Suburb

[40daysforthen253]

I live in a suburb. I get around by walking, uber, and train. I'm using online dating (Tinder, okCupid, Bumble). Most matches are in the city or a different subrub

 

How should I play it if...

(A) If I match with someone in the city

(B) If I match with someone in another suburb

© If I match with someone in my town.

 

My thoughts

(A) if she lives in the city,

I tell her I'll be there the coming weekend. I let her choose venue. is any of this weird? Taking a 35 min train to see her?

(B) if she lives in another suburb

I propose we both meet in the city the coming weekend. difference is that we'd walk around and find a place or perhaps go to an event. Is it weird asking someone I've never met to travel to a city to see me? How much rapport must be built first? A phone call?

© if she lives in my town

I'm thinking I propose we meet downtown on a Fri or Sat. Walk round a bit and find a bar. Maybe bounce to an ice cream place or a park? Perhaps a movie later? Sound good?

 

Lastly, what about cold approach? I'm thinking if she lives in my town..."you looked cute. i wanted to say hi... (minutes letter)... get drinks with me this evening" good? or perhaps, "when do you get off work, lets get drinks then?" Meanwhile, if she lives in the city, I just get her number and ...?

[LAtoChiGuy]

Guy so a woman should probably need to confirm this, but...

 

A) Don't even go after those matches. I'm the opposite, live in the city and the few suburb people were just a nightmare. Before moving to my current city I was in LA and dated someone in the same city but 8 miles away. Nightmare there too.

 

B) If they are in the suburb they probably have a car, so meet somewhere out in the burbs. Going into the city is a hassle for both of you time wise and expensive.

 

C) Ding ding ding

 

Remember, first dates should be on the casual side. Bar trivia, coffee, etc. Why do either of you want to invest in a ton of travel for something that could terrible?

 

Also, when I meet someone online or in person and I set something up, I don't even bother asking where they live. I suggest a place within walking distance of my apartment. Why???

 

1 - low investment for me if the date isn't any fun

2 - if it is heading in the direction of going back to my place, I don't then have to do the awkward "let's grab an uber and go out to the subrubs" which newsflash, unless she lives in the same 'burb, she is never going to go for that on the first date.

 

I realize both of those reasons make me sound shallow but:

case 1 - you'll never see her again

case 2 - I very rarely sleep with someone on the first date even if it is close to my place. Although one time it did lead to a great relationship (until she moved!) so I'm not a believer in relationships being doomed if you sleep together on day one.

 

Lastly, if we keep getting together and she eventually sees my place I have never, ever, had anyone mention "oh wow, we are near where our first date was" so in my opinion, it isn't sleazy to set up the first date near your home.