Best guy friend, things got a bit messy.

[cocopuffs92]

So I've had this guy friend for 9 years; we've been through hell and back with eachother but never actually dated. I had a miscarriage 5 years ago with him and we hadn't slept together in 4 years until recently. We had been getting close (phone calls, face time, texting all day) but then would argue because he does drugs and I am highly against them. Stop talking for a bit but always ended up talking again. About a month ago we were at a mutuals friends house and people noticed the chemistry between us and had asked if we had something going on. Which I said nah that's simply just us no matter where and when, anyways. He admitted to everyone he had feelings for me, ended up tearing up while apologizing for hurting me in the past. Kissed me in front of everyone which he's never been like before. He came back to my house and we had sex, but it was more passionate I wanna say than anything.

 

We started talking everyday, hanging out all the time but he said we were only friends which I was really trying hard to be okay with. But, he would still flirt with me but pull back once he noticed it. He's very emotionally damaged and him and I both know no one in this world knows him like I do and he hates that i see through it all. No one doubts he has feelings for me and neither do I; I mean being with him in person there's always a spark and it's without a doubt there. I feel like when we get close he pushes me away because he knows I'll always be there. I'm almost convinced I suffered another miscarriage but can't be for certain I explained the situation to him and he totally reacted like an ass about it. So I ignored his reply... Then went to mutual friends and he said so and so is mad at you blah blah. So the day before last I decided to go with the No contact for 30 days, lol which I figured won't be so hard he won't text me since he's mad and hardly ever starts conversations anyways. He texts me one day into it, which I ignored. He's snap chatted me 3-4 times which I've ignored... I've always been there and I've never straight up ignored him so not sure how this approach will go. What's your take? Is it a lost cause.

[Satu]

People don't usually have sex with their friends. That doesn't mean that you can't, its just something that most people choose not to do.

 

When you do the relationship becomes something else...

 

I don't think that either of you are clear about the real nature of your relationship.

 

Take time out from it to self-reflect and clarify your thoughts.

 

A month sounds sensible.

 

 

Take care.

[preraph]

You need to start dating other people and refocus your energies.

[cocopuffs92]

It's easier said than done, this guy is my soulmate. We finish eachother sentences, we have so much history and even though he often comes off as a jerk he has always been protective of me and had my back for a lot of things but sadly it's only when it doesn't involve him. Like he can screw me over but if someone else does he goes in on them.

 

I know I should simply let it go but 9 years I've been struggling with this person and to walk away from it is the hardest thing I'll ever have to do.