Bakezz Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Hello, Been here a few times, probably seen my posts a few times. Long story short, I split up with my ex 1 year and a half ago or maybe a bit longer I'm not sure, either wait I'm over that and grew from it. But the one thing that stuck with me was not being able to cope without validation. I stayed single for about a year and then had my first semi-serious relationship last October that went on till January and struggled when she pulled away as all I was doing was pulling her in closer and in turn pushing her away. Was able to move on quite quickly when I found someone else to keep me occupied and give me validation, but they turned out to do exactly the same thing(that was only about a month long dating thing, but still struggled when it ended because I didn't want to be lonely) I found someone who I really get on with recently, FaceTime every night, incredible banter with her and we really got on, never got to meet her because we lived about an hour away from each other and she said she gets scared of meeting new people because she's a closed person, etc etc this was after I told her I liked her. Now she's pulling away and I'm glad she is because I can't do this anymore, I only do it because I'm seeking validation. In reality I don't think I like her, it's just because when she's not there to give me attention I panic and come of as needy. I need to change this about myself and need to break it off, but just one problem...........I can't. I don't know why, I just love speaking to her and we get on really well and probably the truth of it is, I'm scared of having no one and being alone, given my job is difficult because of the stuff I see and wanted someone to chat to about it. I'm not an ******* either and seem to be a 'people pleaser' so can't seem to break it off for no reason. This is why I'm back on here. I posted here a few times and I got replies which were not what I wanted to hear. But they were hard truths and in reality it's exactly what I NEEDED to hear. So please, fire away, any advice, blunt or not, I'm all ears. Link to post Share on other sites
Marco Valerio Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 You said it. People are gonna tell you the truth, you like it or not. I would recommend no dating at all, you are not in the right spot. First you have to learn to value and love yourself, without anyone's help. Search for friends, but nothing else. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 8, 2016 Share Posted April 8, 2016 Rely on friends and family. Take a break from dating and be on your own. Grow, learn, rid of bad habits picked up from previous relationships. It's unhealthy to bounce from R to R without time in between. Work on you, embrace being single, be happy and then when you're ready a healthier relationship can happen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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