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normal person

By normal person,
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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

Posted
Posted
Which guy from last year is this may I ask.

 

Wait I think I remember the guy you are talking about. The one you told about maybe dating after the New Year. No, instead, the ball is in your court. You were the one to break it off, if you want to see him again, you need to put on your Big Girl Pants and reach out.

 

I say this with no malice, but it sounds to me that you are starting 2018 resorting to your old patterns. You will not reach out to this guy and try to put your actions right because of your extreme self-protective tendencies. (OR maybe instead you feel that you shouldn't have to, because you think being a female means Fate or someone else is supposed to do all the work for you?? Not sure probably a bit of both) If your anxiety is this crippling, then maybe you shouldn't be dating in the first place. Part of being a good partner is being aware enough to know when you screwed up and strong enough to own up to it, and you don't seem to be there right now.

 

You're right about that...I thought I changed drastically, but in reality I just forgot what I'm like. It was too optimistic of me to have thought I changed. A person doesn't miraculously change with no new experiences and only a little introspection. I had just removed myself from dating so and was able to look at objectively, but dove back in, I'm singing the same tune...

 

 

I don't know if I want to go out with anyone else but this guy! Now I am OBSESSED again. My only immediate goal in returning to the app was matching with this man again. Now that that's been taken off the table, I don't see the need to be here.

 

It's too weird to reach out to him...He could be married now. I don't know anything about him anyway. We went on two dates. I don't know if it quialifies as good dates. Iirc I don't even think he was that interested in me when we dated. We hung out at his house and we kissed but he's not trying to make 1 move on me at all the whole time besides touching my hands. Doesn't sound like a really interested heterosexual guy to me.

 

Even with that knowledge, I'd still go out with him again. I'd be down for platonics friends who kissed and he play with my hands if he wants. But no, he's not interested in that. Not interested in anything with me anymore. I think deep down I'm worried I won't be able to be interested in anyone else again. He had a really cool personality and that very basic looking guy attractiveness I'm into.

 

Thanks for your insight. I am still anxious but I don't know how to fix it or if it even can be fixed. I spent a year obsessed with male pattern baldness for reasons I'll never truly understand.

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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

Posted
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Ahh yessaa. this is the biggie isn't it.

lt seems pretty easy to meet people on them but if there's someone you really wanna meet, do they like ya back ?

 

l used some tricks on mine to get her attention, l wasn't sure if she even saw me.

But it worked and after about 3 days of trying to get her attention , she found me or something, not sure , but she liked me back in the end and we've been talking and and met a few times since.

 

Tbh ,l don't think it's gonna get anywhere, but at least l got to meet her and find out.

 

lf he doesn't see ya , or seem to notice , try a few subtle tricks.

On mine there's a few little things you can do to boost the odds.

 

Good luck.

 

Thanks, what tricks did you use? I can't see his profile so I don't even know if he's on there. I am using Tinder where it only shows you people at random or if they swiped you. I have Tinder gold which shows a list of people who swiped right on you. For all I know he's probably already swiped left lol

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Chilli

Chilli

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The other biggie for me is actually finding someone l would really , really , like to meet.

 

l've talked to a few nice ladies yeah, same as last time, but finding "that one' ,is the real thing isn't it.

Ha , and then getting them to notice ya or like you back,so that we can actually talk .

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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

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Posted (edited)

^ Very true. Hard to find someone with that certain ~something~

 

oh hey I just thought of an angle I have. He added me to insta awhile ago and I never added him back(its private and I'm super selective about who I add). I can do that now and say hello??

 

No..that's still too weird...

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Imajerk17

Imajerk17

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You're right about that...I thought I changed drastically, but in reality I just forgot what I'm like. It was too optimistic of me to have thought I changed. A person doesn't miraculously change with no new experiences and only a little introspection. I had just removed myself from dating so and was able to look at objectively, but dove back in, I'm singing the same tune...

 

 

I don't know if I want to go out with anyone else but this guy! Now I am OBSESSED again. My only immediate goal in returning to the app was matching with this man again. Now that that's been taken off the table, I don't see the need to be here.

 

It's too weird to reach out to him...He could be married now. I don't know anything about him anyway. We went on two dates. I don't know if it quialifies as good dates. Iirc I don't even think he was that interested in me when we dated. We hung out at his house and we kissed but he's not trying to make 1 move on me at all the whole time besides touching my hands. Doesn't sound like a really interested heterosexual guy to me.

 

Even with that knowledge, I'd still go out with him again. I'd be down for platonics friends who kissed and he play with my hands if he wants. But no, he's not interested in that. Not interested in anything with me anymore. I think deep down I'm worried I won't be able to be interested in anyone else again. He had a really cool personality and that very basic looking guy attractiveness I'm into.

 

Thanks for your insight. I am still anxious but I don't know how to fix it or if it even can be fixed. I spent a year obsessed with male pattern baldness for reasons I'll never truly understand.

 

 

The way you change in general is by scrapping up the courage to act differently even when it feels daunting. For example, for most people trying to get back in shape, they will themselves to go to the gym even those times when an evening curled on the couch eating ice-cream sounds much more appealing. They don't just sit around and wait for the inspiration to suddenly occur to them.

 

In your case, scrapping up the courage would be you sending him that message saying that if he wants to meet up, then you are back, and if not, then Happy New Year.

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Chilli

Chilli

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Thanks, what tricks did you use? I can't see his profile so I don't even know if he's on there. I am using Tinder where it only shows you people at random or if they swiped you. I have Tinder gold which shows a list of people who swiped right on you. For all I know he's probably already swiped left lol

 

 

Yeah right , dunno nothin about tinder , mines just a normal date site.

 

But anyway , l think the one that really did it was that when you've liked someone , a little box pops up when they're online.

So if l got the pop up , l went to her page and sat there,

When you do that , they get a pop up to say your looking at their page.

 

That was the main trick , l did that for 3 nights in row , probably drove her crazy haha, but she liked me back in the end.

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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

Posted
Posted (edited)
The way you change in general is by scrapping up the courage to act differently even when it feels daunting. For example, for most people trying to get back in shape, they will themselves to go to the gym even those times when an evening curled on the couch eating ice-cream sounds much more appealing. They don't just sit around and wait for the inspiration to suddenly occur to them.

 

In your case, scrapping up the courage would be you sending him that message saying that if he wants to meet up, then you are back, and if not, then Happy New Year.

You don’t think it’s creepy? Going to the gym to get back in shape is socially acceptable. I’m not sure if this is. This is just painful.

 

I have oneitis

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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

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I think my ex got his now-BFF to spy on me by trying to match me on tinder. That or his now BFF is trying to get at me. What a sad world

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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

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And I just got batched out by a guy I blocked in my weaker moments

 

“[...]I think you blocked me before on your phone, which was confusing. You know, I don't care. I'd still be down to date, though who knows how you feel or what you want. But you shouldn't do that to people, even if you're not feeling them. It's not cool!”

 

Well I know that. You’re the only one here with the misconception I’m cool

——-

 

On another note I see this tinder profile and this guy has his profile set up like a PowerPoint slide, with pics and captions. A slide titled “the pros and cons of dating me.” Interesting

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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

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No guy on list...the guy is such an unbelievable jerk for not liking me anymore...Can you believe the nerve on this one? He'll rue this one day, I guarantee you that.

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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

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I mean, come on! He wasn't even interested enough to sleep with me first? I thought we had an understanding. How lame. Whatever. Don't want a guy like that anyway. So I have 2 new dates set up now. These guys seem cool enough, but I've been out of the game so long I am nervous. I guess we shall see.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

CautiouslyOptimistic

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No guy on list...the guy is such an unbelievable jerk for not liking me anymore...Can you believe the nerve on this one? He'll rue this one day, I guarantee you that.

 

:lmao::lmao:

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CautiouslyOptimistic

CautiouslyOptimistic

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I'm completely lost as to what is going on!

 

Cookies is just being a little punchy! ;)

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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

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I talked to a guy who is really really my type tonight. Really on point. One of my more promising prospects so I am excited about it

Edited by Cookiesandough
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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

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I've slept 6 hours in 2 days and I have a date tomorrow. I feel suffocated like I'm trapped in a pincer attack. No, this is all my doing. I feel like going back to OLD has been the worst decision I made this year.

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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

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lol that's actually a great plan for me, chili. But I still have a lot of hope for you. Just a matter of time

 

 

 

I don't know if I want to go out with anyone else but this guy! Now I am OBSESSED again. My only immediate goal in returning to the app was matching with this man again. Now that that's been taken off the table, I don't see the need to be here.

 

Gah. I'm looking at the selfie this guy sent me after I asked him to send me one ...:love: He is so dreamy. He's seriously DREAMY. I wish I hadn't blocked him after that. I do regret that. I wish there was a way to go back in time with him again but I muck everything up...A girl can dream

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Shanex

Shanex

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I've slept 6 hours in 2 days and I have a date tomorrow. I feel suffocated like I'm trapped in a pincer attack. No, this is all my doing. I feel like going back to OLD has been the worst decision I made this year.

 

Cookies, you are a gorgeous young gal, and pretty clever at that. Why should you give up? Have a better sleep. Try to chill.. I have seen your pic when you used them as avatar but don't know your age. I assume you are in your 20s?

 

Frankly. All men should be at your feet. Filter guys is normal because you are probably a lot in demand.

 

That's the bummer with being super pretty like you. Guys want sex. Find the guy who wants to stay with you, and be interested in you.

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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

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Ty for such kind words. I believe I have seen you and like your posts too and would like to return the compliments!!! Also glad to hear your last date went so well :)

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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

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So many hot guys on Tinder...So many...So hot..But I can't date...This is torture. It's like being at a bakery on keto diet it.

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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

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Okay so I have relapsed and have date set up for Wednesday and and a date set up Saturday. I also am still in contact with this guy http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/599191-online-date-he-didn-t-text

 

We never got out of contact and he never seems to leave me alone. He keeps seeing me on the sites and acting like we're friends. We had a horrible date over a year ago and then again last fall I tried...But I am not interested in him. Plus he keeps doing last minute, like Thursday night he will ask if I have any free time on the weekend and I think that's rude.

 

So I blocked him.

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Cookiesandough

Cookiesandough

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I'm laying claim to this thread. I'm sticking in my flag and setting up camp here.

 

I don't know if I want to go out with anyone else but this guy! Now I am OBSESSED again. My only immediate goal in returning to the app was matching with this man again. Now that that's been taken off the table, I don't see the need to be here.

 

Still with this guy :( I reached out to...then I blocked and deleted. I feel so sad. I don't want to see other guys, as hot as they might be. Doesn't matter to me. This one is the one I want. I legit had a dream about him. It's crazy. We were in some kind of war zone with nuclear silos all around and bombs going off. We found shelter and kissed. Then I woke up. I am actually really sad. I don't know why I am so sad over this guy. I guess I really felt a connect. :'( I haven't feened for someone this much since my ex. It's so lame. It was a couple dates. I can't get over this. Why should I date when no guy compares. I still don't get how he could be so cruel to swipe left on me. He's still trying to follow me on insta. I could accept but that would be weird

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GemmaUK

GemmaUK

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I'm laying claim to this thread. I'm sticking in my flag and setting up camp here.

 

 

 

Still with this guy :( I reached out to...then I blocked and deleted. I feel so sad. I don't want to see other guys, as hot as they might be. Doesn't matter to me. This one is the one I want. I legit had a dream about him. It's crazy. We were in some kind of war zone with nuclear silos all around and bombs going off. We found shelter and kissed. Then I woke up. I am actually really sad. I don't know why I am so sad over this guy. I guess I really felt a connect. :'( I haven't feened for someone this much since my ex. It's so lame. It was a couple dates. I can't get over this. Why should I date when no guy compares. I still don't get how he could be so cruel to swipe left on me. He's still trying to follow me on insta. I could accept but that would be weird

 

I'm confused.

Is this the guy you dropped over Xmas then picked up and dropped again?

 

Have you blocked him again or something?

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