Master's Degree and Depression

[JewelD]

I'm a black student at a predominately white university pursing a master's degree. The black student population here is lower than 2% (of 40,000) and it's located in one of the whitest areas in America.

 

I really didn't understand the lack of diversity until I got here. It makes it especially hard for my work, which is centered around the black experience. My peers often put my work down or dismiss it simply because it's about subject material they're not familiar with.

 

I'm nearing the end of my second year and I have felt so alone here. I've made a few friends, but it's still a very isolating experience. I have one professor who likes me work but is very ignorant. He's made blackface jokes to me and thinks he knows more than I do about what it means to be a person of color.

 

Now it has gotten to the point where I just can't deal with this professor's antics. He got upset because I wouldn't debate with him via email and decided to bar me from attending class because he didn't like a paper I wrote.

 

So now I'm having to have several different meetings with people in the university to resolve the matter so I can return to class. It's just turned into this huge ordeal that's taking up my life. I haven't had time to clean or cook or do my work. and I know this fight is worth it, to help future students he tries to bully, but I am so tired. I'm fighting just so I can stay at this university that I hate. I only have one more year left but it's been such an awful experience that I feel myself potentially slipping into another depression.

 

I intend to go to counseling on campus but they only offer 6 free sessions with our insurance plan. Idk if it will help, but I'm just mentally and emotionally spent. I wish I had never come here. idk if anyone's experiences anything similar, but I just had to vent.

[JstarTheCat]

It's been my experience that there is a lot of bullying going on at colleges. No matter what race or gender you are, you end up being a target. People all over are just plain mean. It's a natural human thing, and it's disgusting..

 

The solution? Get to a place where there's more diversity and some people you can get to know and be friends with. Life is better in community. Any time you have a dominant group of any sort, you get bullying.

 

While I can't relate to the experience of being a person of color, I CAN relate to the experience of feeling alone and wrung out. Be aware, counseling takes time, and you might not want to use insurance for it because there is a stigma attached, even these days. When I went through a rough patch, I chose to pay out of pocket but had to quit because of the cost. It sucks. I hope that you find the peace you so desperately need.

[Montgomery Burns]

I'm a black student at a predominately white university pursing a master's degree. The black student population here is lower than 2% (of 40,000) and it's located in one of the whitest areas in America.

 

I really didn't understand the lack of diversity until I got here. It makes it especially hard for my work, which is centered around the black experience. My peers often put my work down or dismiss it simply because it's about subject material they're not familiar with.

 

I'm nearing the end of my second year and I have felt so alone here. I've made a few friends, but it's still a very isolating experience. I have one professor who likes me work but is very ignorant. He's made blackface jokes to me and thinks he knows more than I do about what it means to be a person of color.

 

Now it has gotten to the point where I just can't deal with this professor's antics. He got upset because I wouldn't debate with him via email and decided to bar me from attending class because he didn't like a paper I wrote.

 

So now I'm having to have several different meetings with people in the university to resolve the matter so I can return to class. It's just turned into this huge ordeal that's taking up my life. I haven't had time to clean or cook or do my work. and I know this fight is worth it, to help future students he tries to bully, but I am so tired. I'm fighting just so I can stay at this university that I hate. I only have one more year left but it's been such an awful experience that I feel myself potentially slipping into another depression.

 

I intend to go to counseling on campus but they only offer 6 free sessions with our insurance plan. Idk if it will help, but I'm just mentally and emotionally spent. I wish I had never come here. idk if anyone's experiences anything similar, but I just had to vent.

 

 

Realistically, you have beat the odds. As a fellow minority( Black/Mexican/Native American ) I experienced the same. Unfortunately there is not a group to ask for insight.

 

I suggest finding a licensed therapist. Talking is a great way to understand everything.

 

Don't let the school or services confine you.

[blackcat777]

I just wanted to say I'm really sorry to hear you're having this experience.

 

Have you considered transferring? (I don't know much about this details of how it would work with credits, etc.) Is is possible for you to stick it out until you complete your degree? What are the costs vs. benefits of staying?

 

I lived in Toronto for a few years and it was THE most welcoming and multiculutural place I've ever been to on earth. I still miss it.

 

I had to move back home to a gun-totin' backwoods redneck part of the states... and people... appall me with their racism. Even my dad, who is otherwise very wise and educated, tells me, "That's just how it is!" like this nauseating racism is part of normal life.

 

I'm happy that I had the experience of something different, somewhere else. When my jaw hits the floor and I'm gobsmacked every time I hear something so stupid around me, I take solace in the fact that at least I know not ALL places on earth are so ignorant.

 

I hope you find an area like that. Not all cities are the same.

 

It's stressful for me, and I can't imagine how much more stressful being actively antagonized while pursuing higher education must be.