the other gigs. So then he told me since he was leaving, there'd soon be an active search for more help inside the office.

 

So this leaves our superior, Thomas, kind of scrambling for someone who help him manage other people - I have done this sort of work before.

 

Somewhere in all of this, Thomas neglects to pay my invoices, but when he does, he emails me saying sorry, and telling me his daughter was diagnosed with a brain tumor.

 

Oh... my... God.

 

I felt terrible!!

 

And then they sent me another email, telling me all about the position, salary, blah blah blah, all good - but I'd have to relocate because, again, this is 2 hours away.

 

The thing is, I know it sounds stupid maybe, but hearing this about his kid being sick just really hurt/upset me - I am also a parent and I cannot imagine what this man is going through.

 

I know I have to follow-up on this on Monday and talk business, but it sure feels wrong... like does he really give a **** at a time like this?

 

But then again, with Jake leaving and him having these personal issues maybe he does want this done with so it's all off his plate, so in that way I'd be doing him a favor.

 

I just don't wanna seem like a cold bitch, and maybe I'm just not good at taking my heart out of matters relating to sick children... so maybe basically all I have to express is that I'll do whatever I can to be there for him and how best can I help?

 

Oh well, what way might you handle this?

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amaysngrace

I'd just meet with him and be as accommodating as you can reasonably be without putting yourself out too much. It's probably a very stressful time for him but his work probably helps him take his mind off things at home.

 

Maybe you can ask what her prognosis is to show you care. A lot of times kids can beat cancer. She'll probably never have kids of her own though if she receives chemo and they haven't harvested her eggs but I wouldn't get into all that with him.

 

Most times you only have to express concern and lend an ear.

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I'd just meet with him and be as accommodating as you can reasonably be without putting yourself out too much. It's probably a very stressful time for him but his work probably helps him take his mind off things at home.

 

Maybe you can ask what her prognosis is to show you care. A lot of times kids can beat cancer. She'll probably never have kids of her own though if she receives chemo and they haven't harvested her eggs but I wouldn't get into all that with him.

 

Most times you only have to express concern and lend an ear.

 

I think you're right, and yeah, work is probably a good distraction right now... so I will email him today, it's a work email so it doesn't matter and I'll just tell him we'll talk Monday.

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For many people who have worked hard their whole lives and that is their routine, during times of extreme stress like this, working and being on your routine can be a real "timeout" from having to amp up and be emotional and worry about it. I know I've always found getting to work a real relief because it gives me a good excuse to stop stressing for some amount of time and carry on. So don't feel bad. Do a polite inquiry about his daughter, but keep it brief.

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For many people who have worked hard their whole lives and that is their routine, during times of extreme stress like this, working and being on your routine can be a real "timeout" from having to amp up and be emotional and worry about it. I know I've always found getting to work a real relief because it gives me a good excuse to stop stressing for some amount of time and carry on. So don't feel bad. Do a polite inquiry about his daughter, but keep it brief.

 

True, very true! Well I did send him a short email letting him know that he could call me whenever it was convenient for him.

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