hasaquestion Posted April 16, 2016 Posted April 16, 2016 (edited) At a coffee shop right now. The girl I was talking to until five minutes ago when she left seemed very interested in chatting. But... at one point she described someone as "girlfriend" and I got gun-shy from asking for her number. Not in a conclusive manner ("my girlfriend was visiting") The fact that she was a stunner (at least in my opinion) didn't help my nerves. How likely is it that I messed up? I mean, had she not said that (and until she did) I figured she was interested in me. She seemed nervous but in the kind of way that girls are when interested. And she definitely lingered to chat. At one point I was like "you should be on your way" and she said no its fine I can stick around. She kept trying to fill the quiet pauses and she was beaming/fidgeting when we made eye contact. Was it respectful of me to not ask for her number? The obvious implication being because I'm interested in taking her out for drinks? Or did I mess this one up? Had she not used the word "girlfriend" I would have been like this is a no-doubter, all the signals are there, etc. But she used that word! Edited April 16, 2016 by hasaquestion
losangelena Posted April 16, 2016 Posted April 16, 2016 You mean, you're wondering if she said "girlfriend" to describe her romantic partner or her platonic bestie? I refer to my platonic female friends as "girlfriends" sometimes, yes. Does it matter? Ask her anyway. If there is a misunderstanding and she's into women, she'll explain. 6
Author hasaquestion Posted April 16, 2016 Author Posted April 16, 2016 You mean, you're wondering if she said "girlfriend" to describe her romantic partner or her platonic bestie? I refer to my platonic female friends as "girlfriends" sometimes, yes. Does it matter? Ask her anyway. If there is a misunderstanding and she's into women, she'll explain. Yeah that's exactly what I mean. And you are right. Now that I can think straight again it's obvious I should have asked anyway. She was just so damn hot I dorked out. She did say she'll be coming back tomorrow probably.
losangelena Posted April 16, 2016 Posted April 16, 2016 Yeah that's exactly what I mean. And you are right. Now that I can think straight again it's obvious I should have asked anyway. She was just so damn hot I dorked out. She did say she'll be coming back tomorrow probably. Ha, well that's good! A second shot—give it a go! 2
Author hasaquestion Posted April 16, 2016 Author Posted April 16, 2016 Ha, well that's good! A second shot—give it a go! It'll be obvious why I came back but who cares. She looked amazing and had some wits too. Business in the front, party in the back. Crazy how nervous one can get talking to someone who at the end of the day is just another human being. 1
jen1447 Posted April 16, 2016 Posted April 16, 2016 I have Girlfriend type girlfriends and I still call my regular girlfriends girlfriends. So I wouldn't give it any particular weight, no. Good luck tomorrow.
Methodical Posted April 17, 2016 Posted April 17, 2016 I understand your concern and concur with the others. She may have thought had she said "my friend" that you would assume she was referring to a male friend/partner. She tried to keep the conversation flowing and volunteered that you'd be able to find her there tomorrow. Given those indicators, I think she's interested in you. As LA said, worst case scenario, she'll define her orientation if necessary. Go for it and good luck.
Tayla Posted April 17, 2016 Posted April 17, 2016 Lol! I must be really old when I read or hear "my gf is visting" or my friend is in town for the week, it meant our monthly had come to visit. so leave it to me to take this current conversation into an old phrase us ladies used to say. ... So onto this post: sure I call my lady friends, gf's ... Just as I call my male friends... Guy friends... And oddly they appreciate that I acknowledge their gender and the friendship.
Author hasaquestion Posted April 18, 2016 Author Posted April 18, 2016 I understand your concern and concur with the others. She may have thought had she said "my friend" that you would assume she was referring to a male friend/partner. She tried to keep the conversation flowing and volunteered that you'd be able to find her there tomorrow. Given those indicators, I think she's interested in you. As LA said, worst case scenario, she'll define her orientation if necessary. Go for it and good luck. She wasn't kidding, was there working when I got in. Chatted briefly and arranged drinks this Wednesday. We'll see how it goes. 3
Sunberry Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 Yeah, sometimes. But then there is always someone who asks "Wait, girl who is a friend or your literal girlfriend?". So, I've gotten to a point where I just use friend or clarify right after I say "girlfriend".
BlueIris Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 I call my female friends girlfriends. If someone's concern is whether I'm having sex with someone, it's fun to be ambiguous. 1
candie13 Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 hahaha, I call my friends girlfriends allllll the time !
mrs rubble Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 I call my platonic female friends "girlfriends". I've kind of noticed lately that many of my gay friends (male and female) refer to their significant other as "partner" rather than girlfriend or boyfriend.
MissBee Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 You mean, you're wondering if she said "girlfriend" to describe her romantic partner or her platonic bestie? I refer to my platonic female friends as "girlfriends" sometimes, yes. Does it matter? Ask her anyway. If there is a misunderstanding and she's into women, she'll explain. Ditto. It's a pretty common way to refer to your friends really. But the easiest thing would have been asking her out. If she meant her romantic gf then she'd have let you know and that would have been that. If not though and she was interested, you'd have a date.
Author hasaquestion Posted April 27, 2016 Author Posted April 27, 2016 Ditto. It's a pretty common way to refer to your friends really. But the easiest thing would have been asking her out. If she meant her romantic gf then she'd have let you know and that would have been that. If not though and she was interested, you'd have a date. Well I know she's not a lesbian now. Not sure where this is going but so far so good. I'm curious if she only came back again on Sunday to give me a chance to ask her out.
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