ben1985 Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 Hi im new to this forum. My fiance has recently left me without warning and im a mess. We were together for 11 years and due to be married in 5 months time. She was my world. We had a few problems over the last 18 months. Mainly financial. She took it really bad and started to suffer from anxiety. I thought we were getting through it. We did not argue really for the last 9 months or so. Then she left. It has now come to light that last summer she began to see things such as demons and angels etc. She then started getting into spirituality. She kept it all hidden. No signs at all. She went to a spiritual seminar on the sunday and then broke up with me on the wednesday. She had a message deep within her soul that if she stayed she would be unhappy. So that was that. She showed no emotion. Other than she feels bad for me. She is a completely different person now. Doesnt enjoy anything she used to and her life is her spirituality. She goes to loads of phsychic meetings and now fancys a guy from there who is 20 years older than her. She only moved out 2 weeks ago. Sorry to go on but feels like my life is over. Help!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
seamos Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 Hi Ben1985, sorry you're going thru this. Your story sounds chillingly similar to something that happened to me a few years ago. How did you find out about her seeing demons and angels? Is she religious or does her spiritual beliefs seem to be something that she has formed for herself? Does she have close family or friends that she talks to? In my case it turned out to be signs of serious mental illness, my girlfriend had gone thru a couple of emotionally stressful experiences shortly previous to this which seemed to trigger it. She suddenly started telling me about a conversation she had been having with an angel and then a week later she became convinced that she was being possessed by her dead grandfather. She was totally serious about all of this. She was a very intelligent woman and had seemed very stable until this suddenly started. Can you answer those questions? I hope this works out for you. I wish you the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 Eleven years without marriage? If you're with someone and over two years have gone by and no marriage, either one or both people have one foot outside of the door. Sorry, but I don't believe in 'long-term "committed" relationships'. Eleven years and no marriage, she probably got tired of being with you and no marriage and/or she never wanted to be with you for "life" and simply took active steps to move on...cuz again, someone who is ok with being with you for 11 years w/o marriage probably wants to keep their foot outside the door and now she found stuff/guys who make that foot outside of the door interesting. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 She sounds more psychotic than psychic. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ben1985 Posted April 19, 2016 Author Share Posted April 19, 2016 We were 18 and 19 when we first met...we both said that we would get married around by the time we were 30. We got engaged jan 15 and wedding was planned for sept 16. Everyone and every relationship is different....i know people that have been together 20 years and never married. Yes she also had 2 sudden traumatic events 6 months prior...triggered anxiety and progressed from there. I only found out the day before she called our wedding off. She kept it all in. The only person that she told was her mum. She has moved back to her parents now and just loves being on her own. Just listens to music when not at work and goes to phsychic readings. She gets very stressed when i try and talk to her and just says you need to move on. All very upsetting. Link to post Share on other sites
seamos Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 Well, I'm sure there are plenty of possible explanations but what you described has reminded me a lot of how it went with my ex. She also showed no emotion even tho our relationship had always seemed incredibly good and after our breakup she kind of locked herself away from the world and devoted her time to her spiritual beliefs (which were strange and just got stranger). Then she killed herself a couple of years ago. This of course is probably worst case scenario but I thought I'd throw it out there since your story sounds similar. I hope that your fiancé isn't having something similar happening. I don't really have any advice other than give her space but try to be her friend and be there for her, maybe things will improve. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 Her spiritual quest sounds extreme, but a guy I've known a long time who is steady as they go got into the same thing. To me, it sounds like she's just searching and probably (and you too) does need to be just by herself for some time and find out who she is without any influences on her. I mean living on her own, making her own way, not leaning on anyone. It's part of growing up that I think needs to happen before you pick a mate. She may circle back around and she may get out of this weirdness she's in. But I suggest you be on your own and give yourself some exploratory time too. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 it is indeed a shock. When the rug is pulled, it creates imbalance. You are right where you need to be.. It's normal to be dazed and wanting of logical answers. Be good to you... Create that space required to heal. You are worth more then the actions of another. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ben1985 Posted April 19, 2016 Author Share Posted April 19, 2016 Well, I'm sure there are plenty of possible explanations but what you described has reminded me a lot of how it went with my ex. She also showed no emotion even tho our relationship had always seemed incredibly good and after our breakup she kind of locked herself away from the world and devoted her time to her spiritual beliefs (which were strange and just got stranger). Then she killed herself a couple of years ago. This of course is probably worst case scenario but I thought I'd throw it out there since your story sounds similar. I hope that your fiancé isn't having something similar happening. I don't really have any advice other than give her space but try to be her friend and be there for her, maybe things will improve. She said that she wanted to kill herself a few times when it was at its worst. Thankfully she didnt. She is calming down abit but is just obsessed with spirituality. It is her life now and has replaced me it seems. She wants to remain friends but this is the love of my life. If im to move on im gonna have to just let her go i feel. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 You said: "She was my world." Love someone as much as you want, but never let anyone be 'your world.' You should be the centre of your world. Relate to everyone else from that centre. Here's a clip from my journal: Its important to keep ones centre of gravity within oneself, whether single or coupled. For some people when in a couple, their centre of gravity becomes misplaced, and they 'wobble.' Their sense of self becomes unstable. Don't be one of those people. Take care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 (edited) All the angels in my life acted like devils. I don't mean to make light of that. One of two things is true: She is special, chosen to be a vehicle of God to communicate with some people about something important. God doesn't grant the ability to sense angels and demons to just anybody. She has a divine purpose. or She's mentally ill. Either way, not many people are equipped to be with that kind of person. The trouble with God's people is that they are, by human definition, nuts. Also, God's people are generally not great partners. Strife is a given in their life, and their loyalties lie not with you. Plus, you'll never know which one she is. Accept what she has to say in good faith. What else can you do? Edited April 20, 2016 by mightycpa Link to post Share on other sites
Author ben1985 Posted June 7, 2016 Author Share Posted June 7, 2016 Just an update.... My partner has come back to me after realising that this spiritualism was not good for her and she was being brainwashed. Was a very tough time for us both but seems we have come through it. Onwards and upwards. We should never take things for granted....we all do it at times but wow...things happen that make u think how precious some people are to you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
chicaboom Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 I'm so sorry to read this. I hope you know that over time you will be able to move on from this. It might be a blessing in disguise that she left even if it doesn't seem that way right now. That sounds like a lot to deal with and she possible has a mental illness. You would have been her care giver-a lot of responsibility. Be sad, be angry, cry-do what you need to. But in the end you're going to be just fine and maybe one day be able start dating again:) Link to post Share on other sites
seamos Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 ben1985 I'm glad to hear things are working out for you and your fiance. It's always nice to hear a story w/ a happy ending. Is the wedding still on schedule? Link to post Share on other sites
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