Need figuring out

[Tessuhlove]

I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years.in the beginning he left me for his ex after 2 months but we got back together 2 weeks later.he was amazing with my daughter and spent a lot of time with us.his tendencies included being an a jerk getting mad about every little thing.putting me down.i helped pay over 900 to fix his car.bought him a phone.helped him find a good paying job.sadly it flooded and that good paying job turned out to be a bust.hed go days with out work.put us behind on bills.after 6 months of that crap he finally got a consistent job.at the end of the year I told him I planned on parting ways because of the blatant disrespect and him getting angry.he begged me to stay.he does have a lot of great qualities.just don't take crap from people.he was depressed because he didn't get much time to see his daughter.his ex would go out of towns on his days.so I encouraged him to seek legal help.well now he gets to see her more.i have always had a job.well I lost one because my daughter and I got sick with a stomach bug,fevers and rashes within 2 weeks time.he made me feel like crap for it.even though I got an interview that 2nd week.got a job.then quit that one bc I got better pay and schedule.then I found out I was lied to about that schedule.but got offered to work in anther department starting on the 18th.i wanted to make sure I could have time w my family.get up and make them breakfast,cook clean for him.do his laundry.he gave me crap for this.even though his ass sat around for 6 months with a wishy washy job.he kept putting me down,wouldn't respect me when I talked.intteript me.i told him look we can just be roommates.he begged me for just a break.i told him I would think about it.he started to seek professional help.i told him I'd talk to other people.not with the intent to date or be with someone else.just to have some one to hear my frustrations through.im a mom with no friends.all my friends just dropped.he got mad about it.i just wanted to be honest and upfront,it's not my fault he isn't providing respect and is putting me down.well I noticed he would be weird with his phone.hide it.would walk back to the car for it.sleep with it even when we were together.well he told me he was going to therapy on Monday.his therapist recommend we see other people.well I asked him if he was talking to other people.he was at therapy from 7pm til 1030.which is a load of crap.he said he went to whataburger after therapy.before he left he cleaned out his car.put cologne on.he kept asking me what can I do to make this relationship right.i asked for honesty,don't lie,I hate when people lie through their teeth.well I found out he was romantically talking to other girls and also found out he picked up a girl,took her to whataburger and supposedly was there until 1030 with her.first he told me he got out of therapy and went to whataburger at 930.i found the reciept indicating he was there at 844pm.he told me to my face he didn't meet anyone or that he wasn't even talking to anyone.i told him I just want the truth.if you are you are.its just about the honesty of it.lies to my face.logged into his dating app and found out he did pick someone up and took her out.i was pretty upset given the fact that I have been his rock.as he says helps him through his darkest time in life.treated me like total crap.asked me what he could do to get me back.i give him every key.and every time I asked to open the door he lied to my face.i asked him to show me he wasn't talking to other people.he didn't want me to talk to other people.i told him when you tell me the truth I will.hes asking me for all this yet he's preaching his therapist says you don't have to show her your phone or go into detail or even talk to her.but originally told me his therapist said if he didn't have anything to hide he would show me.i told him today I was gonna have a friend Come pick me up.he didn't want me to leave and wanted to work it out.yet he was so quick to take someone on a date,was ok to lie to my face,was ok when I told him if you don't tell me the truth now that I'd make the break indefinite,worst of all I trusted him.i wrote him a heartfelt letter before I knew he did that.im tired of being lied to and disrespected and his controlling issues.and yes I want to stay with him but,I can't deal with these kind of lies.not the kind where he could say he didn't take anyone out or talk to people then say he loves me to my face.i told him i want to leave now but he didn't want me to go.i told him about parting ways at the end of the year after our lease was over.im like wtf difference does it make?!im so conflicted,I truly love him.i just don't know if I should leave now.wait to get back w him like his therapist advises when it's the right time while he dates others(which I'm not cool with if our end goal is to be back together)or call it quits and stick it out as roommates until then end of the year(while he dates)sorry for long post

[elaine567]

I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years.in the beginning he left me for his ex after 2 months but we got back together 2 weeks later. He was amazing with my daughter and spent a lot of time with us.his tendencies included being an a jerk getting mad about every little thing.putting me down.

i helped pay over 900 to fix his car.bought him a phone.helped him find a good paying job.sadly it flooded and that good paying job turned out to be a bust. He'd go days with out work. Put us behind on bills.after 6 months of that crap he finally got a consistent job.at the end of the year I told him I planned on parting ways because of the blatant disrespect and him getting angry.he begged me to stay.he does have a lot of great qualities.just don't take crap from people.he was depressed because he didn't get much time to see his daughter.his ex would go out of towns on his days.so I encouraged him to seek legal help.well now he gets to see her more.

 

I have always had a job.well I lost one because my daughter and I got sick with a stomach bug,fevers and rashes within 2 weeks time.he made me feel like crap for it.even though I got an interview that 2nd week.got a job.then quit that one bc I got better pay and schedule.then I found out I was lied to about that schedule.but got offered to work in anther department starting on the 18th.

 

i wanted to make sure I could have time w my family.get up and make them breakfast,cook clean for him.do his laundry.he gave me crap for this.even though his ass sat around for 6 months with a wishy washy job.he kept putting me down,wouldn't respect me when I talked.intteript me.i told him look we can just be roommates.he begged me for just a break.i told him I would think about it.he started to seek professional help.i told him I'd talk to other people.not with the intent to date or be with someone else.just to have some one to hear my frustrations through.

 

im a mom with no friends.all my friends just dropped.he got mad about it.i just wanted to be honest and upfront,it's not my fault he isn't providing respect and is putting me down.

 

well I noticed he would be weird with his phone.hide it.would walk back to the car for it.sleep with it even when we were together.well he told me he was going to therapy on Monday.his therapist recommend we see other people.well I asked him if he was talking to other people.he was at therapy from 7pm til 1030.which is a load of crap.he said he went to whataburger after therapy.before he left he cleaned out his car.put cologne on.he kept asking me what can I do to make this relationship right.i asked for honesty,don't lie,I hate when people lie through their teeth.

 

well I found out he was romantically talking to other girls and also found out he picked up a girl,took her to whataburger and supposedly was there until 1030 with her.first he told me he got out of therapy and went to whataburger at 930.i found the reciept indicating he was there at 844pm.he told me to my face he didn't meet anyone or that he wasn't even talking to anyone.i told him I just want the truth.if you are you are.its just about the honesty of it.lies to my face.

 

logged into his dating app and found out he did pick someone up and took her out.i was pretty upset given the fact that I have been his rock.as he says helps him through his darkest time in life.treated me like total crap.asked me what he could do to get me back.i give him every key.and every time I asked to open the door he lied to my face.i asked him to show me he wasn't talking to other people.he didn't want me to talk to other people.i told him when you tell me the truth I will.

 

hes asking me for all this yet he's preaching his therapist says you don't have to show her your phone or go into detail or even talk to her.but originally told me his therapist said if he didn't have anything to hide he would show me.

 

I told him today I was gonna have a friend Come pick me up.

he didn't want me to leave and wanted to work it out.yet he was so quick to take someone on a date,was ok to lie to my face,was ok when I told him if you don't tell me the truth now that I'd make the break indefinite,worst of all I trusted him.i wrote him a heartfelt letter before I knew he did that.im tired of being lied to and disrespected and his controlling issues.and yes I want to stay with him but,I can't deal with these kind of lies.not the kind where he could say he didn't take anyone out or talk to people then say he loves me to my face.

 

i told him i want to leave now but he didn't want me to go.i told him about parting ways at the end of the year after our lease was over.im like wtf difference does it make?

 

!im so conflicted,I truly love him.i just don't know if I should leave now.wait to get back w him like his therapist advises when it's the right time while he dates others(which I'm not cool with if our end goal is to be back together)or call it quits and stick it out as roommates until then end of the year(while he dates)sorry for long post.

 

tl:dr - single mom with a daughter, dates unemployed guy who she tried to help but he lazed around, spent her money and fooled around with other women.

 

 

Advice - call it quits, enough is enough.

[Zahara]

i just don't know if I should leave now.wait to get back w him like his therapist advises when it's the right time while he dates others(which I'm not cool with if our end goal is to be back together)or call it quits and stick it out as roommates until then end of the year(while he dates)sorry for long post

 

Absolutely ridicilous behavior on your part. Time and time again this man has treated you poorly only to come back with empty words to rope you back in and even at this point you're asking if you should leave now? And this therapist is advocating you sitting around and waiting for him to turn into some magical prince after he's dated others?

 

What are you teaching your daughter? That it's acceptable for a man to treat a woman poorly? That it's acceptable to sit there and tolerate pain and hurt in the name of "love".

 

You don't love this man. You're addicted to the drama and pain. Step back and rationalize what it is you love about someone that treats you like crap. He only comes back when you break it off because he knows you're a doormat that's going to take care of him. You're a benefit to him, that's all. I hate to be harsh, but you need to wake up.

 

Get out of the place. Focus on raising your daughter in a healthy environment.