Incompatibility

[Unsureslp]

I'm very introverted. My husband knew this when he married me. Yet, he says he expected me to change after marriage, because he says "people change". He wants me to call and visit his parents and sisters on a regular basis, and host more get togethers at our house.. Which I find difficult, and frankly do not enjoy. He's threatening to divorce me over this. He says he'll be happy with me when his family is happy with me. Should I just give in to a divorce based on incompatibility, or is this something that I can really change about myself? I feel like introversion is an intrinsic part of me.

[whichwayisup]

I think there's room for compromise. It's good to push yourself and I'm sure having family gatherings at your home would be fun. Do you ever have friends over or are you a hermit and stay at home?

 

Do you ever have your family over to your home?

 

There's no reason why you can't make an effort and your husband needs to understand that there are times you need your space and not to be around people.

[Unsureslp]

No, family gatherings with his family are not fun.. For me, at least, lol. His family looks at everything I do and everything in my house with a magnifying glass, it seems. Down to critiquing my cooking skills. It's very stressful and anxiety inducing for me. I don't usually have friends over, I will meet a select few for dinner out. My family lives in a different state and hardly ever visit, and even when they rarely do I still get a little anxious before they come. Strange, I know.

My husband doesn't understand that I need my space.. He thinks these are all character flaws that need changing.

[stillafool]

Make him help you with the cooking, cleaning etc., or hire someone to help. Maybe you could give a cookout and let your husband do the grilling and you could make or buy the side dishes, put them in pretty bowls as if you made them and buy a nice cake. That's it.