96Maxwell Posted April 13, 2016 Share Posted April 13, 2016 I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. I was madly in love with him and still do love him but there are some things that are really bothering me and making me less and less attracted to him. I work fulltime and have a job that requires my full attention. I focus on my work and don't take calls from anyone during the day. On my way in on my long commute I speak with him and on the way home. What is bothering me is that he is constantly is accusing me of cheating or having a love at work. He's always asking me who is taking my mind off of him. I can't tell him anything anymore bc he blows up and starts a fight..for example if I run to quick check with a female coworker at lunch..if I mention that I went to quick check he starts in with questions on why I didn't call him. This has been going on quite awhile and I told him tonight that i'm no longer going to keep this a secret. I told him I'm going to tell people what he's doing to me. I have tried breaking up with him and he won't leave. I love him and there is plenty about him that is good but this is eating at me to the point that I'm unhappy and uncomfortable being myself around him and he refuses to stop. He is a good guy and I wish he would understand how this hurts me so bad. Help me... Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 13, 2016 Share Posted April 13, 2016 Breaking up with him was exactly the right thing to do. I'm sure he has some very good traits, but not enough to make this toxic environment acceptable. Regarding him refusing to leave, let's look at the practicalities of your living situation. Do you own your house? Rent? Who's name/s is/are on the lease? etc etc. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 13, 2016 Share Posted April 13, 2016 I just looked up your history for context. I assume this is a new guy and not your ex-husband. If you don't get yourself out of this relationship, history is going to repeat itself. I'm sure your ex-h had some good points too....but look at where that ended. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 96Maxwell Posted April 13, 2016 Author Share Posted April 13, 2016 I appreciate you reading this. Yes, it does feel like history repeating itself. Link to post Share on other sites
yellowhibiscus Posted April 14, 2016 Share Posted April 14, 2016 I was in a 4 year relationship with the same kind of guy. He was very insecure and after a few months of dating was checking my phone, email, etc on a regular basis. He would constantly make comments that made me feel disgusting and like I was a person capable of cheating. He even suggested getting cameras in the bedroom because he thought I was going to cheat on him. Whenever I brought it up to him, he would dismiss it or say someone who reacted the way I did must be guilty. A few months after the break up and I'm still dealing with the distorted reality that he liked to create on a daily basis. It has left me confused, paranoid of doing something wrong, and feeling pretty low. What I've learned is that this is abuse. You should not tolerate his jealousies and insecurities. He needs to work on himself. When I told my ex that he needed help to work on this, he high tailed it out of the relationship so quick and wouldn't apologize for anything. I know I am better off and I'm sure you will be too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted April 14, 2016 Share Posted April 14, 2016 Get this book and read it asap. I imagine you'll spot your guy in there: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men - Kindle edition by Lundy Bancroft. Health, Fitness & Dieting Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com. Link to post Share on other sites
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