just friends?

[Mira]

My boyfriend has been stressed out at work lately, and we've been spending less time together. He told me that he sometimes he doesn't feel like he wants to fool around with me. He says he is confused. Sometimes he feels like our relationship is going great, but other times he feels platonic towards me. What is this? What should we do?

[Tony T]

You didn't say how long the two of you have been seeing each other but it sounds like he's gotten into a bad case of taking you for granted.

 

Stop being so available...don't ask him for sex or attention...make yourself scarse and don't be around so much. Don't talk to him on the phone as much.

 

When certain people are in long term relationships and they see a person all the time, the excitement diminishes substantially. Nothing feeds the flames of passion more than challenge. You have got to be that.

 

This guy probably won't change for the rest of your life. You will have to do this until you die if you stay with him. That's just the way it is. A counsellor cannot change things.

 

If you get decked out in sexy lingerie and things don't get better, you'll feel even more rejected. Take the chance if you want. But either start getting out and doing other things and don't be so available...or find a boyfriend who is not so inclined to get stressed out at work.

 

And, by the way, that stress stuff is a bunch of bunk. When a guy is stressed, that's when he needs his honey the most. If he is really all that messed up from his job, do you really need to put up with that for a lifetime? I don't think so. He needs to start managing his life better and establishing priorities based on what means the most to him. Or maybe he's done that already???