cj_cj Posted April 17, 2016 Share Posted April 17, 2016 (edited) This is so complicated and spans back almost six years. I liked a woman (still do). One night I ended up kissing her at my flat (I wouldn't believe my luck), she split with her boyfriend of eight years. I saw her a lot during that year as her best friend at the time lived with me, they fell out since - she saw the light :-) as I do not speak to her friend either and never know what she saw in her. Her best friend was one mix in the cock-tail as she didn't want me and her getting togeather and would do everything to destroy it. She had a few rebound relationships and it took years for her to get over her ex. Since I moved away from the area (I cannot wait forever). She knows I liked her as I messaged about asking why she would not talk. Despite what people think,I believe that she wanted to get back with her ex and was confused on the rebound listening to her friend. I do not believe that she does not like me under it all. She has a new boyfriend - my worst fear they have been on holiday and he likes her (two years I think) they are becoming in love I guess. I honestly believe me and her are unfinished business - even if this mean she justs want to apologise to me - I do believe she wants to patch up and go out with her new boyfriend. She had done this which all of the rebound guys she cares about - in hind sight me and her can see the issues clearer. Here is the difficult bit, I have read that it is better not to go in the friend-zone and play smarter then that if ever she and new partner were to have a second thought - she may have settle for the best she can get (she is 35 soon so time is pushing). This sounds crazy but I know women who have done this who fancied me. There is some good news: - I am not in her friend zone - I think she wants to speak to me at some point - My life is generally improving (I have a new job in London and have an offer do a masters as well as plans to be a second home (she saw me as a guy who gets thing done - I am becoming the guy she originally liked again) - I am getting fitter back to the person she originally liked - I believe deep down we do at least care about each other. - More good news I can put myself in the same parties as her in the summer where I will be for 3 1/2 months. After this, I will be back in London. I sound really bad I need to show her the grass is green without getting into the zone. I could have a detailed conversation with her about the past but it may result in us agreeing to be friends. It is hard but if ever had any chance at all ever again I need to be smarter then her rebound guys? Apart from that, I need to concentrate on my own life now not her. Another interesting point. Last time I saw her, I was with another woman (not my girlfriend). The woman I liked was giving her evil looks. Edited April 17, 2016 by cj_cj Link to post Share on other sites
Deirdra Posted April 18, 2016 Share Posted April 18, 2016 Reading your post, there is a lot of "I feel", "I believe" but not much to indicate how she feels. So, one, I don't know what your question is and two, there isn't much to go on about your chances. I don't have any sense on where she stands at all. The evil looks she shot the other woman isn't much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cj_cj Posted April 18, 2016 Author Share Posted April 18, 2016 (edited) We had a lot of tension about her best friend at the time. She is now in agreement with me :-) She does not see me much at all in recent years because of this, but I know if she was single again and I saw her I stand a chance. She is attracted to me. I do think that originally she enjoyed talking to me and saw as someone who she looked up to to talk to about her problems in life. I'm hoping her and the new guy don't work out. The best I can do is get my own life in complete order first, but then what. Some people said do not think about it and it has a better chance - it makes sense as I think about if you get obsessed with being in the same place as her you are not your normal self. If you are not thinking about her and getting on with your own life - the chances are next time I see her I will be in a better frame of mine to talk to her and be a new person if she is single again. Her and the new guy have been on holiday and seems to love her. My worst fear is that it is done. but like I said what do I do to optimise that chances if otherwise? She has heard through others that I have moved on and doing well. A friend of mine (good with women) told me doing nothing and not thinking about it is the best way - if you see the you see and be your normal and genuine and casual self. When I meet a new woman she will see my for who I am as I had some really good looking professional genuine woman interested, and then one day we will cross paths again. Alot of people said I was better then her anyway (i don't like that kind of talk) - but they did not realise that I cared about her soo much that I was willing to support her in changing her life (she didn't like her job and felt that she could do better). She still has the same job now :-) She was actually better of with me but she was all over the place at the time - I even told her about her friend - alot! I was right about that... so she is in agreement more in recent years. Edited April 18, 2016 by cj_cj Link to post Share on other sites
Author cj_cj Posted April 21, 2016 Author Share Posted April 21, 2016 (edited) So i have decided, although this is pretty much over. When I next see her I just need to be honest and mention that is was a shame that things did not work out back then due to a bad mix of things - she will come and stand next to me, she always does. Edited April 21, 2016 by cj_cj Link to post Share on other sites
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