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girls mentioning their boyfriends


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When girls tell you they have a boyfriend right off the bat is that b/c thye want you to know they are taken or just for discussion? Because my co-workers always drop in their availability to me when i don't ask, for example we'd be talking bout how it was busy today or what we did on our days off, and they (I talk to each co-worker 1 on 1) always mention that their boyfriend did this or they wish their boyfriend did this, or I don't want a boyfriend right now (the single co-workers of course). The way I take it is that its all just for sake of conversation but is there something underneath all of this that I'm missing? Like are they trying to get a reaction out of me or see if I'm single b/c I never really thought of it that way until today. Haha I was just wondering b/c I'm really bad at picking up signs and reading body language,and all of that stuff, hope I'm not missign anything.

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LucreziaBorgia

Generally, its what women do to make sure you know they aren't available. Its not really meant to be mean, so much as it is being clear from the start.

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it means that they are taken and they don't want you to do or say anything to make an ass of yourself. it could also possibly mean they are attracted to you but unavailable. or it could mean they think you were gonna ask 'em out. in either case you lose but keep on looking. there is pussy everywhere. :)

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whichwayisup

They may have picked up on something from you - Realized this guy kinda is checking me out - So right away they put up the "I'm taken" speech so you don't ask them out.

 

The others are right, and it's the nice way of gently preventing possible embarressment.

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UltimateZen

I agree with everyone here. It is a self-defence mechanism. Very annoying, even when your intentions aren't there; they still feel a need to repel anyone whom they think might be checking them out. It is also a great way for them to communicate to you: Friend only, never more. Also, and this is just a shot in the dark, but I think some women actually get a high off of telling this to the single guys; making them think they are in such high demand. Some sort of ego boost I guess to make them feel better about themselves. Just fluff it off. In fact avoid the whole topic altogether.

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blind_otter
Originally posted by UltimateZen

I agree with everyone here. It is a self-defence mechanism. Very annoying, even when your intentions aren't there; they still feel a need to repel anyone whom they think might be checking them out. It is also a great way for them to communicate to you: Friend only, never more. Also, and this is just a shot in the dark, but I think some women actually get a high off of telling this to the single guys; making them think they are in such high demand. Some sort of ego boost I guess to make them feel better about themselves. Just fluff it off. In fact avoid the whole topic altogether.

 

Not an ego boost. Trying to avoid future complications, though. Things can get sticky if you don't make it clear from the start. Of course I am now avoiding a certain circle of friends I have -- those guys don't even CARE that I have a BF and STILL try to get with me. :rolleyes: a**h***s.

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ReluctantRomeo
Originally posted by UltimateZen

I think some women actually get a high off of telling this to the single guys; making them think they are in such high demand. Some sort of ego boost I guess to make them feel better about themselves.

 

No.

 

Originally posted by whichwayisup

It's the nice way of gently preventing possible embarressment.

 

Yes.

 

And actually, when I'm taken, I do this too. Makes it clear that my friendliness is just friendliness and nothing more. Everyone is happy and knows the score, no-one is embarrassed.

 

IMO some girls do this a little too quickly and a little too defensively. But then, it's worse when girls do the opposite - one of my colleagues flirted with me for ages before mentioning her bf. I didn't like this.

 

My solution when told of the bf is to treat it like any other conversational topic - be interested, ask questions. Even defensive girls then relax.

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blind_otter

Also some of us have retained the high school-ish habit of saying "My boyfriend thinks this" or "My boyfriend does that, too!" :o

 

....my boyfriend thinks it's cute! :laugh:

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laRubiaBonita

well, i actually mention my bf a lot. mainly cause when i tell a story or something, it is about somewhere i have been, or soething i did with my bf.....so it is more like he is just part of the story cause he is part of my life.

 

i do the same thing when telling a story where my friends where involved.

 

sometimes i realize that it MAY seem like i am throwing out so that it is Known, and i actually catch myself and just say friend sometimes.

 

 

But the point is that in some instances, it may noit be intentional.

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Originally posted by blind_otter

Also some of us have retained the high school-ish habit of saying "My boyfriend thinks this" or "My boyfriend does that, too!"

 

 

Originally posted by laRubiaBonita

well, i actually mention my bf a lot. mainly cause when i tell a story or something, it is about somewhere i have been, or soething i did with my bf.....so it is more like he is just part of the story cause he is part of my life.

 

makes sense to me since most women's lives revolve around their man! :laugh:

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ReluctantRomeo
Originally posted by alphamale

makes sense to me since most women's lives revolve around their man! :laugh:

 

:laugh: Yeah, they always ask "why does the woman have to take the man's name" but they're still keen to do it when the opportunity arises... it's kind of cute

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I'm glad when they say this... it means I won't have to make a fool of myself. Sometimes they can't shut up about it, though.

 

It's worse when guys do it... they're asking to get bitch-slapped.

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blind_otter
Originally posted by westernxer

It's worse when guys do it... they're asking to get bitch-slapped.

 

I always wonder if my BF talks about me like I talk about him. He's a manly man with all male friends. I guess I got my answer!

 

I asked him once if he had told anyone about me (that I'm American, or that I'm half asian, or any details at all) and he said "I said I had a girlfriend, that's all those blokes need to know. It's none of their damn business."

 

I'm such a gossip. DETAILS! :p

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Originally posted by blind_otter

I'm such a gossip. DETAILS! :p

Sometime I like to play with girls too. Some woman will approach me or start talking with me and within 5 minutes I can tell she is interested. So I flirt for a while and sorta lead them on....and then about 20 minutes into the encounter I drop the "g/f" bomb and I watch their reaction. Some hide their dissapointment quite well and some don't. But it's free entertainment i guess. :)

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laRubiaBonita
Originally posted by alphamale

 

Sometime I like to play with girls too. Some woman will approach me or start talking with me and within 5 minutes I can tell she is interested. So I flirt for a while and sorta lead them on....and then about 20 minutes into the encounter I drop the "g/f" bomb and I watch their reaction. Some hide their dissapointment quite well and some don't. But it's free entertainment i guess. :)

 

 

then there are other ladies that think " Oh well for his gf, he seems pretty damn interested in ME....and i certainly do not see any gf around........"

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Originally posted by laRubiaBonita

then there are other ladies that think " Oh well for his gf, he seems pretty damn interested in ME....and i certainly do not see any gf around........"

right LRB....last nite I was out with the g/f at this big group dinner and to watch the Pistons totally crush San Antonio.

 

Anyways....so me and g/f are sitting next to each other in a mixed group at this 8 person booth and I was on the end. So this chick-a-dee called Lynn comes up to me and she's like "hi alpha, I'm Lynn, remember me from 5 yrs ago??" So I reply back "oh, hi, sorry I don't remember meeting.....but did we sleep together?"

 

She says "well...I didn't have the pleasure at that time!". My g/f is sitting next to me and heard everything and she's like :eek: . I guess Lynn did not realize I was sitting next to my woman.

 

I love f***king with peopel. he he

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Originally posted by alphamale

 

Sometime I like to play with girls too. Some woman will approach me or start talking with me and within 5 minutes I can tell she is interested. So I flirt for a while and sorta lead them on....and then about 20 minutes into the encounter I drop the "g/f" bomb and I watch their reaction. Some hide their dissapointment quite well and some don't. But it's free entertainment i guess. :)

 

That's funny. This girl at my old job did the same thing. When she first got hired, she'd tell all the guys she had this "friend" she did things with. Never even mentioned him as a boyfriend... I guess she didn't want the guys to ignore her, and they didn't, fools that they were.

 

I had this gut feeling that she wasn't being forthcoming, so I kept my distance. By the time the other guys got comfortable with her and started hanging out after work and such, she upgraded her vocabulary to include the word "boyfriend." She had them by the balls at that point, so it didn't matter what she said.

 

It pays to listen to your gut.

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Originally posted by blind_otter

I asked him once if he had told anyone about me (that I'm American, or that I'm half asian, or any details at all) and he said "I said I had a girlfriend, that's all those blokes need to know. It's none of their damn business."

 

I'm such a gossip. DETAILS! :p

 

A girl I broke up with wanted to know the same thing... if I told as many people as she did. This was AFTER I dumped her. Guess she was embarrassed, but she could've avoided it by not being a bitch in the first place.

 

To answer her question, did I tell everyone about us in the same manner as she?

 

No. In fact, I hardly told anyone.

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Originally posted by westernxer

That's funny. This girl at my old job did the same thing. When she first got hired, she'd tell all the guys she had this "friend" she did things with. Never even mentioned him as a boyfriend... I guess she didn't want the guys to ignore her, and they didn't, fools that they were.

Or maybe she had her fishing line in the water looking to "upgrade". When none of the dudes met her demanding criteria then her "friend" magically turned into "boyfriend". I guess it pay to keep one's options open.

 

Next time, WESTERNXR, when a chick mentions her "friend" ask her if said "friend" sticks his c*ock in her mouth! :laugh:

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Originally posted by alphamale

 

Or maybe she had her fishing line in the water looking to "upgrade". When none of the dudes met her demanding criteria then her "friend" magically turned into "boyfriend". I guess it pay to keep one's options open.

 

Next time, WESTERNXR, when a chick mentions her "friend" ask her if said "friend" sticks his c*ock in her mouth! :laugh:

 

:laugh: Turns out he did.

 

I have to agree with your fishing line analogy. I had the same impression, but kept my distance.

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Haha awesome thanx for the reassurance. Yeah I got all confused when my co-workers were telling me they were all unavailable, lol my response was literally an "um...ok....." and we just continued our discussions. Yeah I have to agree this is a good thing, I'd rather be told this then find out later and feel like an ass. Thanx for all of the replies.

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