Mixed feelings

[Adamphan2326]

What sup LS, brand new here and this is my first post. Let me introduce myself, My name is Adam and I decided to join the forum to get many advice and views on my recent break up. Before joining I tried searching for threads similar to my situation but no relationship is the same just like everyone is different in their own ways. I know a lot can relate but every story is different right? Anyways, here is my situation.

 

It has been 2 weeks since my exgirlfriend broke up with me. We dated for 3 years and we did just about everything together that made our relationship felt longer than 3. During the last year of our relationship she didn’t want to have sex with me like she used to, bringing up excuses but yet she still did nice loving things for me. It made no sense and she wouldn’t tell me why. I didn’t know until the day she dumped me she stated “Remember this past December when I asked you if I was to move to California would you move with me?” I quickly told her “No” not because of selfishness but because I have my family here and I want to be with my family and be there for them. She then said “When you told me no I kind of lost hope in our relationship but then I decided I would tried to make it work.”

 

During the 3 year relationship we lived together for 2 years. 2 months prior to the break up she started her new job which is nothing but guys. Her boss literally told her during the interview to not talk to any of the guys outside of work. Well with her being nice and didn’t want any bad vibes at her new job that she can’t afford to lose, she started becoming friends with one of them. I was out running errands this one night, she called me right after and asked me what I was doing. I told her I’m about to pick us up some dinner and that’s when she asked me if she can hang out with this guy from work he needed “relationship advice.” I paused and said , “ohhkayyyy” thinking she would invite me too since she know’s I am hungry. She didn’t invite me and that’s when I told her I don’t feel right about this guy. She never believes or listens to me about certain things that could hurt our relationship so I started acting out and we argued. I admit I shouldn’t have acted out but I was very hungry. They ended up going to Teds which is a pricey place. We argued and she apologized she didn’t invite me. I told her I felt disrespected by him because this guy has a fiancé and he invited you with no regards of her boyfriend. 2 weeks later we found out that he lied to his fiancé saying that he went out with his buddies….I told you so that this guy is a jerk.

 

She started telling me that I am being too controlling that I have to know where she’s going or if she can go hang out or not and that she feels suffocated and she needed space. Not once did I ever stopped her from going out doing things on her own but just let me know, just like I would let you know where I’m at so I don’t worry. 2 weeks prior to the break up she moved back to her granny’s place because she’s getting old and forgetful and I truly support that because there is no one else. We felt sad by it but it was her granny’s best interest so we agreed to make it work. Since then she made no effort, she would go do her own thing. Towards the end I started to feel unfair about what she says because she would always say one thing and then do the complete opposite or something else. There is other things that I left out because I wanted to make this as short as possible.

So here is the post break up situation. This was the longest relationship I have ever been in and she was the only girl I have ever loved for this long. Might as well call it first love. I was a wreck, I didn’t know how to handle the situation, I wasn’t thinking I was just going crazy. I would say things to try to win her back and do a couple of nice. She would stay in contact with me, she would be the first one to text me. After about 4 days I started looking online for any advice and help. One day I decided to do one more nice thing and then go NC. After I did this nice thing she texted me “You alwys do nice things when you don’t need to” “thank you” I tried to ignore her but she sent texts like “Hellooo, are you there? Why are you not responding? Ok youre ignoring me, I wont text you ever again if youre ignoring me” LMAO! I remember doing this once and I got in trouble. WTF right? I told her I was taking a nap.

 

The day before yesterday she sent me a picture of us together smiling. She stated it meant a lot to her and that It’s weird when you are with someone everyday for so long you don’t have to worry about their thoughts or feelings but when you go a week or 2 without them you start to question what they are thinking or what they are feeling. So yesterday she ignored me all day. Which I know she did because she texted my friend while I was with him. She texted me this morning but I have yet to open my phone. I know the answer to this is to stay NC. But what else?

[kztar]

She's feeding you breadcrumbs. Stay NC and keep it moving.

 

Someone else is probably on her radar as it is.