Lost from lack of communication and other things

[Kimba1366]

Quick run down. We were together for about 5 1/2 years (me 49 Now) (her 48). had bought 2 houses together. Officially lost her the first time after we sold the last house. she moved to Kentucky I stay Michigan.

 

decided to try a LDR seemed ok although I didn't change much and we ended up breaking again the 20th of march. I was devastated. But I had not changed we didn't communicate like we should have. basically all our problems were 80-85% my fault. Didn't know about the 30 NC rule. Had some questions asked in a pre-retirement class I was taking that hit home hard. Changed my way of think about our relationship totally.

 

Drove down to Kentucky, I needed to talk face to face to explain my new outlook on life. didn't know if she would even talk to me let a lone seen me face to face and talk. It was probably the most honest and best conversation about our relationship we had ever had. talked for over 2 hours. I told her I wanted to get back together. She said she had a hard time beleiving someone could change that much in 2 days.

 

The next day she picked me up we had breakfast with her daughter (26) then when to her house worked on reinforcing a fence, rested took a short nap. chit chatted. and she dropped me off back at the hotel I was staying at. She said there was no way she would make a decision that weekend and we would talk by the end of the week. texted back and for the 28th she said lets just go slow and see what happens. She still did believe me about my change of attitude and heart.

 

texted again the 29th with some serious discussion about some things that went on. texted the 1st again mention planing a weekend for me to come down discussed thing we had going over the next few weekends. (I have a sister that is divorcing and moving, Helping move her was one weekend I needed to scheduled around)We talked a little chit chat talking the 31st and I didn't know what to think she called me so at least I knew she was thinking about it.

 

I got another call the 2nd of April Inviting me down for the weekend of the 23-24 for the thunder over Louisville Fest. We talked for 2 hours, I was happy there was a chance again. Texted about her day the 5th and she seemed distant. Said she was just tired ( she works very long days 10-12 hours and still get calls at home all the time.)

 

Now I am freaking out again thinking she is have second thoughts. still a long way from the weekend of the 23rd. I do not want to push to much or try to move to fast but I also do not want to loss her by not doing anything or appearing to be not interested (one past mistake of many.) I love this woman and think we can have a great future together. Its driving me nuts. I see people complaining the SO live 45 mins away try 7- 7 1/2 hours. I would do it in a heartbeat and have just to talk face to face.

Edited April 29, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
paragraphs ~6

[basil67]

You say that you could have a great future together. So let's say that she decides to give it another chance. What plans would the two of you have for living near each other?

[Kimba1366]

I left out a lot of details. I have 5 year before I can retire. If things go good I would move in with her where ever she was located. This was the plan before the breakup. Another thing she doubted me on. said I would find an excuse not to move in with her. I had signed up for the pre-retirement classes a few months before this happen to get my 401K (I also have a vested retirement) and other things in better shape before the 5 years was up. I have a good job, one I cant just move with 90K+ a year. I finished my college education off 25+ years ago. She also has a good job paying around the same amount but in her profession she can move around to different company's, but is just starting her career. has a lot of student loan dept and owes on a recently purchased house. So is in no shape to retire any time soon. I never planned on living where I currently do after I retired anyway.

Edited April 6, 2016 by Kimba1366