ConfuzedGirl Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Im in a really strange 'relationship' if you can even call it that. I've been with my "friend" for about a year and half. He and I met in the 9th grade and became good friends, but for whatever reason we both moved away and lost contact. This was about 8 years ago. So, three years ago i went out with my friends and we so happened to run into eachother again, but this time it was different. We were much older and we hit it off, there was that instant attraction to eachother. So our "friendship" started to bloom for the next couple of months we were constantly together and constantly on the phone. So in late march of 2003 so he tells me that he is going on a long family vacation for a month to mexico. So i was understanding and we agreed that we were going to keep in touch. Well, he left and the vacation went from 1 month to lasting 3 months and there wasn't very much contact. Well, towards the end of May of 2003 his best friend tells me some GREAT NEWS (sarcasam) the news is that he got married to a family friend. Thats why that short vacation turned long. I got extremely hurt by this because my friend didn't tell me HIMSELF he had his best friend tell me. So i decided to go live at my parents house down south. My friend comes back from his vacation with his new girl (they didn't get married by court they just moved in together) in late may 2003 and my august 2003 his girl leaves him. This was obviously good news to me so i came back from parents'. Hoping to rekindle what we had. Anyways.... As soon i returned....He and i got back together as friends..which later became more(FWB),but he didn't want to be considered FWB because we were more than that. That alone confused me. We don't have that label "BF/GF", but we both don't date other people. I practically live with him. We know eachothers families and friends. I just don't understand where he's coming from. He makes unappropiate remarks about other girls in front of me, but yet i can't do that bout other guys or he gets mad. If i go out he has to call me everycouple of hours to see what im doing. Although, he has never spoken to me about his ex-girl NEVER. That topic is off limits. The only thing he has ever mentioned to me is that he truly loved her. I never found out WHY she just up and left. Nothing. So almost 2 yrs have gone by since she left him and till this day he hasn't talked about her, and i know he constantly thinks about her. Well, i was talking to his younger brother one night and his brother told me what had happened. His brother said to me that the girl left him for another guy just like that. Now looking back at this year and half it all makes sense to me. He's not the same guy i knew before he left to mexico, now he's bitter. I know every guy and girl have that one person that ruins it for the rest to come. He himself has told me he doesn't trust girls anymore. I truly care about him. I do just about ANYTHING for him, and i feel like he just doesn't feel the same. What do i have to do to prove him that im not like her??? Am I wasting my time or should i continue to be patient? Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Well hes getting free uncommitted hassle free SEX from you. He is carrying a load of bitterness from a girl in his past. He lead you to believe that you would see eachother but failed to mention he was going to meet / or had met a girl in mexico, whom he fell for and then she left him later at which point he came back to you. Ouch.... He is using you like damaged goods because you let him , free to go anytime he wants when SOMETHING BETTER comes along so you are just like a puppet he pulls out and plays with at his conveinance . Why the heck would you put up with all that ? He LEFT you and went with some girl , now hes back for some good sex and not much more and will leave you at anytime.... Please pull the brakes on this losing affair... Read some of these posts....you will see what I mean...specifically FWB..>Friends with Benefits. You have feelings for him so FWB does not work so well... He is using you BIG TIME. Link to post Share on other sites
oneconfusedgirl Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 END IT! this guy OBVIOUSLY is not ready for a relationship, and you've already wasted 2 yrs of your life with him...don't waste any more! there are so many other guys out there! he's NOT worth it! i know it's hard when you truly care for someone, but he doesn't care about you in that way, and that's not fair to you! stop being so giving and think about your own feelings...because obviously he doesn't... Link to post Share on other sites
SuperFantastico Posted June 19, 2005 Share Posted June 19, 2005 Perhaps he knew you liked him, and needed someone 'easy' to hurt and make feel the pain that she caused him. Congratz, you win the prize. I think you should sit down and have 'the talk' with him. If he wont talk, just walk out and leave him for like a few days. Stay at a friends place. Dont contact him. Basically you gotta make him feel hes really gonna lose you just like his 'love' left him. Its a bit dirty, but sometimes you gotta fight poison with poison. In the end it will be good because, you will have either a) expunge the emotional thorn from him or b) will be able to leave him/heal after a long time and find someone who treats you well. I'm leaning twards a) oh........uh thats assuming he dosnt talk to you about it. *WARNING* this next idea needs some other people to give thier two cents. Tell him you know about what happened with this girl. When he gets all mad at you, remind him that unlike this girl, you love and respect him and would never cheat on him. If that dosnt work, kick him in the nuts.................... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts