I'm the reobound guy but i know it from the start

[stamped]

Hello everyone,

 

I met this girl Lucie in december, when she has just break up with her boyfriend. we met by a friend we had in common at Lucie birthday party, we talked a little that night and the day after my friend tell me that Lucie was really happy to met me and she hope to see me again and wanted my phone number.

 

So two week later and after some date i'm with her in her bed and we know we're going to have fun but just before we start she stop me because she want to talk about our relation, she tell me that her mind was not clear since she just broke up with her boyfriend but she know she didn't want to be in relation for now, so we can date and sleep together but it's not a real relation and i accept it

 

four month passed since and it's was four really great month but the last week i had a bad feeling, i talk with her about it and she explain to me that her ex was still on her mind despite all the bad thing he did to her and we should stop dating because she doesn't know if she want to get back with him or not.

the thing is in this four month i have totally fall in love with her and i'm a complete waste since monday when we stop seeing each other

 

do you think there is still a chance for me to try the real thing with her someday when her mind was clear or if she go back with her ex and they break up again ? or did i wast my only chance by jumping to fast in a false relation ?

 

ps : sorry for my english it is not my mother tongue

[Michaelroyale]

Hi there l would leave well alone at the moment give her space unfortunately you were in a rebound relationship..you replaced the ex for a time..life's a book of learning and growing so give her time and space to get her emotions under control.

Don't chase her just support her and who knows..best of luck..

[stamped]

thank you for your reply, i'm feeling a little better by talking about it.

 

I have one more question, i know i'm going to see her again in two weeks at a party and we are going to talk. Should i be honest with her about the fact that i don't want to be her friend because if things didn't go well with her ex i want to give us another chance (if we become friend it can lead me to the "friend-zone") or should i just don't talk about it and try to avoid her at this party ?

[cj_cj]

Hi, look at my post old admirer.

 

This happened to me - I could give you my advice but it is hard and I have realised this. I would become more slightly more distant and concentrate on your life. Do things go to the gym/study/get an additional job/save more. Do things that make your life better.

 

The girl I liked it took her 3 years to get over a 6 year+ relationship. In that time, I couldn't wait forever and she is now in a relationship for 1 1/2 years and I moved away and completed a degree. That is hard for me. I made it worse by really letting her know i liked her. She had a good few rebounds relationships.

 

I always believe that she was putting me off as she likes me deep down more than the rebounds - now I thank myself that I was not one of her rebounds since they are now "friends". I think she liked me more than that as crazy as that sounds. I believe that there was her ex, me and then her rebounds...

 

I would say distance yourself concentrate on your life but just be there at a distance to her - show her that you are good. The best way to be is confident and going up in the world. This is how the girl I liked wanted me originally - I still believe she could come back if her new relationship had issues. Why do I believe this? Because my life is improving and is starting to have some excitement and she maybe hearing this through the odd person.

 

If she has issues with her new relationship and I am improving and I am not her friend. I will be the person she liked at the beginning and her rebounds are now good friends.

 

Which would you prefer? That is a hard question as I am slightly jealous of the rebound guys as they had her for some time, but I am a man moving to new and better things. I'm sure the rebound guys want her as more than a friend.

 

I am in the same pain, my friend. A few people told me if you tell a woman you like them all the balls are in their court this was one of the mistakes I made - but I was never her friend or a rebound - never once. I believe me and her were a match from the start which never worked out due to her dealing with her problems and me moving on in life.

 

By the way, she will approach you again even if distant. Mine always comes and stands next to me and wants to talk to me.

 

 

In other words, if my life is dead confident and she genuinely wants to chance you and is single again - she is back.

Edited April 18, 2016 by cj_cj

[Michaelroyale]

Hi stamped the previous post gives great advice don't chase be confident and don't come over as needy...loves never simple especially when there's an ex....

Best of luck

[cj_cj]

Another good thing you can do is be nice to her friends...

 

With my circumstances, me and her best friends (who she hang around with ALOT) didn't like each other - actually more she didn't like me and saw me a threat. Mine came to her senses and does not speak to her anymore... this also went in my favour in the last year(s). In actual fact, her best friend did her damage as I ultimately moved on to in life (and I had alot to offer) - this was another of her issues while rebounding.

[cj_cj]

Also, from my own experience, I would avoid telling people who have or will have direct contact with her you like her, another of my mistakes.

 

And try to stay positive - personally, I get negative seeing the woman I like in a committed relationship with another guy 1 1/2 years (as well as watching her rebounds - I have seen her facebook only days ago which kills me and I get depressed - it is now blocked and I am never looking again), I keep saying to myself that it is over (which it probably is in my case) but you are better off not thinking about it as you cannot read their minds or the future. Stay busy and positive. The best way is to not think too much. Keep calm distant and stay positive hopefully, you will not be in the same position as me. The best women came to me when I never thought about a relationship at all - just got on with my life (being busy as I mentioned in first post). I know that if mine was ever single again this is the optimum now and better for my life as a whole. You do not want to be in this position I am in - so take my advice wisely. Part of the reason I got depressed is because I am a decent good looking guy, not an arsehole who sleeps around - have a good job, own my place, am ambitious and I really cares about her and wanted to help her. This rips me apart as guys like me are not easy to find at all - she knows this deep down I'm sure. I actually always know she would struggle - but yet she is settling in a committed relationship a guy who could not offer what I could offer - it kills me and it is over as we have both changed over the last 6 years partly due to the fact she had issues and partly my fault, there were other complications which I will not go into.

 

On another note, it is very easy for me to become friends with the girl that you are not friends with as long as there are mutual friends. So in my opinion distant is better, unless you want to have her for a while then that is fine (I also regret this a little - but then again I saw her as more than that which makes me the bigger guy).

 

That was another of my issues that I now realised - I always negative when a really nice good hot woman was hitting on me! I never know that to do about it and was generally too negative.

Edited April 20, 2016 by cj_cj