Juliasummers294 Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 (edited) I've been seeing this guy since about last October Over the past few months I felt very close to him. It feels overall like we've gotten closer. Before I could feel that he didn't feel that close to me. Now it's different he talks to me a lot about things. It feels like we are more of like an actual couple now. He kisses me a lot and has become more affectionate. He seems very moody at times. Like one day he's hot the next cold. He treats me really great one day and literally the next he's very cold to me. A few days ago we hung out and hooked up and I felt like the night went great. The next day I simply was having a conversation with him and I let him know that I really care about him. I also said I wanted to feel cared about. I told him that I've never opened up to anyone that way before. I'm usually very reserved. I don't say my feelings. So I felt really good about finally you know, letting this guy know that I have real feelings for him. By telling him this I just wanted to know how he felt about me. That's all I was asking. He wasn't responding to my text messages. I thought something was wrong because he normally messages me right back. So I sent him a snapchat message. I asked if he was ignoring me and if what I was asking him was too much and he said "no I'm at work" usually he responds anyway while he's at work. I responded with "if you want me to just stop messaging you, I will ....just tell me" and he responded "I don't feel like answering" I said " it's simple either you want me here or not" and he said "yes"..... What does that mean?? So like an hour later he posted on his snapchat a pic of himself in a hospital bed with a hospital gown on. He looked miserable like he was in pain and the caption said " from work to the hospital" I immediately got worried and messaged him asking if he was ok. He didn't read my message until about 12am and didn't respond at all. That literally broke my heart because I was sooooo worried and why didn't he tell me he wasn't well. I wouldn't have been pestering him all day. And it hurt me that he didn't respond when he read it with at least an "I'm ok". At this moment I still don't know what was even wrong with him.... It hurts that he didn't think to say to me that he was going to the hospital.... At this point I don't think he cares an ounce about me. I just would prefer to go no contact. I feel like if I say or ask him anything else. He's gonna view it as me nagging him. I'd rather just walk away. I feel somewhat humiliated because I put my heart out there and he didn't want to respond. At the same time idk how I feel about him being in the hospital.... I just don't know how I feel or the next step to take. Edited April 20, 2016 by Juliasummers294 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 He is in hospital, he has time to snapchat photos but not to inform his 6-month girlfriend? I'm sorry to say you're clearly not a priority in his life. After 6 months, if he's not making you a priority, he never will be. I would move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juliasummers294 Posted April 20, 2016 Author Share Posted April 20, 2016 He is in hospital, he has time to snapchat photos but not to inform his 6-month girlfriend? I'm sorry to say you're clearly not a priority in his life. After 6 months, if he's not making you a priority, he never will be. I would move on. Yeah exactly. I feel like there's no need to even say anything either. Just cut it off completely 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 6 months of this?? I wouldn't have bothered to pick my way through it...how frustrating for you. Know your expectations and stick with them. If they do not fulfill them then they are not worth investing your time in. I totally get it, we have all been there, when we really like someone we lose ourselves and make poor choices, or have false hope it will get better...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juliasummers294 Posted April 20, 2016 Author Share Posted April 20, 2016 6 months of this?? I wouldn't have bothered to pick my way through it...how frustrating for you. Know your expectations and stick with them. If they do not fulfill them then they are not worth investing your time in. I totally get it, we have all been there, when we really like someone we lose ourselves and make poor choices, or have false hope it will get better...... Yes exactly. It has been so crazy for me. This last thing was the worst. Going forward this definitely changes the way I'll view things because it's going to be hard to read vibes and to interpret what's real and what's not. Link to post Share on other sites
Lindsaycaper Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 What a tool!? I feel for you because right now you're probably going back and forth thinking if you should give him the benefit of the doubt. That because he was in the hospital he didn't message you or maybe that's why he didn't want to talk. Bottom line he took a pic of himself , he couldve taken 2 seconds of his life to text you and let you know that he wasn't feeling well. I think you should forget him and move on. He's no good for you. You seem like a nice girl. And I think the "yes" meant that he DOES want you in his life but obviously he doesn't want to show his feelings or something idk?? As far as letting him know that you're done.... I wouldn't bother. Give him the same respect he gave you letting you know he wasn't feeling well. I say just go NC. I know it hurts that you opened up and he didn't respond well. I'm sure whatever you opened up to him saying will sink in..... After he hasn't heard from you but hopefully for your sake, it's too late. DITCH HIM girl Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 I've been seeing this guy since about last October Over the past few months I felt very close to him. It feels overall like we've gotten closer. Before I could feel that he didn't feel that close to me. Now it's different he talks to me a lot about things. It feels like we are more of like an actual couple now. He kisses me a lot and has become more affectionate. He seems very moody at times. Like one day he's hot the next cold. He treats me really great one day and literally the next he's very cold to me. A few days ago we hung out and hooked up and I felt like the night went great. The next day I simply was having a conversation with him and I let him know that I really care about him. I also said I wanted to feel cared about. I told him that I've never opened up to anyone that way before. I'm usually very reserved. I don't say my feelings. So I felt really good about finally you know, letting this guy know that I have real feelings for him. By telling him this I just wanted to know how he felt about me. That's all I was asking. He wasn't responding to my text messages. I thought something was wrong because he normally messages me right back. So I sent him a snapchat message. I asked if he was ignoring me and if what I was asking him was too much and he said "no I'm at work" usually he responds anyway while he's at work. I responded with "if you want me to just stop messaging you, I will ....just tell me" and he responded "I don't feel like answering" I said " it's simple either you want me here or not" and he said "yes"..... What does that mean?? So like an hour later he posted on his snapchat a pic of himself in a hospital bed with a hospital gown on. He looked miserable like he was in pain and the caption said " from work to the hospital" I immediately got worried and messaged him asking if he was ok. He didn't read my message until about 12am and didn't respond at all. That literally broke my heart because I was sooooo worried and why didn't he tell me he wasn't well. I wouldn't have been pestering him all day. And it hurt me that he didn't respond when he read it with at least an "I'm ok". At this moment I still don't know what was even wrong with him.... It hurts that he didn't think to say to me that he was going to the hospital.... At this point I don't think he cares an ounce about me. I just would prefer to go no contact. I feel like if I say or ask him anything else. He's gonna view it as me nagging him. I'd rather just walk away. I feel somewhat humiliated because I put my heart out there and he didn't want to respond. At the same time idk how I feel about him being in the hospital.... I just don't know how I feel or the next step to take. Before you go dumping him because he didn't respond to a text in the manner or time limit you wanted...what landed him there. It's not like if he was getting looked at he was going to give you a blow by blow of scrotal exam via text. Granted sending out a pic from a hospital in a gown is pretty cheesy and shopping for sympathy. But I would hold off on sacking Rome until you have actually found out exactly why he was in this hospital. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juliasummers294 Posted April 20, 2016 Author Share Posted April 20, 2016 Before you go dumping him because he didn't respond to a text in the manner or time limit you wanted...what landed him there. It's not like if he was getting looked at he was going to give you a blow by blow of scrotal exam via text. Granted sending out a pic from a hospital in a gown is pretty cheesy and shopping for sympathy. But I would hold off on sacking Rome until you have actually found out exactly why he was in this hospital. He could've easily said to me "I'm not feeling well I don't want to discuss this" but instead he was very cold to me and distant and I was worried sick about what happened to him.... Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 So why was he in the hospital? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juliasummers294 Posted April 21, 2016 Author Share Posted April 21, 2016 So why was he in the hospital? I have no idea Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 So you've basically been his FWB for 6 months. Sorry, but your first post says you've been 'seeing' him for 6 months and recently he started being a little more open with you and a little more affectionate. He's not your boyfriend. He hasn't committed to you. It sounds like a very ONE-SIDED relationship - you're emotionally invested 100% and he's NOT. And now he's showing you exactly how little he's emotionally invested in you. Don't ignore it and continue to delude yourself that you're in a serious relationship with him because you're clearly not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juliasummers294 Posted April 21, 2016 Author Share Posted April 21, 2016 So you've basically been his FWB for 6 months. Sorry, but your first post says you've been 'seeing' him for 6 months and recently he started being a little more open with you and a little more affectionate. He's not your boyfriend. He hasn't committed to you. It sounds like a very ONE-SIDED relationship - you're emotionally invested 100% and he's NOT. And now he's showing you exactly how little he's emotionally invested in you. Don't ignore it and continue to delude yourself that you're in a serious relationship with him because you're clearly not. Exactly!! I haven't even said anything to him I just went complete no contact. And everyone is saying that I'm wrong because idk if he's ok. I asked 3 times and got no answer so.... I'd rather just completely erase him Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 everyone is saying that I'm wrong because idk if he's ok Who is "everyone"? Everyone here is saying you're right. He quite obviously doesn't give 2 flicks of a lamb's tail about you, so why should you care if he's OK or not? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 Like one day he's hot the next cold. He treats me really great one day and literally the next he's very cold to me. A few days ago we hung out and hooked up and I felt like the night went great. The next day I simply was having a conversation with him and I let him know that I really care about him. I also said I wanted to feel cared about. I told him that I've never opened up to anyone that way before. I'm usually very reserved. I don't say my feelings. So I felt really good about finally you know, letting this guy know that I have real feelings for him. By telling him this I just wanted to know how he felt about me. That's all I was asking. . He's hot and cold, never a good sign, if someone else does this to you again, dump them straight away - nothing good ever comes out of it. However here, a "minute" after you told him you had feelings for him he disappears off the radar... He enjoyed the hook ups and nothing more, you were a fwb, and now you have "feelings", he ran a mile. Keep up the NC, it is the right thing to do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juliasummers294 Posted April 21, 2016 Author Share Posted April 21, 2016 Who is "everyone"? Everyone here is saying you're right. He quite obviously doesn't give 2 flicks of a lamb's tail about you, so why should you care if he's OK or not? Not you guys!! Lol I mean people I know personally. They're all like "he could be dead you know" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juliasummers294 Posted April 21, 2016 Author Share Posted April 21, 2016 He's hot and cold, never a good sign, if someone else does this to you again, dump them straight away - nothing good ever comes out of it. However here, a "minute" after you told him you had feelings for him he disappears off the radar... He enjoyed the hook ups and nothing more, you were a fwb, and now you have "feelings", he ran a mile. Keep up the NC, it is the right thing to do. Thank you. He has a way of texting from weird numbers. What do I say when he ask what's up? Probably because he wants sex again. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 Thank you. He has a way of texting from weird numbers. What do I say when he ask what's up? Probably because he wants sex again. Do not reply. That's what NC means. No Contact. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 Thank you. He has a way of texting from weird numbers. What do I say when he ask what's up? Probably because he wants sex again. Pete is right. No Contact is the name of the game here. Link to post Share on other sites
Rainah Posted April 21, 2016 Share Posted April 21, 2016 I agree with what others say, go no contact on him, don't even explain yourself, why break up with him if you both were not really in a relationship in his eyes? Just walk away the bigger person. Link to post Share on other sites
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