When to do 1st date?

[40daysforthen253]

Seeking a 1st date routine i can do regularly.

 

Drinks after work (6:30 pm)? Is 9 pm too late? What's your contingency plan if its going well?

 

After work, do people feel like going to a park or should i stick to drinks?

 

For 1st dates is it better to do drinks on a fri. or sat. night rather than after work? An elaborate activity sunday afternoon?

 

Lastly, same question for instadates. You see someone. "hey". you talk. like each other. "get coffee with me. oh, you can't now. 30 min." is that good? Thanks.

Edited April 10, 2016 by 40daysforthen253

[hasaquestion]

Seeking a 1st date routine i can do regularly.

 

Drinks after work (6:30 pm)? Is 9 pm too late? What's your contingency plan if its going well?

 

After work, do people feel like going to a park or should i stick to drinks?

 

For 1st dates is it better to do drinks on a fri. or sat. night rather than after work? An elaborate activity sunday afternoon?

 

Lastly, same question for instadates. You see someone. "hey". you talk. like each other. "get coffee with me. oh, you can't now. 30 min." is that good? Thanks.

 

I assume by routine you mean 'template' for a first date, rather than a literal routine. Otherwise you should be the one giving out dating advice.

 

It depends where you live, what your lifestyle is like, what demographics you're going on dates with, etc. How old are you?

 

Personally, I tend to observe the following guidelines, without thinking about it:

 

- I always go for drinks as a first date. Like Cary Grant or navy blazers, some things are just classics. Plus, I drink too much, so if nothing else its honesty. Dessert is an alternative - if you don't drink, perhaps you can get a slice of cake to share and sit at a fancy restaurant bar to approximate the format.

 

- I like weeknight first dates. Some people will make noise about how it messes with their schedules. Personally, I wake up at 6 AM for work, and if a great girl keeps me up one night, I can live. Most dates you go on aren't going to last long, or keep you up past your normal bedtime anyway.

 

- I wouldn't schedule a faraway date. Walkable at best, brief Uber ride at worst. Partly because that makes it possible to go back to your place if you're both having a great time, but also just on general principle. A first date is supposed to be laid back.

 

- I avoid scheduling dates on Friday night. No new friends on a Friday night. If I don't spend a Friday night with long-time friends, family or someone else who I think is special, I'd rather spend it alone working on hobby stuff. It sounds silly but it makes sense in my head.

 

- I would avoid first date activity-dates. I think its putting the cart before the horse, so to speak.

 

Don't try to plan everything out though. Just get out there and over time you'll figure out what works for you by trial and error. I don't observe any of the above tendencies because I read them in Principles Of Theroetical And Applied Dating or something like that, you just get a feel for what works for you and what doesn't.

 

As for the insta-date thing... I've never done that and I don't get why you wouldn't just get her number and schedule a date. Most people have schedules and can't just drop their stuff to get coffee. Sounds like something that only works in movies. What's the rush? She's not going to explode between now and Thursday night.

[d0nnivain]

Weeknight 1st dates are best. Wednesday or Thursday but a Sunday 1st date can work too.

 

 

Picking an activity that can be done in work clothes without having to rush home to change is key. Don't make things harder & more stressful.

 

 

6:30 - 7:00 is fine, depending on what time people get out of work & the amount of travel involved. Be flexible on the time.

[mammasita]

From personal experience, I always preferred a first "date" to be drinks after work 6-7PM ish and not on a weekend. Pretty casual and not too much of a time commitment....from there you can talk about more formal weekend plans if you hit it off.