Co-workers asking if I'm gay

[NVO]

**Don't know if this is the right section.**

 

Two male co-workers of mine (both gay) asked a fenale co-worker if I am gay. She told me today and I feel weird right now. I'm not gay and I don't have anything against people who are gay, but still got the 'what the hell' feeling.

 

I barely talk to them, and if I do it's the normal chit-chat like I would have with any other person. I don't see how I could come off as gay and now I feel like I don't know how to behave when they are around. Or with anyone else around.

 

Maybe I'm overthinking this way too much, but still... Anyone else experienced this before?

[TaraMaiden2]

Yes.

When I worked at a Garden Centre, may years ago, while I was in charge of plants and cultivation, a young lady was in charge of landscaping and materials. She was a lesbian, and asked some fellow colleagues whether they knew if I was gay or not.

 

I didn't let it bother me. I worked with the girl, I have absolutely nothing whatsoever against homosexuals or lesbians.

It was merely flattering interest on her part.

She never pestered me, made advances, suggestions or flirted with me.

We carried on as 'normal', because normal is what it was.

 

Don't over-think it. Consider it flattering, and only consider taking it further if they deliberately target you or make you feel uncomfortable.

Otherwise, just carry on.

As normal.

[smackie9]

I don't think they feel you come off as gay, they were wondering if you were because they find you attractive and like would date you.

 

Be flattered.

[MrMeh]

They're attracted to you. That simple. The feeling your getting is the slight disgust you still have towards gay people. I used to get that when I was in high school, but it quickly went away as I started partying and even going to gay clubs with my gay friends.

 

Also, try to look at it from their perspective. They have to hope that the person they're attracted to is also gay, which is why they ask others first to confirm before they approach comfortably.

[GorillaTheater]

Be grateful they handled the matter with discretion. The one I got was "I wanna suck your ****"

 

 

I must look cheap.

[Haydn]

Be grateful they handled the matter with discretion. The one I got was "I wanna suck your ****"

 

 

I must look cheap.

 

 

You as well?

[NVO]

Yes.

When I worked at a Garden Centre, may years ago, while I was in charge of plants and cultivation, a young lady was in charge of landscaping and materials. She was a lesbian, and asked some fellow colleagues whether they knew if I was gay or not.

 

I didn't let it bother me. I worked with the girl, I have absolutely nothing whatsoever against homosexuals or lesbians.

It was merely flattering interest on her part.

She never pestered me, made advances, suggestions or flirted with me.

We carried on as 'normal', because normal is what it was.

 

Don't over-think it. Consider it flattering, and only consider taking it further if they deliberately target you or make you feel uncomfortable.

Otherwise, just carry on.

As normal.

 

Thanks Tara. You are right.

 

I don't think they feel you come off as gay, they were wondering if you were because they find you attractive and like would date you.

 

Be flattered.

 

Yeah, I thought so too. One guy is somewhat my age, so nothing strange there. But the other man is like twice my age.

 

They're attracted to you. That simple. The feeling your getting is the slight disgust you still have towards gay people. I used to get that when I was in high school, but it quickly went away as I started partying and even going to gay clubs with my gay friends.

 

Also, try to look at it from their perspective. They have to hope that the person they're attracted to is also gay, which is why they ask others first to confirm before they approach comfortably.

 

Maybe I do have a slight disgust. But when I was in high school I had one gay guy in my class who I consider a friend. We would work on projects together and hang out in between classes. Maybe I'm okay with gay people unless they show interest in me?

 

Be grateful they handled the matter with discretion. The one I got was "I wanna suck your ****"

 

I must look cheap.

 

Hahaha, this made me laugh. Thanks Gorilla.

[blackcat777]

It's always a strange feeling when other people make assumptions about your sexuality that might implicate they were thinking about you in a sexual way... in the same sense as unwanted sexual attention, maybe?

 

I had a male coworker the other day ask a female coworker if she thought I had huge boobs and taped them down. I'm barely a B-cup. It left me feeling a little squicked.

[Buddhist]

**Don't know if this is the right section.**

 

Two male co-workers of mine (both gay) asked a fenale co-worker if I am gay. She told me today and I feel weird right now. I'm not gay and I don't have anything against people who are gay, but still got the 'what the hell' feeling.

 

I barely talk to them, and if I do it's the normal chit-chat like I would have with any other person. I don't see how I could come off as gay and now I feel like I don't know how to behave when they are around. Or with anyone else around.

 

Maybe I'm overthinking this way too much, but still... Anyone else experienced this before?

 

It's very common when a guy doesn't present as obviously 'straight' by whatever straight guy standards exist within your culture. Perhaps these coworkers are just wanting to bring you into the fold by helping you come out, or maybe they are sexually attracted to you and want to know their chances.

 

Gaydar isn't fool proof, I work with a tonne of gay men who still can't determine whether someone is on their team or not. :roll eyes: All except one of my partners have been bisexual and they spanned the spectrum from....you would have no idea to holy hell, he's into women!...WTF?

 

Don't be offended, the fact someone cannot tell your sexuality by looking at you is really quite a silly thing to get offended about. I work with a guy who all the men swear is gay, all the women swear is straight. Well....he's a very attractive guy, everyone wants him. They all want to believe he's in their pool of chances. Maybe this is you too?

[Mrin]

You're a hottie bro!

[JustGettingBy]

Probably best you just let it roll off your back. No harm done here.

[Maxtor]

**Don't know if this is the right section.**

 

Two male co-workers of mine (both gay) asked a fenale co-worker if I am gay. She told me today and I feel weird right now. I'm not gay and I don't have anything against people who are gay, but still got the 'what the hell' feeling.

 

I barely talk to them, and if I do it's the normal chit-chat like I would have with any other person. I don't see how I could come off as gay and now I feel like I don't know how to behave when they are around. Or with anyone else around.

 

Maybe I'm overthinking this way too much, but still... Anyone else experienced this before?

lol man, take it as a compliment.

 

When I worked at retail, my co-workers thought i was gay aswell, just because I never commented on the girls. When I finally hook up with one, after 1 year and a half, they told me

 

"Dude, thank god, I was concerned."

 

Funny stuff. Dont think too much,

[Emilia]

As far as I know some gay guys like hitting on straight ones just in case.

 

Maybe you are a snappy dresser?

[Buzzkillington]

I had this happen years ago when I worked in a pub - a bloke there thought I was gay because I hadn't had a girlfriend for ages! He was also into my friend. A female coworker thought it would be funny to tell him that I definitely was... we were young and laughed about it in the end.

[NVO]

Seems it happens more often than I thought. And you are right, I'll take it as a compliment.

 

 

As far as I know some gay guys like hitting on straight ones just in case.

 

Maybe you are a snappy dresser?

 

 

Don't know how I would roughly translate the word 'snappy' into Dutch, but I think I get what you are saying haha.

 

 

Other than this, I do always make sure I dress well when I go to work.

[Justanaverageguy]

I don't think they feel you come off as gay, they were wondering if you were because they find you attractive and like would date you.

 

Be flattered.

 

Exactly this.

 

In university I lived in a share house with 2 friends one male and one female who were both gay. As a result they obviously had quite a few gay friends. I got asked the same quite a few times - such and such wants to know if you are gay. At first I was taken a back but then I realized it was just how things worked when a gay guy was interested in someone. They checked first to avoid confusion\awkwardness. Became a little ego boost - best you see it that way.

[mellywell]

I can understand why it gave you pause. That doesn't make you homophobic or anything else. I have a friend who is a lesbian who gets offended when a man tries to hit on her.

 

Just let it roll. They probably think you are cute

[Toodaloo]

News flash...

 

Last time I looked Gay people did not walk around with neon signs on their heads announcing their sexuality...

 

These guys probably just wanted to check it out before making a faux pas in asking you out.

 

Take it as a compliment. Most of the gay guys I know have fabulous taste in men... wish they could pick a few out for me but we end up squabbling!!

 

How would you react if your co-worker had said a cute girl was asking if you were single? Feel the same way about these guys. You may not fancy them but the compliment is still there.

 

They are just dotting every snail before they make a fool of themselves.

[Montgomery Burns]

**Don't know if this is the right section.**

 

Two male co-workers of mine (both gay) asked a fenale co-worker if I am gay. She told me today and I feel weird right now. I'm not gay and I don't have anything against people who are gay, but still got the 'what the hell' feeling.

 

I barely talk to them, and if I do it's the normal chit-chat like I would have with any other person. I don't see how I could come off as gay and now I feel like I don't know how to behave when they are around. Or with anyone else around.

 

Maybe I'm overthinking this way too much, but still... Anyone else experienced this before?

 

I honestly believe they are probably wanting to be friendly and want to know more about you. Sometimes it can be difficult to make friends and having some things in common helps. Don't sweat it.

[alphamale]

Maybe I'm overthinking this way too much, but still... Anyone else experienced this before?

you are over-thinking this. just relax, most LGBT people are cool

[whichwayisup]

**Don't know if this is the right section.**

 

Two male co-workers of mine (both gay) asked a fenale co-worker if I am gay. She told me today and I feel weird right now. I'm not gay and I don't have anything against people who are gay, but still got the 'what the hell' feeling.

 

I barely talk to them, and if I do it's the normal chit-chat like I would have with any other person. I don't see how I could come off as gay and now I feel like I don't know how to behave when they are around. Or with anyone else around.

 

Maybe I'm overthinking this way too much, but still... Anyone else experienced this before?

 

Be flattered. Two gay men obviously find you hot and was wondering if you were gay.