4 questions about dating (short & urgent)

[The Next Big Thing]

Im 22 year student at university, Ive never had a girlfriend yet. Im very social and talkative. I have no problem meeting new woman or getting to know them, but I have few questions regarding 4 topics which Im uncertain of. I would be really thankful if you would answer all 4 , if not at least some of them, thanks a lot :

 

1.How do you know/decide to date someone? I know several girls who I have great connection with and I think there is mutual attraction. But should I know which one of them is the right one? Now I dont mean like love for life (eventhough that is beautiful) but I mean like start a relationship.

 

 

2.Should you pay for all dates? Or just first one and the second one split in half or pay even that? I got no problem paying it, I just dont want woman to feel uncomfortable because of it.

 

 

3.Why people say the best date is some interactive activity like bowling or something like that? They say cinema and dinner is one of the worst. Actually my parents went on first date to cinema, and even on other dates and it was great. My friend went with his ex-girlfriend on a first date to a movie also, some comedy. They were together for several years. I like going to cinema and good restaurants, and I never play bowling or other stuff like that, so why cant I do things with the girl I naturally like to do?

 

4.Why they say you should text or call a girl after 3 days or so? Is it true or not?

How long before the first date should you call or text?

AND which one is better actually, to call or text? I feel like textig can give her more time to think and not put pressure on her but calling can be seen as more confident. I have no proble with neither, Im just not sure which one.

 

5.THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION:

WHYYY people say , you cant add your crush on FB??? They say its just a way girl wants to put you into a friend zone. I dont understand that. Several times it happened to me that a girl who liked me (and I liked her too) added me on FB. She added me and we kept communicating there and it went well, neither of them became less interested, actually a bit more. So I dont understand this philosophy. When a there is a situation that you can get a contact from a girl and SHE OFFERS you FB, should you refuse and ask for number or become FB friends or both?

[geronimo]

1.How do you know/decide to date someone? I know several girls who I have great connection with and I think there is mutual attraction. But should I know which one of them is the right one? Now I dont mean like love for life (eventhough that is beautiful) but I mean like start a relationship.

 

This should be simple and natural, whoever you feel most attracted to, physically and emotionally is the person you should date. If you cant decide, take them all out on a "first date" and see who you click with and see yourself forming a real relationship with the most.

 

2.Should you pay for all dates? Or just first one and the second one split in half or pay even that? I got no problem paying it, I just dont want woman to feel uncomfortable because of it.

 

I'm 24, and I have been in one long term serious relationship (started when I was 18) so, I have a problem and I paid for everything in my 5 year relationship and even now for the most part I pay for things. I wouldn't say its ideal, but if you can do it, why not. Otherwise the first couple dates you should pay, and then from then on it should be mutual/divided.

 

3.Why people say the best date is some interactive activity like bowling or something like that? They say cinema and dinner is one of the worst. Actually my parents went on first date to cinema, and even on other dates and it was great. My friend went with his ex-girlfriend on a first date to a movie also, some comedy. They were together for several years. I like going to cinema and good restaurants, and I never play bowling or other stuff like that, so why cant I do things with the girl I naturally like to do?

 

The movies isn't a good first date/ideal date because you can't interact with the person as much, plus its way overdone and the girl will find you boring. Doing something interactive makes you seem fun and exciting and you guys can both get to really find out who you are and whether you're compatible or not. Now I know its hard to do, the movies is easy and comfortable, but when you click on one of those dates, it'll be the best experience of your life.

 

4.Why they say you should text or call a girl after 3 days or so? Is it true or not?

How long before the first date should you call or text?

AND which one is better actually, to call or text? I feel like textig can give her more time to think and not put pressure on her but calling can be seen as more confident. I have no proble with neither, Im just not sure which one.

 

I'm not a believe of the "waiting game" or any other stupid games actually, but to each their own. Leave the games to the losers. In my opinion if the girl likes you, you wont have to play games to get her and everything will be natural. Do what feels right, don't play stupid games.

 

5.THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION:

WHYYY people say , you cant add your crush on FB??? They say its just a way girl wants to put you into a friend zone. I dont understand that. Several times it happened to me that a girl who liked me (and I liked her too) added me on FB. She added me and we kept communicating there and it went well, neither of them became less interested, actually a bit more. So I dont understand this philosophy. When a there is a situation that you can get a contact from a girl and SHE OFFERS you FB, should you refuse and ask for number or become FB friends or both?

 

I guess people say that because fb has become a hub where anyone and everyone adds eachother. You could meet a passerby and add them on fb. I honestly don't see the problem in that, its just that in your messages with the girl, you're going to have to be direct and make sure you voice your intentions fairly early on vs waiting around, because that way you will get friendzoned.

 

Hope that helped, goodluck.

[PrettyEmily77]

1. Ask whoever you like most out of the single ones (unless you're a drama addict).

 

2. For the first couple of dates, whoever invites pays. You can see how it goes if ever it gets beyond that stage.

 

3. Dating is about getting to know each other and enjoying each other's company, wherever you decide to go / whatever you decide to do.

 

4. Text/call whenever you feel like it. If she likes you, she'll be happy to hear from you. No need to play games; they confuse stuff more than anything.

 

5. You to add her? Add her. You don't? Don't. If this affects your chances, she's not the one.

 

Good luck

[Haydn]

1. Ask whoever you like most out of the single ones (unless you're a drama addict).

 

2. For the first couple of dates, whoever invites pays. You can see how it goes if ever it gets beyond that stage.

 

3. Dating is about getting to know each other and enjoying each other's company, wherever you decide to go / whatever you decide to do.

 

4. Text/call whenever you feel like it. If she likes you, she'll be happy to hear from you. No need to play games; they confuse stuff more than anything.

 

5. You to add her? Add her. You don't? Don't. If this affects your chances, she's not the one.

 

Good luck

 

True. (Lots more words)

[preraph]

1.How do you know/decide to date someone?

 

If you're ambivalent where to begin, start with the one who seems to take the most interest in you and who seems to have it together and goes to her classes or to her work and isn't flaking on responsibilities, best you can tell. It's your best chance for success.

 

2.Should you pay for all dates?

 

You should not ask someone on a date unless you are prepared to pay for it, at least for the first couple of months. Especially at your age, not everyone has ANY disposable income, so unless you have money, go on some cheap dates, walks, etc. She can offer to pay or if she wasn't a student, she could have you over for dinner and that sort of thing to reciprocate. After a couple of months, if she still hasn't offered and you think her financial situation isn't so dire that she simply can't pay for it, you could say something like, "I want to go to this concert, but I just can't afford two tickets and don't want to go alone," and see if she offers to pay her own way.

 

3.Why people say the best date is some interactive activity like bowling or something like that?

The first couple of dates can be awkward, so it's best to have an activity to focus on but not one that keeps you from talking, such as a movie. A movie is great for when you have already gotten comfortable but want a good excuse to cuddle up.

 

4.Why they say you should text or call a girl after 3 days or so? Is it true or not?

How long before the first date should you call or text?

AND which one is better actually, to call or text?

Everyone is different on this one. Some people have a hissy fit if they don't hear back and forth from someone immediately and constantly. I find that really neurotic and insecure and needy personally, but there's lot of them. Before a date, you should make the plans about 3 days ahead, not last minute, not a week ahead (unless it's something you have to buy tickets for or whatever) and I think doing it with a call rather than text avoids a lot of "did she mean this or that."

 

After a first date, if you took her back to her place, text by noon the next day saying you had a good time and want to do it again soon. If you put her in a taxi, text her to be sure she got home okay, but don't freak out if she's turned her phone off already and passed out.

 

5.THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION:

WHYYY people say , you cant add your crush on FB???

 

Wait until you at least have some tangible friendship or acquaintanceship with a person before adding them at least. Don't just go fishing over there. I think some guys say not to because they're juggling women, but as long as you're not planning on concealing that you're multi-dating, which you shouldn't, add whoever you want. But just know they can see everything.

[The Next Big Thing]

Thank you guys!

 

Regarding the first question, its quite difficult, at least for me. Because at first when I want to know some girl I like her a lot, some may call it slight infatuation, right? But as I get to know her more and more, Im not even nervous anymore around her, I start to see also her flaws and I just kind of lose that initial attraction. But I still enjoy conversations with her, still think she is pretty etc, but I feel like I dont like her that much to get into a commitment (relationship) with her. But I cant think like this otherwise I will never find anyone. I just dont know if you should force it even if you have doubts and see how it evovles or what...

Has that happened to you too?

[Shanex]

I pretty much agree with PrettyEmily but will answer with my (man) perspective... Add a thing or two.

 

Im 22 year student at university, Ive never had a girlfriend yet. Im very social and talkative. I have no problem meeting new woman or getting to know them, but I have few questions regarding 4 topics which Im uncertain of. I would be really thankful if you would answer all 4 , if not at least some of them, thanks a lot :

 

First, 22 is fine to never had a girlfriend. Occasionally a 30s something will come up with a few questions regarding the dating scene because he/she has never been there.

 

 

1.How do you know/decide to date someone?

 

Online: if we click through the OLD site, like each other personality and look, have things in common, don't live too far, then I start to be excited and want to know more... possibly see for an actual IRL date. But this is not quite yet the key of success.

 

 

2.Should you pay for all dates? Or just first one and the second one split in half or pay even that? I got no problem paying it, I just dont want woman to feel uncomfortable because of it.

 

As pointed out by PE, if you invite, you pay, unless the lady insist in paying, which once occurred to me and accepted, but was generous on the second date. Otherwise don't worry, modern women or those I've known aren't greedy at all, at least if they have a job and will happily pay you a drink if they like you.

 

3.Why people say the best date is some interactive activity like bowling or something like that?

 

Boils down to individual preferences, my personal fave date is a coffee in a quiet place, or a drink but by no means getting sh*t faced. And then go for a walk somewhere quiet too, a park or why not a forest nearby. You need to hear each other talk and have a conversation which you can't in a pub or at a loud bowling or theater.

 

.Why they say you should text or call a girl after 3 days or so? Is it true or not?

 

No. She might think you are not interested waiting this long only to pretend you're somehow busy. Don't excessive text either of course. 10 texts a day to check out on each other is a good start, also, even young people sometimes prefer a call. You guys decide. Can't tell for ya, only advising.

 

5.THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION:

WHYYY people say , you cant add your crush on FB???

 

I always thought adding someone so early on is not a bright idea. Depend what you have posted on your social medias, but I'd rather not want someone I barely know scan though my life since [insert date of joining up FB]. On the other hand, texting or whatapping is just as fun. Again you decide.

Edited April 8, 2016 by Shanex