Abc12 Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 I will try to make this as short as possible! Been in LDR for 18 months. UK/USA. We see each other every 2 months on average, time varying between 1-3 weeks as I get a lot of holiday compared to her. At first everything was perfect as it always is. About 6 months ago had a couple of issues like every couple does, which made me step back a little bit and think we should spend more actual time together, as initially we said 2 years max before we live together, and it would be her leaving everything to join me. Rcently we started talking about the Summer when she would come for 3 months, then after that the next step would be marriage so she could stay for good. She also wants kids within 3 years (im 29 shes 32). This made me freak out a bit... the thought of her dropping everything, getting married, being together forever. I love her and shes very unique and special. But in my mind i dont want to make a mistake. I am a perfectionist and in my mind I think what if she's not the 'perfect' one due to these few issues. Im not perfect either but she accepts this. Also I have a bad relationship at home with my mum (I will finally move out next month) who over the years I have seen get married and divorced twice, plus more failed relationships. On top of this in general I find it hard to decide things, even what to buy in the supermarket! Always weighing up the options, pros and cons of each making sure I buy the right thing. So in a way I think I would rather we were to fail now, instead of commiting via mariage and her leaving everything to be with me and THEN failing. So sometimes I think its just me and my weird mind. I dont want to lose her. On the other side I think its not fair on her to just keep her waiting...what if I never feel 'ready'? We are currently together in a 3rd country until next week so its very awkward right now and talked about this..but dont know what to do. After we go back would it be best to go on a break and not communicate to give me some time to try and sort myself out? Or is that just delaying the inevitable? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 You have already moved beyond doubt. You know that you don't want to make any definite commitment at the moment. You need to be honest with her about that. You might be able to work things out, if you can communicate about it openly and honestly. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
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