tashcha Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 Hi im a new person to the board the people i know think that i nag them about this subject but i really need guidence. anyway i started going out with this guy from work about 4 years ago. at this time i was planning on going to Europe to live with my sister but he said that we should try and see where it goes. my boyfriend is a chrisitian who has indian parents. they beleive in no sex before marraige nor moving out before marriage. we are both 24 and i am currently still studying law but he is now working as an engineer with a good salary. i have given up going to the university i want because i would have to be a part from him and i no longer speak to my father due to racist issues. the problem i have is that i love him more than anything and want to marry him. he tells me he wants to marry me but not now. he says that he is too young. i know he would never cheat on me that is not the issue. i jsut want to know if im being unreasonable that i have been with a guy for 4 years given up everything in my life that i have always wanted and dont live with him and have sex to want more. please help me tashcha Link to post Share on other sites
guestww Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 You're not being unreasonable at all. You've given up alot to be with him, and he needs to give you some sort of definate committment. The problem is, he may not be able to give you what you want. I'm not saying he won't stay with you forever, but life is so unpredictable! Feelings can change, situations change. It's something neither you or he can control unfortunately. You're willing to do all the bending, giving up, changing and molding so life together will work. What is he giving to you in exchange? Not too much. Does he realize how hard it was for you to not be with your sister? Does he know your heart is probably breaking because you don't have your dad in your life. To me, that's ALOT to give up! I hope he gives you the committment you deserve. Keep on posting, everybody is helpful here. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 I would make sure that his parents won't have an issue with him marrying someone outside of his race. I'd hate to see you sacrifice all this and then find out a few years later that he can't marry you because his parents won't accept it. My advice, don't sacrifice what will improve your future for uncertainty. Best of luck Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 You should talk to him. Let him know you're ready for the next step and if he's not then perhaps you should two should go your seperate ways. No one is really wrong in this situation. It could just be a case of two people at different places in their life. Talk with him and let him know everything you've said here. Let him know that you want marriage and not way down the road but soon. You've given him 4 years, if he doesn't know by now its not unreasonable to want to move on. Especially considering you live apart and are not sexually active. Try to find out why he wants to wait longer. Maybe you can work something out. Link to post Share on other sites
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