Phileasfogg Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 My extra-marital relationship (of 3 years) became known to my partner last summer. The truth had to be dragged out of me over a number of months. My partner is often unsure of what to do ie seperate or work at it, and myself relieved during the good days and despair when it comes crashing down again - little else has been talked about over the last 10 months. We have 2 children and if it weren't for them and a real desire of my partner to make it work the relationship would have ended. I too wish and hope that the relationship continues and naturally, better than it was during the affair. I have piece of mind now which is good, but the drive to make it work often seems to have been sucked out of me through endless battles as I call them. I sometimes think I have shut down; emotionally switched off. This is possibly in order to protect myself or to nullify some of the continuous reaction that comes my way. I currently feeling more positive (this can change rapidly) and am interested to know the way in which people in my position have slowly regenerated a positive relationship once more. Regards Phileas Link to post Share on other sites
dresden Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 Do you think that 10 months is a long time to still be together and working on your relationship? Do you think that for your childrens' sake you should continue to work on staying together? Your partner probably has trust issues with you now, so your up-and-down days are due to that. You say or do something a little different, and your partner thinks you are running around again. You have a lot to think about, but you should keep the thought of the children foremost in your mind. Whatever you decide, you have to work at protecting them from the fallout. Link to post Share on other sites
only1life Posted July 7, 2005 Share Posted July 7, 2005 .... We have 2 children and if it weren't for them and a real desire of my partner to make it work the relationship would have ended..... It takes more than that! Your relationship will never prosper under these conditions, you yourself must really want it to be good! Think about what a good relationship could mean to the two of you, is that where YOU want to be? If not, then you're wasting your time trying. You must want a great relationship, you must convey that feeling to your partner, and your partner must feel the same. Talk about it together. If there's real hope for your future together, then stop dwelling on the past, and work together towards what you know will be good. Link to post Share on other sites
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