its.just.jo Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 4 months after he walks out i find out he has another women pregnant, already, i asked him yesterday if its true and he admits it (much to my surprise usually he would lie and make me feel like crap for asking questions) I've known there was a possibilty it was true for a couple of weeks so i had that time to process it before i asked him about it so i didnt make a big deal out of it. All he was worried about was who told me, thats only because i found out about it and im sure that really peed him of because hes a very secertive person and hates being found out. I'am hurt because we tried for years to have a baby but what im more hurt about is i feel really disrespected and kind of betrayed that after 11 years he really couldnt give a toss about anything other then himself. It might sound like im being selfish because i probably shouldnt give a crap about it but i just feel hurt that our marriage really didnt mean anything to him and it was so easy to find my replacement, and oven to bake his baby in, so soon, i was able to accept that he had someone else because now he is her problem but now theres a baby its kind of rubbed salt in the wounds. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 Look at this as a blessing. Yes it hurts that you aren't pregnant and the OW is, but LOOK at who he is!! He's so not husband material, he's selfish, a liar, a cheater and someone who is NOT right for you. Him leaving 4 months ago as painful as that was for you has now opened the door for you to grieve the loss, heal and find a fantastic man (when the timing is right and you're ready) to come into your life. Sorry you're hurting and I hope you heal quickly and healthy. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 Yes it hurts that you aren't pregnant and the OW is, but LOOK at who he is!! He's so not husband material, he's selfish, a liar, a cheater and someone who is NOT right for you. Amen. its.just.jo, imagine your hurt and anger now multiplied by the issues involved in having to depend on him for co-parenting and support. Not only isn't he husband material, I doubt he's father material either. Let her find out the hard way. Plenty of time for you to get the things you want with the right person... Mr. Lucky 4 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 Men like him are as useful as chocolate teapot. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author its.just.jo Posted April 12, 2016 Author Share Posted April 12, 2016 You are all very right with what you have said, i look at him in a very different way thats for sure. Im sure in time I'll look back at all this BS and actually feel thankful that he woke me up to the kind of person he really is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 4 months after he walks out i find out he has another women pregnant All he was worried about was who told me, thats only because i found out about it and im sure that really peed him of because hes a very secertive person and hates being found out. I'am hurt because we tried for years to have a baby but what im more hurt about is i feel really disrespected and kind of betrayed that after 11 years he really couldnt give a toss about anything other then himself. whoever told you this painful story, you should cut them off. no news is good news in my opinion. it's over. p.s. maybe the baby isn't his. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author its.just.jo Posted April 12, 2016 Author Share Posted April 12, 2016 whoever told you this painful story, you should cut them off. no news is good news in my opinion. it's over. p.s. maybe the baby isn't his. No one told me i found some information that made me suspicious so i thought instead of assuming i would ask him straight out because i wanted to know and he told me it was true. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 Be glad you never had a kid with him, since now you can cut him off and never speak to him ever again. If you had a kid that would not be possible, he would always be a part of your life forever and ever. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted April 13, 2016 Share Posted April 13, 2016 You are all very right with what you have said, i look at him in a very different way thats for sure. Im sure in time I'll look back at all this BS and actually feel thankful that he woke me up to the kind of person he really is. what are the plans for a divorce? you need one, pronto. in the meantime, maybe try a mantra. i used "it's over, the end". i said it hundreds of times a day. you might want to go and look in the mirror, every time you're in the bathroom, with the light on, and say to your reflection, "i'm worth more". good luck 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted April 13, 2016 Share Posted April 13, 2016 I'm sorry Jo. That really really hurts. Some men just do not attach normally or have any respect for their partners. Clearly he's the type to use one person and screw another. That will likely not change and children don't tend to smarten up people like that. The only surprise here is that he doesn't have a pack of kids all over town. Met a few of those over the years. Eleven years is a long time. Be very kind to yourself about this. This was not your fault and he's really making some very poor choices. What a bad situation to put a child into as well. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author its.just.jo Posted April 13, 2016 Author Share Posted April 13, 2016 what are the plans for a divorce? you need one, pronto. in the meantime, maybe try a mantra. i used "it's over, the end". i said it hundreds of times a day. you might want to go and look in the mirror, every time you're in the bathroom, with the light on, and say to your reflection, "i'm worth more". good luck Unfortunately in the country i live in you have to wait a year before you can file for divorce, i"ve written my story under another thread so there is more then just this thats happened over the past 4 months, after all all that a divorce is defenatly happening thats for sure. A mantra sounds like a great idea, thanks for the tip Link to post Share on other sites
Author its.just.jo Posted April 13, 2016 Author Share Posted April 13, 2016 I'm sorry Jo. That really really hurts. Some men just do not attach normally or have any respect for their partners. Clearly he's the type to use one person and screw another. That will likely not change and children don't tend to smarten up people like that. The only surprise here is that he doesn't have a pack of kids all over town. Met a few of those over the years. Eleven years is a long time. Be very kind to yourself about this. This was not your fault and he's really making some very poor choices. What a bad situation to put a child into as well. My husband is a very selfish and dishonest man, the lies he has told me over the past few months are pretty pathetic. So far there only one child that i know of no doubt there will be more, his choice i guess. He has made quite a few bad choice since he left only due to his own stupidly, the child is going to be the one thats going to suffer having a ****ty irresponsible father like him i kinda feel sorry for it. I have been beating myself up alot over this but i know none of its my fault he made his choices and now he has to live with them, this is my life now so stuff him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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