6/17/05 - I officailly give up on women.

[Xilgrin]

<essay>Hi

 

Just though I would say that the nice guys never get the girls because they never take the chances that are offered to them. It is usually a whiles later that you think 'urgh, she commented on me as a stranger and I said nothing in return'.

 

Hopeless - Sounds like you are in a rut, joining societies (sport/philosphical/drinking ) does help self confidence because you go there ON YOUR OWN! You dont have friends to talk to so you HAVE to talk to people you just don't know. Plus they are all in the society and ergo you have something to talk about. "ah so how did you become interested in...?"

 

A good idea for meeting people/confidence gaining/performing arts type thing I had a couple of weeks ago:

 

Mr Onion (an onion with a face drawn on it...)

 

Yes sounds bad doesn't it?! Basically you anthropomorphise a vegetable (anything really). for instance Mr Onion is a member of the MVP (Vegetable Parliament), and campaigns about the banning of pickling and the need for a vegetable vote.

 

Now, i realise this is strange but it is funny and that is how you break the ice. You don't need to be an a**h*** with corny lines, just be original.

 

Uh, I am English andeccentric by the UK's standards btw...

 

Confidence is getting the gumshum to actually go up to people and use this on them. In fact, I have put today down as my first try... If you can do that, as a challenge, you have confidence.

 

girls can smell confidence a mile off, but they also smell the desperate ones as well (my mate)... being relaxed isn't easy - youust have to learn to be apathetic! That way if you get rejected you don't dwell and spiral in on it, you brush it off casually. try a retort comment like, if she is taken for example, 'lucky guy, see you around' because you have taken it nobly.

 

Good luck!

 

</essay>

[Weird]

I am done with women as well. I have come to the conclusion that I simply am not allowed to have the relationship part of my life fufilled.

 

I feel I have confidence but I think more than that I dont like to play f'in games and dont like to waste my time and that right there leads to me not having a desire or participation in "the chase" of love/women or whatever the heck someone wants to call it. Whenever I decide to say "fug it" and be active in trying to find someone it ends up being a waste of my time and all that does is frustrate me more and turn me off from women even more which BTW I am right now.

 

My problem is I find most women (well at least women in thier 20s) to be full of ****. They say one thing and do another and I see this and it just bugs me. A woman will say stuff like

 

"oh I want a good guy who will treat me right"

 

and stuff like that and they end up with someone who is the total opposite and I see this and think to myself "wtf." Is it that the majority of the women who do this are just too easily duped by guys or are they just really looking for a guy that has physical appearance that gets them wet between the legs? Surely they arent judging the guy based on his personality or status because I see women with guys who are flat out pieces of trash and have nothing going for them except possible physical sex appeal.

 

Now I am a good guy. I can say everything below without an ego because I am just telling the truth. I'm honest, mature, funny, highly intellgient, caring, athletic, thoughtful, good with kids, am at least avg looking, etc. I have a good family too and have awesome morals and values. If one is to go by what most women say they want in a man then I am almost the perfect guy and I would also be an amazing father. Seriously. My biggest shortcoming is I am a picky eater. I am serious, that is my biggest shortcoming. My only other real shortcoming is I see the world for the reality it is (meaning I see how so many things/people are messed up so I'm not some big dreamer thinking life is always peachy) although I dont consider this a negative as I am just seeing the world for what it is and dont try and mask things.

 

Other than those 2 things I am a great guy yet it isnt like I have women beating down my door to get to know me better. Of the girls who have shown some interest they all have some issues that makes them not a viable option...I guess when I think about it, I am somewhat picky but still, not like my pickiness/high standards are tattooed on my forehead so that shouldnt prevent any interest. hehe

 

I dont buy the theory that women just care about money/material things because if they did I'd be hounded. I have a nice house now and am moving into a large house in a couple months, I drive an expensive luxury car, I have a lot of toys/gadgets, have the financial means to buy most stuff that I may desire or that a potential g/f or whatever would want and I have access to stuff/lifestyle that most people never would guess they could be a part of yet all that doesnt attract the ladies so again, I dont buy into it. If it did then when I get out of my luxury sedan at the marina and step onto my family's 50' motoryacht I'd have some of the girlies in the marina coming up to the yacht but it has never happened nor will it ever happen because money and junk isnt the main thing women are first attracted to, at least from my experience. Now it isnt like I go around and flash whatever stuff I have...I dont and am loooow key because the junk I own or have access to doesnt make me the person I am and if I was a prick but had the same lifestyle I'd still be a prick. My point was to simply say that I dont think women seek out money and junk.

 

However, having said all that, that stuff just adds into the package I offer and it makes things even funnier to me about how I cant seem to find a great woman to be with. I mean I often will think about this stuff and honestly laugh to myself at how much I can give a woman and how happy I could prolly make any woman yet it isn't happening and how many of those women will go and find guys who will cheat on them and treat them like crap and wonder why they can't find a great guy...well hell, I am out there as are many other guys like me.

 

It is frustrating to know I am a great guy and not have anyone yet know of guys who dont offer nearly as much are with some decent women. It ain't right or fair but nothing I can do. It is as if beause I was blessed with everything else I have in my life I just am not allowed to have that great woman I would like to have. Man...I will say though that at least I have the qualities I do and have the stuff in my life I have because if I didnt then life woud really suck not having substance (personality, intellience, etc) stuff or a woman and to be honest, if me being with someone meant I had to give up the stuff (my nice guy qualities, my intelligence, my toys, etc) I have I wouldnt do it...I refuse to make myself an inferior person (not be a good decent guy and be a "bad boy/jerk") to become more desirable.

 

So yeah, I am done with women unless one amazing one that has all the qualities I seek pops into my life but that won't happen and I refuse to settle for anything less than what I want. In my 26.8 years of life I have only met two females who came close to having it all. One was my ex and that ended and the other is a great woman I actually met on this site but she has since vanished and I wouldnt be surprised if somehow she got hooked up with some prick who lives near her as she was getting depressed by the distance stuff between us when we last chatted a few months ago

 

Damn women...gah. Oh well, their loss. heh

 

Sorry for my rant and I may come off as having a huge ego but I dont. I merely state the truth. I know my strengths and weaknesses and IMO my strengths far outweigh my weaknesses.

[Mary3]

I think you come off as arrogant and so full of how great you are and why aren't women knocking on your door ?

 

Your post is full of hostility. I can gaurantee you that I have never even met you nor talked to you by phone but would definately not be interested in someone such as you.

 

Do you have any humbleness at all in there ?

 

This is one woman who is not impressed with all your toys and goodies and good charms.

 

What women * really * want above all else is someone who is not soooooooooo stuck on himself and THATS why you cant get close to anyone for too long.

 

I can speculate they grow bored with you. Now lets try to find some real stuff about you that you would be willing to tell your next prospect.

 

IE : I am afraid of spiders

I really dont put the seat down

I feel like a human

 

We would much rather see ALL sides of you not just your Plasma TV and your checking balance.

 

This is harsh but I tell you thats a big turn off when men tout their horns.

 

Whats sooooo much greater is someone who says : " Hey I am going to tell you absolute ugly truth about ALL of me..

 

Humbleness rocks !

[RecordProducer]

Mary, you must've had a bad day on September 11!

I don't see anything wrong with what Weird said. Yet I have a lot of comments.

 

I am a very attractive, educated person and people tell me all the time that I am intelligent and funny. I am always hit by the kind of men I shouldn't even look at. Since I was a teenager until two years ago, I hadn't met one single normal guy, despite of the with very low criteria I had developed due to the circumstances at the time.

 

So what happened two years ago is: I changed my environment. Not literally, but I tried the dating sites and started meeting foreign people. I met a guy and we had a relationship that didn't work out, but he was much better than my ex-partners. A year ago I met the love of my life. He is from the US.

So what I am saying is:

 

1. It's normal to meet the wrong people all the time during an extended period of time until you change something.

 

2. You said that girls hook up with bad guys. Well you happen to meet bad girls all the time. Try another circles of people, such as libraries, museums, live theater, sports events, dating sites, whatever new where good girls are more likely to hang out.

 

3. The bad-guy theory is worn out and in my opinion untrue. Women like self-confident guys and you can be very self-confident and nice at the same time. My BF is a good example. He is kinda old-fashioned (real gentleman to everyone), has good manners, always cheerful, passionate, and treats me like a queen. He controls every situation with success. I feel like a real lady with him.

 

I recommend that style for everyone and the good news is that you can allow yourself to "pretend" you are like that, because it's seen as good manners and proper behavior. Kinda like when someone farts in your presence and you pretend to not notice that. You don't have to be yourself and brutally honest and say "oh, for god's sake, stop farting already, you made the whole room stink!"

 

If you smile a lot even when you're down, if you act optimistic even when you don't have faith, if you keep your politeness ALWAYS no matter how much you want to punch someone in the face, you will be considered a well-balanced, self-controlled, and self-secure person.

 

Every woman wants a knight and they are supposed to be nice. However you must retain your self-respect at any given moment. Being kind is a part of it - you treat people the way you want them to treat you. Humility is not necessary. You must bring joy in the girl's life if you want her to fall in love with you. She must feel safe and secure with you, feel like she can trust you and that you can lead her.

 

If you show that you get upset and frustrated easily, she will see your weakness and run away. Sense of humor is also very important. If you don't have it then at least laugh at all her jokes and learn a few good jokes. And don't forget: smile, smile, and smile...

 

You have to keep yourself on your toes all the time. Fake it 'till you make it!

[Mary3]

You are right RP , I must have had a bad day lol. But honestly how would you feel about a guy who talked non stop on your date about how great he was....Would you not wonder if he was going to get around to asking about YOU ?

 

I'm not saying he is doing that but if he * is * then don't you think he needs to start focusing on the aspects outside of himself ?

[RecordProducer]

LOL. He was just saying that to us. I believe we are all work in progress and although we should be aware of our qualitites, we should be aware of our weaknesses too and work on them.