Lobouspo Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 What would bother you more, the baggage of dating someone with a kid, or someone who is childless but had had multiple abortions? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 Odd question......why not include someone who had children and gave them up fir adoption?. It doesn't matter either way. Each situation is different. Even even it comes to someone echo is a dingle moth... 1. How involved is dad? 2. How old is the children? 3. How responsible are they? 4, are the looking for money/rescue? There are a ton of other factors. Same true with abortions...was it voluntary ? Was it via the day after pill? Was the pregnancy wanted? Was it caused by unwanted sex? While we are at it what about miscarriages? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 What would bother you more, the baggage of dating someone with a kid, or someone who is childless but had had multiple abortions? What about: One child vs one abortion or multiple children vs multiple abortions On the abortion side of things, how do you figure into the equation a woman who believes her past decisions are none of your business and doesn't tell you about it? Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 Someone who has had multiple abortions would bother me much more than someone actively taking care of their child. **And let's stop changing OP's question lol...it says a child vs. multiple abortions. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
deckard11 Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 Neither one. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 I wish I could breed my dog but I may have to get him cloned. He'll need anesthesia for that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 (edited) So, women who never had kids, it's implied that they had an abortion or many abortions? And, because we never got preggo and/or have kids that we're less dignified than a woman who has kids? I'm like 40, never got preggo and never had an abortion. I believe I'm fertile, but simply was responsible about not getting knocked up. Actually, I'm having my period right now. Spent most of the day on the toilet , am bloated, still have nausea and cravings for greasy food So, I'm sorry for being responsible and not bringing a child in the world when tons of women are either careless about getting knocked up, do it for selfish reasons and/or with a guy who wasn't right to have a kid and/or a family with then, walk around like they're more important than others cuz they did an act that any mammal can do (getting pregnant and birthing a child). Edited April 15, 2016 by Gloria25 1 Link to post Share on other sites
blackcat777 Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 (edited) What kind of question is this? Seriously? Sure hope your condom never rips. Sure hope your woman's shot never stops working. Sure hope that when your wife conceives, the baby isn't diagnosed with something terrible. Sure hope your girl never pokes holes in your condoms or forgets a pill. Sure hope your daughter isn't raped. The morning after pill isn't 100% effective. Sorry all those hard-working single moms who gave up everything to raise a child are cramping your dating pool. Google PASS. Women post-abortion suffer IMMENSELY, physically and psychologically. When you're in a lower socio-economic bracket, every "choice" you have is a stranglehold. It grieves me that our society is like this. Sure, some people need to learn when to wrap it up. But the truth of the matter is, life is immensely more complicated. Edited April 15, 2016 by blackcat777 Link to post Share on other sites
Jabron1 Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 I'm not bringing up another person's kids. So the relations that I have with single mothers are very limited. So, I suppose the second one. But, I'd rather not know... Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 I'll go for the multiple abortion one, since I'm not interested in having kids ad agree with Jabron. Definitely not raising other dude's kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 I would prefer a woman who has had multiple abortions. I don't want children myself and a woman who has had multiple abortions is more likely to agree to one in case of accidental pregnancy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 Google PASS. Women post-abortion suffer IMMENSELY, physically and psychologically. Sorry but it's an extremely sweeping statement to say that women as a whole suffer immense physical and psychological stress after an abortion, many don't. The idea that all women go through untold suffering is one often used by anti abortion activists to say that it's bad for women as well as embryos, but the stats don't suggest that at all. I have no doubt that many women DO suffer afterwards, but by no means all! Every woman responds differently. Some are ecstatically relieved. A recent study showed that 95% of women DON'T regret their abortions (Google 'I don't regret my abortion'). I know that not regretting isn't the same as not suffering but neither side can make sweeping statements that all women do or don't suffer after a termination. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 There is not enough information behind these two life events to make any decisions on a partner. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 As a woman I don't date women. That said, . . . The single mother. Multiple abortions signal irresponsibility & selfishness too me. One abortion is different. Every woman I know who ever had an abortion it had a profound effect on her. I can't imagine the emotional toll multiple procedures would take. Also this person's choices don't align with my moral values. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 What if one of the abortions was due to rape, or one when she was 14, perhaps the other was in her first marriage and based of CVS tests that revealed genetic deformities that meant the child would not make it to full term. Maybe the one who has a child, never told the father and he lives nearby. Or the biodad is a violent criminal. Again not enough information on just the events themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 Sorry but it's an extremely sweeping statement to say that women as a whole suffer immense physical and psychological stress after an abortion, many don't. The idea that all women go through untold suffering is one often used by anti abortion activists to say that it's bad for women as well as embryos, but the stats don't suggest that at all. I have no doubt that many women DO suffer afterwards, but by no means all! Every woman responds differently. Some are ecstatically relieved. A recent study showed that 95% of women DON'T regret their abortions (Google 'I don't regret my abortion'). I know that not regretting isn't the same as not suffering but neither side can make sweeping statements that all women do or don't suffer after a termination. Pretty much all the women I've known who had abortions felt this way and never regretted it one bit. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TheWoman Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 Speaking as a woman who is a single mother and who has had an abortion many years ago. I would definitely date me! Because I am kind, smart, beautiful, fit, sincere, wealthy and funny I am not so sure however I would be interested in anyone who wanted to reduce me to such a question. And certainly no one would enter my life who thought of my children as baggage. So perhaps if you present your question to any woman in either of those categories you may find you no longer need to make that choice. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 Sounds like you're making a lot of presumptions. I'm 63, single, and never had kids, although yes, I certainly did have sex. I also never got pregnant and no abortions. Why? Because I follow doctor's orders on taking birth control. Is there ever an accident? Yes, they say so, although some say the person just missed a pill and doesn't realize it. But yes, if there was an accident, then a person has an abortion, I got no problem with that because I think we get to direct our own lives. Several abortions? Like abortions you have with a doctor in a clinic? Not talking about the morning-after pill? I wouldn't consider getting involved with anyone who had several abortions because they are an irresponsible idiot whose irresponsibility will carry over into all other areas of their life. A single mother, of course, how responsible she is depends on the circumstances. But she's taking care of her kid. She's not going to have much free time. She could use a responsible husband to help out. If you're not that guy, I wouldn't waste her precious time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 Speaking as a woman who is a single mother and who has had an abortion many years ago. I would definitely date me! Because I am kind, smart, beautiful, fit, sincere, wealthy and funny I am not so sure however I would be interested in anyone who wanted to reduce me to such a question. And certainly no one would enter my life who thought of my children as baggage. So perhaps if you present your question to any woman in either of those categories you may find you no longer need to make that choice. Yeah gee, what if the woman was both a single parent AND had had multiple abortions? Might as well just throw that woman on the garbage heap. Would you rather date a man who's ducking his alimony payments or one who's a serial rapist? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
hasaquestion Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 The "serial abortionist". I really don't care if someone has abortions. It's in the past, over with, and it was probably a smart thing to do if you step back and look at the pros and cons. Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 Multiple abortions signal irresponsibility & selfishness too me. One abortion is different. ^ i agree. MULTIPLE abortions mean irresponsibility + using abortion as a form of contraception. sure, your condom might break. your pill might fail you... but the chances of it happening MULTIPLE times? slim. so multiple abortions usually means not taking care of birth control. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 As a woman I don't date women. That said, . . . The single mother. Multiple abortions signal irresponsibility & selfishness too me. One abortion is different. Every woman I know who ever had an abortion it had a profound effect on her. I can't imagine the emotional toll multiple procedures would take. Also this person's choices don't align with my moral values. I second this. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 I'd be happy to date a single dad, but probably would never think to ask if a man had impregnated several women who aborted. How do people feel about that guy? 8 Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 Yeah gee, what if the woman was both a single parent AND had had multiple abortions? Might as well just throw that woman on the garbage heap. Would you rather date a man who's ducking his alimony payments or one who's a serial rapist? This feels like a round of FMK. We need a third option to make it a real game. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 I've dated a single mother. I don't recall asking a woman if she had an abortion, much less several of them. I can imagine at least one in my past has had an abortion. Never considered it to be my business. We all have a past. I try to meet people where they are today. Hope they give me the same courtesy and consideration. I could date either. Or neither. It all depends on how compatible she is with me at this point in time. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
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