Mindy6803 Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 He was on me for a while to hook up. And we haven been 2-3 times a week for the past 2-3 weeks. He invited me to a concert last week instead of hooking up like we planned but has been sketch ever since. I didn't really hang with him because some of my friends were there and he made a big deal about his last FWB catching feelings for him. He's seen me hang out with other guys so he's knows that's not the case with me. He made a comment that night about "is that all I mean to you?" which I'm not sure if he was being sarcastic or not. Then later that night when I said I had to go home he said "so you're just gonna f**k me and leave?". When I said yes, he said hell yeah he wished more people would do that. Ever since the concert he's texted me to hook up then bailed. Now he bailed again when I asked. Is he not interested any more? Wondering if I should just stop asking? Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 I would try talking to him. Even in FWB situations communication is key. Personally, I would say something along the lines of, hey, I just wanted to make sure we are still on the same page. I have enjoyed hooking up with you, and would like to continue to do what we have been doing. I know this stuff can get complicated when it shouldn't - so wanted to make sure we are seeing eye to eye. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 I guess he is the one catching feelings OR he doesn't like the fact you hang about with other guys. Some guys like the thought of a FWB, and the freedom it gives THEM to see other women, but they want the woman/women they are sleeping with to be exclusive to them only. But as he invited you to a concert instead of hooking up, I guess he has some feelings. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 He was on me for a while to hook up. And we haven been 2-3 times a week for the past 2-3 weeks. He invited me to a concert last week instead of hooking up like we planned but has been sketch ever since. I didn't really hang with him because some of my friends were there and he made a big deal about his last FWB catching feelings for him. He's seen me hang out with other guys so he's knows that's not the case with me. He made a comment that night about "is that all I mean to you?" which I'm not sure if he was being sarcastic or not. Then later that night when I said I had to go home he said "so you're just gonna f**k me and leave?". When I said yes, he said hell yeah he wished more people would do that. Ever since the concert he's texted me to hook up then bailed. Now he bailed again when I asked. Is he not interested any more? Wondering if I should just stop asking? Well you have definitely caught feelings for him and that's why you're making this thread. I would say start seeing other guys immediately because this guy has told you he doesn't want to get serious and already you are wondering about little things he says. He is more than likely hooking up with other girls and telling all of you the same thing. He doesn't want anyone catching feelings for him. Run now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mindy6803 Posted April 15, 2016 Author Share Posted April 15, 2016 Well you have definitely caught feelings for him and that's why you're making this thread. I would say start seeing other guys immediately because this guy has told you he doesn't want to get serious and already you are wondering about little things he says. He is more than likely hooking up with other girls and telling all of you the same thing. He doesn't want anyone catching feelings for him. Run now. Not really. I've just had one catch feelings before and it ended badly. Trying to avoid the same pit fall. But yes, I do notice when he acts out of whack because I don't want it to happen again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mindy6803 Posted April 15, 2016 Author Share Posted April 15, 2016 I would try talking to him. Even in FWB situations communication is key. Personally, I would say something along the lines of, hey, I just wanted to make sure we are still on the same page. I have enjoyed hooking up with you, and would like to continue to do what we have been doing. I know this stuff can get complicated when it shouldn't - so wanted to make sure we are seeing eye to eye. I want to ask but I don't want to make it weirder if I'm wrong. He's a cool person and I have fun hooking up with him. But I know I'm not in the place to be with someone right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 He is interested in you, but not very. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 I want to ask but I don't want to make it weirder if I'm wrong. He's a cool person and I have fun hooking up with him. But I know I'm not in the place to be with someone right now. Keep it simple - "we still cool?" And that you want to hook up again. I know FWB deals can be - tricky. A "real" relationship you talk things out more, but even with FWB, you have to communicate some, attempting to be a mind reader rarely works. I have literally started one of these conversations with "look, I know "this" shouldn't ever get complicated" and went on to state what was bothering me (weird hot / cold - getting jerked around in my case), and said I just needed to air what was going through my head - and he said he appreciated it, gave me a solid answer, and things were smoother after that, because we reaffirmed our expectations and boundaries. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 I said I had to go home he said "so you're just gonna f**k me and leave?". When I said yes, he said hell yeah he wished more people would do that. This statement tells me he is not getting serious and was glad you were there just for the sex. He likes that attitude because it matches his. Ever since the concert he's texted me to hook up then bailed. Now he bailed again when I asked. Is he not interested any more? Wondering if I should just stop asking? You asking this question makes me think you are getting serious about this guy. Also as RecentChange suggested just slightly clarify with him that you two aren't getting serious yet you are afraid he will think you're weird if you ask. It's only a simple question. Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted April 16, 2016 Share Posted April 16, 2016 I want to ask but I don't want to make it weirder if I'm wrong. He's a cool person and I have fun hooking up with him. But I know I'm not in the place to be with someone right now. Heh. Just ask. I have asked a couple of FWBs the same thing, if I thought they were jerking me around and being wishy washy. One of them was being non committal on making plans and it sounded like an excuse, so I just straight up asked if we were still on the same page, as I didn't want to be insisting on meeting up if he wasn't into it anymore. The other was being a bit of a dick replying to texts. Nothing major, but a definite shift in the communication pattern we'd had until then. So I just asked if things were still cool between us. Easy, simple, it saved me wondering and posting a thread on LS It doesn't have to be a massive heart to heart! A simple "are we still on the same page?" is more than enough! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mindy6803 Posted April 24, 2016 Author Share Posted April 24, 2016 Keep it simple - "we still cool?" And that you want to hook up again. I know FWB deals can be - tricky. A "real" relationship you talk things out more, but even with FWB, you have to communicate some, attempting to be a mind reader rarely works. I have literally started one of these conversations with "look, I know "this" shouldn't ever get complicated" and went on to state what was bothering me (weird hot / cold - getting jerked around in my case), and said I just needed to air what was going through my head - and he said he appreciated it, gave me a solid answer, and things were smoother after that, because we reaffirmed our expectations and boundaries. Ok. So I asked him what was up because he hit my up again and flaked. He said he was trying to be considerate because I was doing homework and once he thought my kids were home (asleep of course). He said he was trying to be more considerate, respectful and responsible. He'd had "revelations" but would tell me in person. I told him if he didn't want to hook up/hang out anymore to just tell me. He said no he definitely wanted to hang out. But when I said ok I thought he just didn't want to hang out anymore but I was wrong he said I wasn't wrong. He wanted me to come meet him at a concert and bugged me all night about where I was and got an attitude when I didn't show. He tried to hit me up twice after than but flaked again. I really don't get this dude. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mindy6803 Posted April 24, 2016 Author Share Posted April 24, 2016 ........................................................... Link to post Share on other sites
Bluboy Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 I don't know why people are afraid to tell you the obvious things! Find a respectable relationship and stop this prostitution camouflage as fwb! What has become of our society lately. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mindy6803 Posted April 26, 2016 Author Share Posted April 26, 2016 He was on me for a while to hook up. And we haven been 2-3 times a week for the past 2-3 weeks. He invited me to a concert last week instead of hooking up like we planned but has been sketch ever since. I didn't really hang with him because some of my friends were there and he made a big deal about his last FWB catching feelings for him. He's seen me hang out with other guys so he's knows that's not the case with me. Lately, he's been acting weird. He tries to hold my hand when we're in the car or during s*x. He makes comments like asking if I'd told my mom about him or "is that all I mean to you?" if I make a s*x joke. He asks if I really have to go when I leave after we hook up but then makes a big deal about it being great that I don't stay. The past few times he's hit me up then bailed last minute. I told him if he didn't want to hook up anymore it was ok to tell me. He said no that he definitely did. He had some "revelations" and wanted to be more considerate and respectful. But that he wanted to tell me the rest in person. Since then he texts me almost every day asking me what I'm doing, who I'm hanging with, etc and making "plans" that he wants to hook up, but never comes through. I finally turned him down when he asked again and he's been quiet. What gives with this guy? Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted April 26, 2016 Share Posted April 26, 2016 What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
Shanex Posted April 26, 2016 Share Posted April 26, 2016 He seems pretty much like an up and down person Do you want to put up with that much mood swing? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mindy6803 Posted April 26, 2016 Author Share Posted April 26, 2016 What do you think? I don't know what to think. He goes from one extreme to the other. Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted April 26, 2016 Share Posted April 26, 2016 He wants a full relationship. He should have been clear about that from the beginning and is now upset he's only a FWB. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 26, 2016 Share Posted April 26, 2016 His comment about deciding to be more respectful means he is trying to stop just hooking up and has caught some feelings for you. That's fine as long as you have some for him. Guess he'll tell you in person. If you like him back that way, that would be nice. It's nice that he has curtailed the "just sex" in order to see if it can be more. But if you're not interested, you'll probably lose your FWB. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted April 26, 2016 Share Posted April 26, 2016 (edited) That's the thing with FWBs. Hard to just have sex with someone and treat them like a blow up doll. My last FWB and I went out on dates, shopping, he brought me flowers, slept over, did and offered to do handiguy stuff for me....but he was clear that we were just FWBs. My current guy I'm trying to keep it simple, but hard just to be a robot with someone. So far we do have small chit-chat and kiss in/out the bedroom...and, we both like things about each other...couldn't get horny for him if we didn't. But I know that we don't have a future. So, with your guy, I guess it's hard for him to not treat you like a person he'd date - yet he still may not want more than FWBs. Edited April 26, 2016 by Gloria25 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shanex Posted April 26, 2016 Share Posted April 26, 2016 That's the thing with FWBs. Hard to just have sex with someone and treat them like a blow up doll. My last FWB and I went out on dates, shopping, he brought me flowers, slept over, did and offered to do handiguy stuff for me....but he was clear that we were just FWBs. I also treat FWB that way, I can't help it, I can't be mean or distant. I treat them the way I treat or used to treat ex girlfriends, some gifts, doing good deeds, going for a walk somewhere. It can be confusing for my FWB because I came across and act like a boyfriend. Maybe I should develop some bitterness. A tad off topic but I'm the same with F--buddies, polite and courteous, have a coffee, discuss, cuddle. It's not just empty sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mindy6803 Posted April 27, 2016 Author Share Posted April 27, 2016 That's the thing with FWBs. Hard to just have sex with someone and treat them like a blow up doll. My last FWB and I went out on dates, shopping, he brought me flowers, slept over, did and offered to do handiguy stuff for me....but he was clear that we were just FWBs. My current guy I'm trying to keep it simple, but hard just to be a robot with someone. So far we do have small chit-chat and kiss in/out the bedroom...and, we both like things about each other...couldn't get horny for him if we didn't. But I know that we don't have a future. So, with your guy, I guess it's hard for him to not treat you like a person he'd date - yet he still may not want more than FWBs. I'm not trying to treat him like a robot either. I don't mind hanging out with him. We don't cuddle and stuff after. Usually because I'm short on time. The one time he did stay he slept with his head on me. I just thought it was strange that he is asking things like did I tell my mom (he knows her) and acted like he was calling to tell her. I can't ever tell if his comments are real or he's being sarcastic. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 I'm not trying to treat him like a robot either. I don't mind hanging out with him. We don't cuddle and stuff after. Usually because I'm short on time. The one time he did stay he slept with his head on me. I just thought it was strange that he is asking things like did I tell my mom (he knows her) and acted like he was calling to tell her. I can't ever tell if his comments are real or he's being sarcastic. Well, what do you want? Are you happy with way things are now? Could you be happy whether or not he wanted more? Are you afraid to bring this up in fear you're gonna mess up the current good deal/arrangement? I feel ya cuz you sorta wanna know where you stand, cuz maybe he's looking to see if you feel the same way before he puts his heart out to you and you're open to it turning into something more if that's the case? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 Mindy6803;6882167 What gives with this guy? He says things he knows women want to hear, even FWBs. He flakes because something else comes along that he thinks is more interesting. Didn't you say you didn't want him to get serious about you? Well I would start seeing other guys if I were you and not worry about this one so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 He says things he knows women want to hear, even FWBs. He flakes because something else comes along that he thinks is more interesting. Didn't you say you didn't want him to get serious about you? Well I would start seeing other guys if I were you and not worry about this one so much. Why do people assume that these guys are sweet talking us cuz they wanna keep the sex coming? The things I do with them are not to keep them coming around for more, I mean it and it feels good. My current guy, he is freakin great in bed, when he's doing this and that I'm like "dang". I'm not saying it to placate him...and I enjoy kissing him and genuinely give a hoot how his day's going. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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