amy1979 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Quick background - boyfriend and I have been together since December 2013. He broke up with me the first time in April of 2013. We moved in together way too fast. He was always out with his friends fishing. Not just a few hours, I'm talking about days. Nights. 72 hours of no talking and him not coming home. He had the mindset of, "well she's going to be mad so I mine as well do it anyway." Had no problem with him having his own time, I just wanted communication. When there wasn't any, I would get upset. So, in turn, he was mad at me because I was upset with his lack of communication. Worked things out, got back together in May 2013. Then, like clock work, he left moved out in January 2014. We were still together but lived seperately. I would barely see him. He then broke up with me in April. Like clockwork. 4 months later, I moved out of town 4 hours away. He was upset I left. Stayed 2 months out of town and had returned in January 2015. I wasn't planning on seeing him or giving him another chance. During my time away, he had dated another girl, lived with her, got her pregnant, forced her to have an abortion then left her. He started talking to me when I moved back. It was slow, but we got back together. He kept saying how sorry he was, that leaving me was the biggest mistake of his life, he loves me so much. And it was great. For about 2 months. He stayed with me during that time. But he consistently broke plans with me for his friends. Which have been a constant problem in our relation. Although I don't mind him having his time with his friends, I have always been put in the back seat when it come to them. And not in a good way. About a month ago, we got into an argument about his previous girlfriend he was with while I was gone. When we started talking again, he had told me how crazy she was, baby wasn't his, he only stayed there because she threatened to commit suicide and that they only slept together once. My cousin called me and said that she had seen my boyfriend over there at this girls house. I confronted him and he was pist. Saying I didn't trust him, that she's crazy, to **** off. And when I had said, I know you slept with her more than once and you basically lied to my face.. He replied with, that's because I didn't want to hurt you! Mind you, he was telling me that when he had slept with her, he had felt guilty and felt bad because evidentally he still had feelings for me. Anyway, so a fight commenced. He left. Like he always does. He doesn't communicate, brushes everything under the rug and will completely ignore our issues, not resolve them and hope they go away on their own. His kids came out for spring bream. His ex wife stated that she didn't want her children around me this time because when they came out last year, we weren't together and she doesn't want to confuse them. Which I respect. But the reality is that everytime we fought, he would jump on the phone and bad mouth me to his ex wife. So, it put me in a bad light. He had called me on Easter, told me he loved me and missed me. Texted me and said the same and that he can't wait to hold me. 6 days later, he called and told me he loved me and misses me. That he's not ignoring me. He just has his kids and his daughter wants his attention 24/7. I respect that. His kids come first. No problem. 5 days later, his kids were back home but still didn't see or hear from him. He was put fishing with his friends. I had messaged him and said, I haven't seen you in a month. You don't call or text. You don't stop by. I'm guessing by you ignoring me is another word for you're not interested in me anymore. He wrote back and said, "I didn't say that. I'm sorry. I've been so busy and upset about my kids leaving. X threw a major fit when they left. X cries every night for me. I'm trying to find a job and I need to be closer to my kids. I'll come over tomorrow. I live you and miss you." That's the last I've heard from him. That was last Tuesday. During that time, he's been out fishing, camping and doing his own thing, while I'm trying to figure out what's going on and if I should just walk away. I told him Tuesday through a text if I didn't hear from him by tomorrow, I'm done. Because I deserve some respect and this is wrong. He didn't reply to that, but he did reply to the message about me walking away via fb messenger when he talked about his kids. At this point, I don't want to do this anymore. I don't deserve this. But at the same time, I would feel like a complete bitch if I breakup with him if he is legitimately having personal issues. But a month? And he ignores me? How does one deal with that? Might I add that he is ignoring me again just like he did last year when he failed to breakup with me but ignored me so long that I had to ask if I still had a boyfriend and he told me no? Seems like clockwork. He left a month ago. In March. It's like a patter.
elaine567 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Why exactly are you putting up with this nonsense? You are right you do not deserve this and you do deserve some respect. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 I can't for the life of me fathom why you've stayed with him so long. He has shown you repeatedly that he doesn't value or appreciate you. Time to get off this merry-go-round. 3
healingsoul Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 This is so much drama to have in your life. Life is hard enough without having to go through all of this. I think like so many people have been telling you, you need to move on and be grateful that you didn't stay with or marry this individual. Focus on your own healing and what you need to do in life to become the best complete person you can be. Take time to do this without being in another relationship so that when you do find the right person you will be happy with yourself, pleased with where you are heading in life and looking forward to getting to know another individual in a positive relationship.
bathtub-row Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 I have no idea what you're thinking by spending one more second with this idiot. You must love to be tortured.
i123confused Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 You got stuck in a dysfunctional cycle. You deserve better and you are responsible for your own happiness first and foremost. He has clearly disrespected you over and over. Choose better for yourself and stick by your decisio. You can do it! 1
Larryville Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 boyfriend and I have been together since December 2013. He broke up with me the first time in April of 2013. Don't know how you do this, but ok... He was always out with his friends fishing. 72 hours of no talking and him not coming home Clue #1 Worked things out, got back together in May 2013 ok like clock work, he left moved out in January 2014. We were still together but lived seperately. So you really did NOT work things out... 4 months later, I moved out of town 4 hours away. He was upset I left. Ok smart... Stayed 2 months out of town and had returned in January 2015. Why? he had told me how crazy she (his ex) was Always a red flag when your current significant other talks about how crazy the ex was... Anyway, so a fight commenced. He left. Like he always does. He doesn't communicate, brushes everything under the rug. Clearly not a shock by this time but still with him... He had called me on Easter, told me he loved me and missed me LOL! Seriously? 5 days later, his kids were back home but still didn't see or hear from him. Usual pattern... He was put fishing with his friends. I had messaged him and said, I haven't seen you in a month. This fishing again, guys sounds like a real winner... I told him Tuesday through a text if I didn't hear from him by tomorrow, I'm done. Because I deserve some respect NOW you deserve respect, ok You know I read this stuff and sometimes I wonder if some of these stories are real. Some are obviously fake, people just trying to get attention but stuff like this makes me wonder. Let me be blunt OP, he is not the problem YOU are. He is acting exactly the way he was taught to act by whoever was his relationship role models and by YOU. After all of this crap NOW you want respect? Is this old saying I have heard many times, “ladies you teach men how to treat ya” Not about excusing his behavior because dude just sounds like a idiot jackass. This again goes to self-esteem. Ladies (guys too) if any of the above sounds familiar, GTFO… if you don’t you have nobody to blame but yourself.
stillafool Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 Your relationship has been over for quite sometime it's just that apparently neither of you have realizes it. Besides he has a new baby on the way and I would leave him so he can take care of that situation because once that baby gets here there will be more drama.
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