Author LostLonelyGirl Posted April 26, 2016 Author Share Posted April 26, 2016 I didn't contact him. Proud of myself 4 Link to post Share on other sites
stilltrying16 Posted April 26, 2016 Share Posted April 26, 2016 woooohooooo That's really great, LLG! I would be proud too!!! Good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Josmatjes Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 I didn't contact him. Proud of myself Just remember that every day you don't contact him is one day stronger!! And you also have all the power! If you contacted him it would be a major ego boost to him! Don't give him this!!! show this guy who's boss!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostLonelyGirl Posted April 28, 2016 Author Share Posted April 28, 2016 I don't want to admit it, but I failed :/ the lack of contact was eating away at me. I dont really know what else to say. I just want to be honest with you all. I try to be strong. But I'm only human. And despite hating him on one level, I still miss him on another.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chuff Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 It's okay. You'll be stronger next time, because there's always a next time. Try not to beat yourself up over this. You are doing the best you can. Dust yourself off and do what you need to do to take care of yourself. You're going to get through this and we will do our best to help!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostLonelyGirl Posted April 28, 2016 Author Share Posted April 28, 2016 How does one stay strong when part of them doesn't want to...how can one be simultaneously severely angry at someone but also hope they come back to you...My brain hurts from thinking about him so much. I hate that he obviously is fine with not talking to me unless I initiate. "Oh, im just really busy". Which he is. But you find time to talkto someone you care about. I don't want to cry anymore over someone who could obviously care less if I'm even alive... Link to post Share on other sites
stilltrying16 Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 I don't want to admit it, but I failed :/ the lack of contact was eating away at me. I dont really know what else to say. I just want to be honest with you all. I try to be strong. But I'm only human. And despite hating him on one level, I still miss him on another.... I think you are so brave- it's not an easy and everyone slips up from time to time. But you can always keep looking forward. Chuff put it so perfectly It's okay. You'll be stronger next time, because there's always a next time. Try not to beat yourself up over this. You are doing the best you can. Dust yourself off and do what you need to do to take care of yourself. You're going to get through this and we will do our best to help!!! Great post! I totally agree. How does one stay strong when part of them doesn't want to...how can one be simultaneously severely angry at someone but also hope they come back to you...My brain hurts from thinking about him so much. I hate that he obviously is fine with not talking to me unless I initiate. "Oh, im just really busy". Which he is. But you find time to talkto someone you care about. I don't want to cry anymore over someone who could obviously care less if I'm even alive... It must be so painful. Feelings are often conflicted but when it's an addiction you are trying to beat, it's a wonder they don't overwhelm us once and for all. But they haven't overwhelmed you! You've resisted him in the past- doesn't matter if the resistance breaks now and then. You'll tap again into the strength you showed before. . If you've done it once you can do it again. As Chuff says, dust yourself off and keep going. I've been wanting to ask you, do you have a real life support circle, maybe other young mothers with newborns? Chuff's thread (and some other threads that are active now) have some really fantastic posts on NC. Chuff's posts about what her therapist told her are eye-opening. I don't know if you've seen them yet, but they are worth checking out! As always, sending you strength & good wishes! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostLonelyGirl Posted April 29, 2016 Author Share Posted April 29, 2016 I've been wanting to ask you, do you have a real life support circle, maybe other young mothers with newborns? My children aren't newborns. They are 4 and 7. I appreciate your support. I go back and forth on wanting to tell him off and wanting to be in his arms. It's ridiculous. I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster Link to post Share on other sites
Chuff Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 My children aren't newborns. They are 4 and 7. I appreciate your support. I go back and forth on wanting to tell him off and wanting to be in his arms. It's ridiculous. I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster It's not ridiculous! But yes, it is an emotional roller coaster, and that's why we are all on this forum. Telling him off won't work because according to my therapist, men crave attention. Putting him on blast is giving him attention, even if it's negative attention. Most men will interpret this as "she still cares." I'll have to read your back story to find out if you have a trusted friend to confide in or if you're in therapy or if you're taking antidepressants. All 3 of these things were key in getting me off the roller coaster. I'm on the kiddie ride now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostLonelyGirl Posted April 29, 2016 Author Share Posted April 29, 2016 It's not ridiculous! But yes, it is an emotional roller coaster, and that's why we are all on this forum. Telling him off won't work because according to my therapist, men crave attention. Putting him on blast is giving him attention, even if it's negative attention. Most men will interpret this as "she still cares." I'll have to read your back story to find out if you have a trusted friend to confide in or if you're in therapy or if you're taking antidepressants. All 3 of these things were key in getting me off the roller coaster. I'm on the kiddie ride now. I haven't been to my therapist in a while. I have a friend I told but I don't feel too comfortable continuing talking to her about it. That's why I appreciate you all. I have felt such a lack of passion for years. I think that's what I miss the most Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostLonelyGirl Posted May 1, 2016 Author Share Posted May 1, 2016 (edited) Had a wonderful day today and then sudden inexplicable sadness over the MM. I hate when it creeps in on me and kills my good mood. Edited May 1, 2016 by LostLonelyGirl Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostLonelyGirl Posted May 2, 2016 Author Share Posted May 2, 2016 Telling myself today that I'm worth so much more than wasting my thoughts on someone so selfish. I don't want to be sad today. I look too cute today to be sad. ....lol 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chuff Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Telling myself today that I'm worth so much more than wasting my thoughts on someone so selfish. I don't want to be sad today. I look too cute today to be sad. ....lol Do NOT waste your cuteness on being sad today!!!!! Hang in there! The sadness will pass! Hugs to you!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostLonelyGirl Posted May 2, 2016 Author Share Posted May 2, 2016 I can't seem to go more than three days without crying. I play it all over again in my head and end up deciding it really was my fault and I pushed him too hard. Then I cry because I ruined my own happiness. No matter what I try to tell myself, it comed back around to not living up to his expectations of me and hating myself for not just being happy with the time he gave me. I wish I could go back to therapy but part of me doesn't even want to admit to her what I've done. Im also suppose to start my period soon so that is probably also messing with my emotions. I just hate myself so much for giving him everything just to be left crying and hurting while I'm sure he isn't missing what I thought was such a wonderful connection. I wish I could just turn off my emotions like he seems to have done. Link to post Share on other sites
alwayshopeful1 Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Lostlonelygirl, Is there a way to contact you privately via love shack? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostLonelyGirl Posted May 2, 2016 Author Share Posted May 2, 2016 Lostlonelygirl, Is there a way to contact you privately via love shack? I don't know, I've looked for that option but couldn't find it Link to post Share on other sites
alwayshopeful1 Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 If you feel comfortable please email me at [email protected]. Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 You need to make more than a certain number of posts to get the privilege of private messages. No sure how many! Read other threads & offer advise & support where you can & you'll be able to private message soon. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostLonelyGirl Posted May 2, 2016 Author Share Posted May 2, 2016 If you feel comfortable please email me at [email protected]. I'm not comfortable because my email is my name :/ otherwise I'd love someone to talk to 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alwayshopeful1 Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 You need to make more than a certain number of posts to get the privilege of private messages. No sure how many! Read other threads & offer advise & support where you can & you'll be able to private message soon. Ah! That's the trick. I'm fairly new and have benefited tremendously from LS. I know of a very similar scenario and wanted to share with Lonelylostgirl in hopes of helping in her current situation. I Promise I'm not creepy! Lol 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alwayshopeful1 Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 I'm not comfortable because my email is my name :/ otherwise I'd love someone to talk to I completely understand. So is mine :/ I created the one I posted above once I read your story because I felt compelled to reach out. A bit extreme but your story is one I am familiar with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostLonelyGirl Posted May 2, 2016 Author Share Posted May 2, 2016 I completely understand. So is mine :/ I created the one I posted above once I read your story because I felt compelled to reach out. A bit extreme but your story is one I am familiar with. I just did the same....hahahaha Link to post Share on other sites
alwayshopeful1 Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 I just did the same....hahahaha Lol! I hope to hear from you Link to post Share on other sites
Author LostLonelyGirl Posted May 2, 2016 Author Share Posted May 2, 2016 Lol! I hope to hear from you I just emailed u Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Telling myself today that I'm worth so much more than wasting my thoughts on someone so selfish. I don't want to be sad today. I look too cute today to be sad. ....lol That's it. Push yourself hard and remember HE isn't thinking of you, nor does he care. Try not to waste your tears on him - He's not worth it! Let anger detach you from him even more and focus on the positives in your life. Your health, your family, your friends. Those are the ones who care for you and love you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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