virgin sex--how can it be?

[prtableversion]

Ok, I saw a move the other day, The Kinsey report or what ever. I liked it for the most part. One part of the movie has been stuck in my mind. Dr. Kinsey was just newly married and went to have sex with his virgin wife, she screamed threw him off and was standing there grabbing at her goin area. She said" i can't do it" and was almost crying.

WTF!! ok I'm a guy and my first girlfriend was very experienced. i had heard stories in college of this but i never really got it until i saw that clip in Kinsey.

I then set about to question my wife furthur about her 1st experience. Funny conversation since we've known each other for 10 years and we both had been with about 5 lovers before we met.

She said it took her 3 times! And the 3rd time she was yelling at him to stop but he just went ahead anyway and told her it was something they had to do. and then she never even had an orgasm until much later in life.

She in short said for her it was a reality check but she was horny so hey.

i personally am shocked and need to resolve this in my mind.

I have never had any notions of pain associated with sex except for pregnancy and infidelity and jealousy etc. I don't understand how a guy could enter a woman like that and cause her that.

I was so scared of sex anyway that if pain were involved like that no way!How the F could...

So I've read and researched it and it does seem for some ladies it is no big deal, they either have little or no pain and do or don't care and then some have tremendous pain and either do or don't care. I even read somewhere that some women have actually needed surgery because the hymen never breaks and can endure the full run of sex and be white with pain the whole time!

All the stories i heard in college and came back to haunt me. The vomiting, bleeding, crying, and too mixed in with non-evenful stories.

I personally beleive that this could have the potential to ruin a person's perspective on sex or at least take away some of the fun and more carefree attitude towads sex.

[prtableversion]

OK I kept reading. Even got around to Andrea Dworkin's Intercourse

For the males circumcision seems to prevent a similar experience. For uncircumcised men a fairly large percentage go through a similar tearing of the flesh where they too bleed, but they won't be able have sex and orgasm without going through it! So fellas there it is we too have cherries but the doctor takes it away!!

I have thus thought in my mind there maybe should be a female equivalent. I wonder if at birth the doctor could perform some quick surgery to prevent the girl from tearing so she too could have a carefree and maybe even perhaps a truley anti-climactic experience, where they both walk away and say hey that was not bad at all!

i have been tempted to even talk to my mom about this!! im at a loss, I talked to my buddies last night and I still need to talk to my other long time friend who married a virgin, I gotta alot to ask him. He's open minded he'll tell me everything

I'm curious now about my own sisters even, I would really like to know did they suffer did they scream or cry did they not care or feel anything?

Did their notions before and after change about sex and in what ways did it change? Doubt if I'll have the courage to ask them though

Thats what I need some before and after type of info too

[XNemesisX]

It didn't hurt me the first time I did it but I have had a few partners later on where it did hurt (they were very well-endowed).

 

So it hurts? Big deal. Women are usually better with pain than men and the man can be more gentle with her if need be. You just gotta suck it up and not be a wimp (unless you have some specific medical condition like vaginismus(sp?))

 

I don't see how women after a certain age can still experience intense pain. With using tampons, riding horses, fooling around, etc etc....the hymen shouldn't be an issue at all.

[prtableversion]

Well we may not have any more children. But I mentioned to my wife, not sure how she feels about it, but if we do have a girl in the future I want the doctor to perform some surgery. I am convinced that I would not want my daughter to risk that kind of experience. If not our boy is enough.

Sex already has enough costs why keep adding more chips to the pile?

This has definitely been a cathartic purge, any and all comment or ieas are welcome

[ratzxvital]

I think that people having sex for the first time should make sure that they are very aroused. Your body prepares itself for sex when you are. The vagina enlarges so that a penis may comfortably enter. Many people on their first time aren't thinking about this.

My first time didn't hurt at all because I was aroused. This isn't because I'm 'gaped' (which happens to be a myth by the way, the more you use your vaginal muscles the stronger and tighter they are. the less you use it the more loose it becomes. literally use it or lose it.). My boyfriend even says I'm 'tight'.

Another thing with sex is that your body has to train itself to the feeling. It takes a while to really enjoy it.

It makes sense that it would hurt more the first time, but I don't think it is right for it to be extremely painful. In fact in Kinsey, when he and his wife first tried having sex, he was clueless about sex. He didn't become interested in the subject until later. Had they had tried it when he was more informed, I'm sure it would have gone along more smooth.

[portableversion]

Well maybe kinsey did not get his wife aroused. Well I've asked my wife more about it, especially what she had gathered from her friends. It seems she was the only one that had much difficulty. it was that hymen not an issue of arousal.

Now she said that she was aroused and horny she wanted it but it was still not a good experience. For her it was a "reality check" that verified for her that sex was really meant for men, this in spite of the fact that she gets urges and gets in the mood on her own.

it was a releif to talk to more people and say they had pretty much an uneventful experience, but my heart really goes out to those where it was not. i really see the potential for sexual hang ups. maybe i'm just emotional right now cause i'm trying to quit smoking but lately when I've thought of this it makes me feel sad and i really wanted to cry!

A bit odd to be discussing this stuff after so many years, I really wanted to give my wife a hug and tell her I'm sorry, it's really no ones fault.

but hey if we do end up having a daughter someday i maintain that the doctor will snip the hymen. I know they can do it, I can tell they sucessfully snipped skin off my ding-a-ling.

I also discussed with my friends about uncircumcized males and their odds for ripping. My friends said they would not have gone through with it and stayed virgins probably much later

[SexKitten]

hmmm virgin sex...how can it be?

 

in my experience...quick.

 

[Treasa]

Originally posted by prtableversion

The vomiting, bleeding, crying, and too mixed in with non-evenful stories.

 

Yep, keep this, menstrual cycles, childbirth, etc. in mind the next time you hear some dumbass male talking about how females are the "weaker" gender. Please. Most males I know wouldn't be able to deal with half the female crap I have to, including endometriosis, humongous paratubal cysts, etc.

[Lonestar]

Originally posted by Treasa

Yep, keep this, menstrual cycles, childbirth, etc. in mind the next time you hear some dumbass male talking about how females are the "weaker" gender. Please. Most males I know wouldn't be able to deal with half the female crap I have to, including endometriosis, humongous paratubal cysts, etc.

 

I saw the Kinsey report. The sex hurt because her hymen was too thick and she had to have surgery to remove it. After that they f*cked like rabbits. I don't understand why you found that so weird. Sh*t happens, things grow the way they aren't supposed to, sex sometimes hurts. ok

[Panhandler]

That's a very rare occurance to say the least. First time I broke a girls hymen, it actually hurt me cause she was too tight. Second time I broke a girls hymen, I couldn't even get it into her, she was too tight and I kept slipping completely away from the area. It took a bit of time and other playing to get to the point I could get some into her. She never minded at all, she'd just lie there with a blank look on her face.

 

She was obviously very turned on, and she had a very spasmatic orgasm the first time, and was soaking wet, but she was too tight for me. When you are big like me, it can be difficult to break in virgins without hurting yourself and them right away. Because despite what anyone says, virgins are tighter in the aspect they don't quite loosen as easily as a woman who's done it. Sure they may be able to tighten up good when needed, but they are still able to loosen up too. But the hymen generally is not the problem, but just vaginal tearing can be a problem, just as it is in birth just like anal sex can be problematic if you aren't experienced and the girl is not used to it. Having birth a girl can actually rip her vagina all the way to her anus and need some stiching up, from passing a baby thru.

[lilmoma1973]

 

My first time hurt a little and was minimum blood i guess it depends on the person ... Make sure the person is very relaxed and lots of foreplay and make sure she is veery aroused and lots and lots of lube so you won't hurt her!!!