How do you know what to believe?

[Doublegold]

Enough with the bashing its a wonder any man posts on this forum.

[MidnightBlue1980]

Enough with the bashing its a wonder any man posts on this forum.

 

Yeah. Men are people too. I have male friends and I have a son (granted he is 5 but still). People hurt each other. I have guy friends whose wives have destroyed them. Abused, cheated, hit, made them feel worthless, I've seen them cry.

 

Terrible people come in both genders.

 

That being said, you are both in an affair. I'm not sure why you are so shocked. Men are better at compartmentalizing. He probably does love his wife - however you cannot believe everything you see on Facebook. Why are you even friends? That is a mistake. I am sure you take pictures with your husband.

 

I'm not judging you. I felt the same. The pictures killed me. I lasted 5 months in the affair till I made him choose. To answer your question, assume you are the rule not the exception. And the rule is, you lose. The wife wins. But it's okay. You will be fine and its better this way. It really is.

[Marc878]

He's lying and cheating on his wife who he has children with.

 

Why would he not lie to you?

 

That's how it's done. It's the same senario in just about every affair. Yours is not unique.

 

If you read thru a few threads on this forum it's like a broken record.

 

This is pretty much standard.

[Bufo]

Don't be upset DoubleGold. I am a man. And I've known a few men who have been affairs. Lying becomes second nature to some. I'm not bashing men but merely reporting my observations over many years.

[EMT girl]

He took vows with his wife. Pretty much the biggest promise of his life. He's breaking that promise. You did the same.

 

I am constantly amazed at OW and OM that are surprised that their MM or MW lies. It's what the whole relationship that you're in is based on.

 

Of course he's sleeping with her. He's married to her. He's got two women who want to have sex with him. Bonus! He's living a dream.

[notthechosen1]

I couldn't hold back and confronted him with some questions yesterday after work. We talked for a bit outside by my car. He was in a good mood and we were just talking about stupid work stuff. And then I asked him... "are you and your wife still sleeping in separate rooms?"... he stopped smiling and kind of flinched like wth am I asking this for. He didn't answer, kept looking around and then said, well of course. Why do you ask this? I kept on... so you and her are heading for divorce? he squinted his eyes again. he didn't answer just looked at me with a weird look and asked me again, why i'm asking these things.

it was at that moment, it hit me. Omg he's totally bull****ting me right now.

I got livid!!! but tried to not let it show. I kind of pushed him back and said I had to go and he just kept giving me this look and then asked why I was acting this way and wouldn't let me go. I told him I saw his wifes fb and they sure do look like a happy lovey dovey couple and she looks greater than he said she did. I went in this long spill about her and him and went off on him. After I was done I looked like a psycho bc he was just standing there looking at me like i'm crazy. I pushed him back and left. He didn't say one word!

When I got home I felt like a huge ass so I sent him an email apologizing.

I've yet to hear back from him. I saw him this morning and he just looked at me and then started talking to someone else. Seriously?

Every morning and all day long we email and message each other all these sweet, often sexy, but usually just chit chat messages. Today? NOTHING.

I just sent him an email asking him to please just talk to me and again apologizing about yesterday.

 

He wrote back just now and asked if we could talk after work. So we will see what he has to say.

 

I think he wants to end it. After reading all the other posts on here my MM is acting the way the MMs act when they are trying to end it. Our contact in the last month has been minimal, the messages haven't been as much and they seem like they are getting "routine". I've also noticed he's been taking his first break at a time I can't and is usually on the phone the whole time. omg. prob to her. his wife.

 

I feel stupid now. I bet he was going to end it anyways and here I am acting all pscyho. His distance the last few weeks is what made me start looking for his wife and check her out. I've had temptations to email her on there, but I wont. as crappy as this sounds I don't want to ruin what I have with him!

 

and I know everyone says their story is different, but I truly felt and believe that MM and I are meant to be together. The chemistry and the spark we feel when we are near each other is off the charts. and he told me that I make him feel like nobody else ever has. I still believe him.

gotta get back to work for now. Thank you all to who replied.

[Marc878]

Ignoring the facts and being in denial won't change anything. []

Like most you just don't or won't get it. Reread your posts and pretend it's your friend. If she asked you what you thought what would you tell her.

Edited April 8, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Berating language removed and member moderated

[Liam1]

Notthechosen1:

 

I have not read the other posts.

 

Still, the fact that he knows his wife has a facebook page and he still lied to you about her looks and their relationship, tells me this guy has a screw loose somewhere. Or, has amazing denial skills.

 

He had to realize you would get curious and try to see if he had a Facebook page. Neither my wife nor I do due to privacy concerns.

 

I know my FOW, tried to look up my wife on Facebook and was annoyed that she did not have a Facebook page to find.

 

She did this after asking what my wife looked like and I responded that she was very attractive and told her that I did not want to discuss my wife while with her.

 

Another red flag is that the MM made "such a big deal about how honest he was".

 

I mean, seriously, unless you asked him if he was honest, who does this on a date?

 

Who has an affair and than goes out of their way to make a point of talking about honesty, out of context to the situation, to the affair partner.

 

It's kinda' like someone that goes around telling everyone how happy they are. Happy people are JUST happy. It shows, too. So they don't need to go around crowing about how happy they are all the time.

 

How do you know if a MM is telling you the truth. I don't have the answer.

 

Some MM looking for affairs do tell the truth. Others lie.

 

 

Hi, new here. Have been lurking for awhile and it has been helpful. Maybe to helpful as I feel like the more I learn the more I feel stupid.

 

I'm involved with a MM who I work with. It's been going on for almost a year now. We are both married. He has kids, I don't. We have both been in our marriages for a long time.

 

I'm just curious... How do you know what to believe from the MM?

 

I had thought MM and I were pretty open and honest with each other despite what we are doing. In fact he made such a big deal about how honest he was with me!

 

However my recent creeping around is starting to show me he has lied to me, and more than once.

 

I can't believe i'm saying this- but i'm devasted. totally devastated and heartbroken knowing hes lying or bull****ting me.

One- he told me such awful things about his wife. not really awful, just led me to believe they were getting divorced, marriage was over, she was worthless with the kids, housekeeping, was cold towards him, didn't give him affection, love, was sleeping in the other room for months now... etc etc.

and then once made a comment about her looks on how she has "let herself go" since the last baby and is somewhat depressed bc she never takes care of herself anymore. He seemed disgusted by this and then looked at me and made some comment about how i have it all together, dress nice every day, and he is so attracted to that. He just kept looking me up and down saying he loves how i have it all together. This actually made me feel bad for his wife bc she is taking care of kids all day and i don't even have any.

So I believed all that... it seems to be quite common from what I've read on here. However; I came across her FB recently and I now I wish I hadn't... it told another story! um one... she is stunning, i don't see how she "let herself go". Which makes me want to barf. I instantly feel like i'm now competing with her and have been looking myself over and over now. She has pics of them all over her page. Talking about how loving he is, how great he is to her and the kids.. how HAPPY he makes her. How they have plans for the future. WHAT?! future?? Then I see the comments from her family members talking about how great of a husband he is to her and how he loves her SO MUCH. WHAT??! I thought they were divorcing.... and I thought I was the one who lit his fire so to speak. But nope, there they are together... him holding his wife so tightly arms around her and they are both smiling and look SO HAPPY! this was a week ago.... a week ago when he said they were still sleeping in separate rooms. But these pics... of him and her. OMG he is grabbing on her, loving on her and vice versa. She doesn't seem so cold in those pics.

 

I'm so confused. Sorry for the long rambling post. What do I do??

 

Should I confront him?

 

If he lies about his wife, what else could he be lying about?? Is he lying when he says i'm the best Everything to him? Am I the one who really makes him feel so good like he says? iS it me who he thinks of when he wakes up and goes to bed... like he says?

 

He told me she was sleeping in the kids room for months now as they are about to go through divorce. Also claiming they have not been intimate in months now! Now i'm wondering if they are even sleeping in separate rooms? What if they are being intimate??? I know i can't get upset but i am.

Again sorry for long post.

[elaine567]

I confronted and now hes acting weird

I couldn't hold back and confronted him with some questions yesterday after work. We talked for a bit outside by my car. He was in a good mood and we were just talking about stupid work stuff. And then I asked him... "are you and your wife still sleeping in separate rooms?"... he stopped smiling and kind of flinched like wth am I asking this for. He didn't answer, kept looking around and then said, well of course. Why do you ask this? I kept on... so you and her are heading for divorce? he squinted his eyes again. he didn't answer just looked at me with a weird look and asked me again, why i'm asking these things.

 

The chemistry and the spark we feel when we are near each other is off the charts. and he told me that I make him feel like nobody else ever has. I still believe him

 

He stopped communicating when you confronted him because the last thing he needs is an OW that doesn't play the game, who questions what he tells her, who doesn't meekly follow his "rules".

He tells you his wife is a mess, his wife is therefore a mess, do not rake about on FB, accept what he tells you...

 

YOU were in control there for a second but you ruined it up by pleading, please, please, please make it not true, I believe you, I believe you I believe you... Sorry, sorry, sorry...

He knows he now has you where he wants you.

Stop apologising, HE is the one lying through his teeth here, but he has now turned it round to YOU being a psycho...

[Liam1]

that all men lie

 

but everyone lies

 

Excellent point.

 

All humans lie.

 

Anyone who says they don't lie, is lying to themselves.

 

It does not matter if it is a small lie or a large lie. A lie is a lie.

 

All people lie about something.

 

IMO, if you start from that premise, you can trust but verify.

[privategal]

He is punishing you now.

All he wants you to do is stay in your lane, believe him, feed his ego and dont act up.

So classic.

His power now is silence until you decide if you will now settle for less and dont question him again.

I STILL say you have the upper hand.

If he doesnt break it off YOU do it.

You saw the proof...they are in love, the family loves him blah blah.

Im so sorry weve all read this SAME story 100 times here.

The bubble has been burst, you hit him with reality...it was easier for him when he had you wrapped around his finger.

If he doesnt end it, I predict he will play dumb, or tortured....fb is all an act, Im so trapped, I dont know what to do, she wont let me go but I cant lose you, this is so hard...maybe I shouls walk away...tgis will mean he will leave the ball in YOUR court to end it so he doesnt have to feel guilty or look like the bad guy...END IT, ruuunnnn. Be VERY strong...expect a TON of BS. Dont trust ONE word...hes scheming right now.

Unless he looks you in the eye and says...you are right..I lied...RUN.

You got this...no tears. Say nothing...LISTEN. Let him feed you the story...dont cry.

[sandylee1]

What exactly were you apologising for?

 

For finding out he lied to you?

 

Is it just a matter of trying to keep making each other feel good or do you have an end game with this A...... because you know he's not getting divorced right?

 

I often read here how the BS posts 'Happy pictures' on FB .... and it's all fake. Have you ever thought the pictures are posted because the BS IS ACTUALLY HAPPY at that point in time?

 

If she has no idea her husband is cheating why wouldn't she be happy with the life she has.

 

It may be said to give OM/OW some comfort that it's all fake .... but its not necessarily fake to the person posting. When the couple have regular sex, go on vacation, socialise, enjoy family time and run their home with no major bust ups.. is it any suprise she thinks they are happy?

[heartwhole]

Hello, notthechosenone.

 

I'm sure he meant it when he said no one else has ever made him feel the way you do, but that's a pretty generic thing to say, isn't it? Every relationship makes you feel different. So he's not technically lying, perhaps, but that doesn't mean you take it to the bank that he wants to leave his marriage for you. And as you're figuring out, there doesn't seem to be much chance of that.

 

I know that you are upset and are afraid of "ruining your chances with him," but my advice would be to take deep breaths and be as grounded as possible. Now that the fun of the affair is over and you seem to be an emotional liability, it is likely that he's just looking to minimize the damage and the chances that he'll get caught. You need to accept that so that you don't keep chasing a man who's running away from you. The BEST thing you can do when you talk to him tonight is cut him off and say, "I believed you when you said you were getting a divorce, but that was clearly a mistake. I'm not going to be anyone's dirty secret. If you're ever single, give me a call. But you know what? It'll probably be too late. I'll have moved on by then." And then waltz out of there before he can give you his "it's not you it's me" speech. At least if you're going to get dumped anyway, you can take the control and hold your head high.

 

And then, once it's done, you hunker down for some self-analysis and self-care. Get into counseling. Do some reading about why people get into affairs. Figure out how you got to this place. Mourn the relationship you thought you had. Accept what it turned out it really was instead.

 

My husband had an affair with an OW who vowed never to give up on him. Well, that's not how I felt about him! I said, ew, WTF? Who are you? How can you be good enough for me now? You should just go be with her! .... But he didn't. I didn't respond that way to win a game; I responded that way because I value myself and I know how I deserve to be treated. But the psychology adds up. If you have one woman holding her head high and saying, "I don't think you're good enough for me, bud," and another woman apologizing for calling him out on lying and being willing to put up with anything as long as he doesn't leave her, he will usually choose the one with her head held high. And if he doesn't, at least you have your self-respect and can go find someone who doesn't lie and cheat. Because he's no prize, believe me.

[Liam1]

but I truly felt and believe that MM and I are meant to be together. The chemistry and the spark we feel when we are near each other is off the charts. and he told me that I make him feel like nobody else ever has. I still believe him.

.

 

The thing is that you are married, he is married and you two are in an affair, not a relationship that leads to love and marriage.

 

As others have mentioned men compartmentalize better. Women, even when they say or think they can, really in my experience do not seem to be able to do that.

 

For most men, there is Lovemaking and there is sex. The two do not need to overlap for a majority of men

 

If you are unhappy in your marriage, you will NOT find the love of your life by dating while married.

 

If you are dating while married you are having an affair. Period.

 

You say he is leading you on, but maybe he feels you led him on, maybe he stupidly assumed that you understood that an affair is meant to be a fantasy life, even though he never voiced this to you.

 

Seriously, it should be obvious that an affair is typically just an affair. If that somehow changes, maybe that will be amazing. It is not however something an affair partner should hope for or count on.

 

I was perfectly clear with my FOW. It was discussed ad nauseum that the situation was ONLY an affair.

 

In my case, my FOW, was the aggressor. She was very aggressive. She aggressively initiated the affair and insisted she ONLY wanted an affair.

 

Then, to my horror, after about a month things changed.

 

She started asking questions about my wife whom I refused to discuss. That would make her angry, so she stalked my wife to find out what she looked like.

 

The FOW was dismayed when she saw she was beautiful.

 

Thereafter, she tried to push me to discuss her. I continually refused and that caused her to became ever more competitive toward my wife. She wanted to know "what my wife had that she did not have."

 

I told her it was not a competition, and refused to discuss my wife. She became enraged.

 

I knew, at that point, that she was never looking for just an affair. I ended it, immediately

 

Apparently, she was hoping to divorce her husband, but only if I was willing to marry her. She actually told me that.

 

The entire situation became surreal.

 

My point is, and I actually do have one, is that no matter how much a woman claims they JUST want an affair. ...the MAJORITY do not. Perhaps most women can not. Perhaps it is not in their DNA.

 

Then, too, perhaps it's just not the cut of their Jib, genetically.

 

A majority of men, however, can have sex, without making love.

 

Like I said. All human's lie. Men lie. Women lie. People lie.

Edited April 7, 2016 by Liam1

[Eighty_nine]

You had nothing to apologize for. Respect yourself enough to know that you have a right to be angry at him.

[privategal]

Interesting the OP in her posts seems to have no regard or remorse for her own husband who she is cheating on. Maybe this is a case where her and the MM kind of deserve each other

Thats really an assumption that she has no regard for her husband and really does her no good for you to state that. She wasnt writing about her husband or marriage or morality advice, she was writing about the interraction between her and her AP.

The morality and right or wrong is a given and understood on these boards, in this case its off topic.

[ladydesigner]

I couldn't hold back and confronted him with some questions yesterday after work. We talked for a bit outside by my car. He was in a good mood and we were just talking about stupid work stuff. And then I asked him... "are you and your wife still sleeping in separate rooms?"... he stopped smiling and kind of flinched like wth am I asking this for. He didn't answer, kept looking around and then said, well of course. Why do you ask this? I kept on... so you and her are heading for divorce? he squinted his eyes again. he didn't answer just looked at me with a weird look and asked me again, why i'm asking these things.

it was at that moment, it hit me. Omg he's totally bull****ting me right now.

I got livid!!! but tried to not let it show. I kind of pushed him back and said I had to go and he just kept giving me this look and then asked why I was acting this way and wouldn't let me go. I told him I saw his wifes fb and they sure do look like a happy lovey dovey couple and she looks greater than he said she did. I went in this long spill about her and him and went off on him. After I was done I looked like a psycho bc he was just standing there looking at me like i'm crazy. I pushed him back and left. He didn't say one word!

When I got home I felt like a huge ass so I sent him an email apologizing.

I've yet to hear back from him. I saw him this morning and he just looked at me and then started talking to someone else. Seriously?

Every morning and all day long we email and message each other all these sweet, often sexy, but usually just chit chat messages. Today? NOTHING.

I just sent him an email asking him to please just talk to me and again apologizing about yesterday.

 

He wrote back just now and asked if we could talk after work. So we will see what he has to say.

 

I think he wants to end it. After reading all the other posts on here my MM is acting the way the MMs act when they are trying to end it. Our contact in the last month has been minimal, the messages haven't been as much and they seem like they are getting "routine". I've also noticed he's been taking his first break at a time I can't and is usually on the phone the whole time. omg. prob to her. his wife.

 

I feel stupid now. I bet he was going to end it anyways and here I am acting all pscyho. His distance the last few weeks is what made me start looking for his wife and check her out. I've had temptations to email her on there, but I wont. as crappy as this sounds I don't want to ruin what I have with him!

 

and I know everyone says their story is different, but I truly felt and believe that MM and I are meant to be together. The chemistry and the spark we feel when we are near each other is off the charts. and he told me that I make him feel like nobody else ever has. I still believe him.

gotta get back to work for now. Thank you all to who replied.

 

I think most OW (not the one's who are happy in their position) should ask their MM these questions and really study their reactions. It would be more telling of the situation than not. Smart of you OP to do this!

[Babsinhealing]

Hi, new here. Have been lurking for awhile and it has been helpful. Maybe to helpful as I feel like the more I learn the more I feel stupid.

 

I'm involved with a MM who I work with. It's been going on for almost a year now. We are both married. He has kids, I don't. We have both been in our marriages for a long time.

 

I'm just curious... How do you know what to believe from the MM?

 

I had thought MM and I were pretty open and honest with each other despite what we are doing. In fact he made such a big deal about how honest he was with me!

 

However my recent creeping around is starting to show me he has lied to me, and more than once.

 

I can't believe i'm saying this- but i'm devasted. totally devastated and heartbroken knowing hes lying or bull****ting me.

One- he told me such awful things about his wife. not really awful, just led me to believe they were getting divorced, marriage was over, she was worthless with the kids, housekeeping, was cold towards him, didn't give him affection, love, was sleeping in the other room for months now... etc etc.

and then once made a comment about her looks on how she has "let herself go" since the last baby and is somewhat depressed bc she never takes care of herself anymore. He seemed disgusted by this and then looked at me and made some comment about how i have it all together, dress nice every day, and he is so attracted to that. He just kept looking me up and down saying he loves how i have it all together. This actually made me feel bad for his wife bc she is taking care of kids all day and i don't even have any.

So I believed all that... it seems to be quite common from what I've read on here. However; I came across her FB recently and I now I wish I hadn't... it told another story! um one... she is stunning, i don't see how she "let herself go". Which makes me want to barf. I instantly feel like i'm now competing with her and have been looking myself over and over now. She has pics of them all over her page. Talking about how loving he is, how great he is to her and the kids.. how HAPPY he makes her. How they have plans for the future. WHAT?! future?? Then I see the comments from her family members talking about how great of a husband he is to her and how he loves her SO MUCH. WHAT??! I thought they were divorcing.... and I thought I was the one who lit his fire so to speak. But nope, there they are together... him holding his wife so tightly arms around her and they are both smiling and look SO HAPPY! this was a week ago.... a week ago when he said they were still sleeping in separate rooms. But these pics... of him and her. OMG he is grabbing on her, loving on her and vice versa. She doesn't seem so cold in those pics.

 

I'm so confused. Sorry for the long rambling post. What do I do??

 

Should I confront him?

 

If he lies about his wife, what else could he be lying about?? Is he lying when he says i'm the best Everything to him? Am I the one who really makes him feel so good like he says? iS it me who he thinks of when he wakes up and goes to bed... like he says?

 

He told me she was sleeping in the kids room for months now as they are about to go through divorce. Also claiming they have not been intimate in months now! Now i'm wondering if they are even sleeping in separate rooms? What if they are being intimate??? I know i can't get upset but i am.

Again sorry for long post.

Notthechosen1- I didn't read the other comments but I wanted to share my opinion on your situation. Regardless of the relationship... Affair, Marriage, engagement, dating- the OP needs to give of themselves and go out on a limb with trust. It's the choice we make when we "sign up" for this. You hold on to that trust until someone breaks it. For me in my relationships- I listen, I observe, I take mental notes and if they don't align with what he says- the trust is gone and I may forgive but I don't forget. ive been in an A for 2 years and I have not once "caught" him in a lie. That doesn't mean he doesn't not lie to me, after all we ALL lie, but there hasn't been a time where he said something that didn't align so for now, I trust him. That can change any day of course.

 

Only you can determine this... Sounds like your MM has been telling you what you want to hear vs being honest. The question is- is that a deal breaker?

[Lobouspo]

Thats really an assumption that she has no regard for her husband and really does her no good for you to state that. She wasnt writing about her husband or marriage or morality advice, she was writing about the interraction between her and her AP.

The morality and right or wrong is a given and understood on these boards, in this case its off topic.

 

OP brought up the point that she doesn't understand and is surprised by the MM's lack of truthfulness, so this ties into the general nature of extramarital affairs that myself and others have brought up on this thread. Being they are inherently deceitful and untruthful to begin with. Was not giving moral advice. I just pointed out that she didn't mention her BS in any of this, because its a relevant dynamic. That is, the relationship is distorted from the beginning in these situations because they are based on deceit and dishonesty. I wasn't judging, but was merely pointing out that both of them have this commonality, that is lying and potentially hurting both BS's because of the ongoing nature of the affair. I was merely pointing out that these type of people tend to be magnets for one another, because the survival of the relationship is contingent on the ongoing deceit and lying by both parties.

[privategal]

OP brought up the point that she doesn't understand and is surprised by the MM's lack of truthfulness, so this ties into the general nature of extramarital affairs that myself and others have brought up on this thread. Being they are inherently deceitful and untruthful to begin with. Was not giving moral advice. I just pointed out that she didn't mention her BS in any of this, because its a relevant dynamic. That is, the relationship is distorted from the beginning in these situations because they are based on deceit and dishonesty. I wasn't judging, but was merely pointing out that both of them have this commonality, that is lying and potentially hurting both BS's because of the ongoing nature of the affair. I was merely pointing out that these type of people tend to be magnets for one another, because the survival of the relationship is contingent on the ongoing deceit and lying by both parties.

 

It was condescending and throwing a dig at her. Her question did not involve marriage and your comment was non constructive to her questions or concerns. She is a mow and its pretty clear on these boards people know they are cheating on their partners.

It wasnt a question of morality, she uncovered info and was discussing her mom and the deceipt. I do not wish to derail her thread...just saying she needs constructive advice not moral opinions or digs at her character.

Best wishes.

[Gloria25]

And that's why I started that other thread...

 

Look, even WS who hate their wives, sleep in different bedrooms, etc. are having sex with the BS...point and final. EVEN if they have sex once in a blue moon, they're having sex. And, even if they're not having sex, he's telling her he loves her. They're going on vacation together, taking pics together, he actually "loves" her too.

 

And get this...he kisses her too. He snuggles up next to her in bed too.

 

The sooner the OW accepts this, she can either: 1) Know her role and stop getting upset about the obvious situation; or, 2) Decide that an affair isn't something she's up for.

[Gloria25]

Ignoring the facts and being in denial won't change anything. []

Like most you just don't or won't get it. Reread your posts and pretend it's your friend. If she asked you what you thought what would you tell her.

[]

 

Doesn't matter how he feels about you, MMs in affairs aren't gonna stop having sex with their BS. Some of them are actually gonna turn "hypersexual"...in other words, you turned him on, now he wants more of it - even if he has to jump on the BS to get some. Some of them are creepy - they're getting off that you and the BS wants them at the same time, yep, I said it!!!

 

Ever hear some BS saying that the sex was on the regular and/or increased at the time the affair happened and that's why they're blindsided by the affair? Hello, cuz he's turned on and "sharing the wealth" with the BS.

Edited April 8, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Response to edited quote redacted

[ladydesigner]

[]

 

Doesn't matter how he feels about you, MMs in affairs aren't gonna stop having sex with their BS. Some of them are actually gonna turn "hypersexual"...in other words, you turned him on, now he wants more of it - even if he has to jump on the BS to get some. Some of them are creepy - they're getting off that you and the BS wants them at the same time, yep, I said it!!!

 

Ever hear some BS saying that the sex was on the regular and/or increased at the time the affair happened and that's why they're blindsided by the affair? Hello, cuz he's turned on and "sharing the wealth" with the BS.

 

Yeah you can say that again!

Edited April 8, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Edited quote

[Gloria25]

Yeah you can say that again!

 

Oh no, but I am sorry that happened to you.

 

I guess that's why my FWB was so "candid" with me when he started having sex with someone else and any attempts to have sex with wifey:rolleyes: He did say that he wanted us to let each other know if we were seeing anyone else. I hated the candid info, but glad he wanted to keep it candid.

[Doublegold]

Don't be upset DoubleGold. I am a man. And I've known a few men who have been affairs. Lying becomes second nature to some. I'm not bashing men but merely reporting my observations over many years.

 

I am not upset Bufo. I just happen to love MY Men. My Father, My Brothers, My Son's, My Nephews and My Lover.

 

Other then that it is nothing personal .

Edited April 8, 2016 by Doublegold