I moved to be with him and..

[roxanniez]

So my SO and I were in a LDR for about a year. About 6 weeks ago, I moved 150 miles to be with him, leaving all my friends and family behind. I only know him and his family/friends here. I'm a student nurse and have taken a year out for this move, I restart university here in my new town in September. So until this time, I'm working over the summer.

 

I know 6 weeks isn't long, but Im really unhappy here in my new home. I miss my friends a lot, I feel like a hermit always at home whilst my fella goes out and sees his friends. Its harder to make friends than I thought it would be, and I'm a bubbly cheerful person. I'm trying but I don't want to come across as needy to people!

 

Anyway, I feel like there might be something wrong with the relationship but I don't know whether I'm just unhappy here and looking for ways to go home so I'm resorting to that? Or if there is something wrong. My boyfriend has always been very independent, his friends are extremely important to him. He is also a biker so now the weather is improving he is out a lot on his bike.

 

Sorry, I'm rambling. My question to the big wide world is.. is it unreasonable for me to expect him to sacrifice a few things while I adjust to this new place? We both really wanted me to move (he has a young son from a previous relationship so it was agreed from the beginning he wouldn't be moving). I love him, I do. I'm just struggling being alone 85% of the time here. Am I being needy by thinking he shouldn't be making so many plans when he knows I don't have any friends? We get home from work about the same time and often he goes straight out and I'm left watching the tv for hours until he gets home, or on the phone to my friends to keep me company, and I'm feeling a touch resentful that he knows I'm lonely here but doesn't seem to care, or want to do anything about it.

 

So can someone please be totally honest and tell me wtf is going on or if I'm being a psycho crazy needy b***h.

 

Many thanks, peace out.

[Lois_Griffin]

My boyfriend has always been very independent, his friends are extremely important to him. He is also a biker so now the weather is improving he is out a lot on his bike.

So I guess he thinks your friends WEREN'T important to you?

 

...is it unreasonable for me to expect him to sacrifice a few things while I adjust to this new place?

It absolutely isn't asking too much that HE make a few sacrifices. You gave up everything and everyone you know and love - that's a huge sacrifice. He's incredibly selfish to continue living his life as though you didn't move your entire life to be with him. I'm NOT saying he can't have his friends or other things, but that doesn't mean he gets to act as though NOTHING has changed in his life. What a fool.

 

So can someone please be totally honest and tell me wtf is going on or if I'm being a psycho crazy needy b***h.

Seriously, what kind of selfish ass leaves his girlfriend - who JUST moved 150 miles to be with him - home alone every single night while he goes out and plays with his friends? I'm assuming he's in his mid-20's and completely clueless.

 

Go home. He's not ready for an adult relationship.

[justwhoiam]

I assume all his (male) friends are single? Otherwise he wouldn't leave you out of his circle any time he goes out with them...

 

Start making friends of your own. Pick something you like, be it yoga, pottery, decoupage, bowling, golf, poetry or some other activity in the neighborhood. And have guys picking you up with their cars down the driveway.

 

See what happens.

[TaraMaiden2]

Go home. He's not ready for an adult relationship.

 

^^This^^ is entirely sufficient.

I echo the sentiment.

[LittleTiger]

 

Go home. He's not ready for an adult relationship.

 

^^This^^ is entirely sufficient.

I echo the sentiment.

 

Ditto! ....