Author LondonGirl81 Posted May 8, 2016 Author Share Posted May 8, 2016 Notsoinnicentgul: Sorry to hear your also in pain and you're living through the aftermath of an affair as well. It's rubbish, but we will survive and get through this. Just to clarify, I will not be his friend. I have no interest in being friends with a man who is willing to be a cake eater and continue having a piece on the side with no care for anyone's feelings (me, his wife, his kids, and all the other people who would suffer from his need for extra martial sex). My MM would've continued the A for as long as he could/wanted to. All that mattered to him was getting all of his needs fulfilled. I don't want to know someone like that. Shame I didn't have the sense and decency 10 months ago to not fall in love with a man who's willing to cheat on his wife. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LondonGirl81 Posted May 16, 2016 Author Share Posted May 16, 2016 I haven't been here for a week or so, as I've had moments of just not wanting to think about the A and blocking it out of my head. I love those moments - I try to think about it, I try to think about him, and I just can't bring myself to. I hope that they will last forever, but inevitably, the thoughts come back. There are good days, and obsessive days, but I think the pain is less intense, but it still feels appalling so it's difficult to judge. Brief update, exMM got in touch, I was polite, quite short with him but freindly, borderline neutral. I don't want to start any emotional talk or say something that might 'upset' him (he jumps into the victim role at any available opportunity, which would keep me in contact with him). We had a few texts, but it ended when he said that he wanted to go on a night out with me and go out drinking and socialising together. Hahaha! As if! We both know very well how that would end. I knew immediately that was the end of the conversation and I haven't replied. This was a few days ago, and I hope his unanswered text will leave him feeling rejected enough to know how things stand. There are still some work issues to be sorted out by text, but these haven't come up yet, but come the beginning of July, he has no reason to be in touch. It was almost a relief to get the hurdle of seeing his name come up on my phone over and done with. It had been 4 weeks and I was anxious about how I would react. But I completely held it together. Do I miss him and long for him? Yes. I miss the great sex and intamacy. I worry that I will never experience those crazy and passionate feelings ever again. I worry that I will never sexually desire someone as much as I do him. But do I want to get back into it, go through all of the pain of being in an A? No. Do I want to have to go through this whole horrific, excruciating cycle of ending the A again, which would inevitably happen? No. Do I want to be sucked into obsessive texting, all day, everyday, analysing, hoping, wondering? No. And this is what keeps me strong. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 I worry that I will never sexually desire someone as much as I do him. I'm willing to bet six months from now, you're know of at least 6 dudes you know for a fact he wouldn't hold a candle to. There is nothing special about this guy except his ability to lie to you. Believe it. Good lovers and sexy people can be found anywhere. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jenkins95 Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 I've been thinking about you LG. Fantastic update - so very proud of you. You showed him who is boss and that you are not prepared to be drawn back into the A, and you did it with dignity. Nothing but the highest of respect to a very highly valued member of LS! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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