Advice Needed?

[emma16]

I have a question which may have a lot of different personal views to it. I have a friend who found out she is pregnant by someone she knows and has had a sexual intercourse with twice they are not dating they just "Hook UP" I guess you could say.

 

How does one go about telling the person and does she have to if she plans on having an abortion. I feel he should get to know and help with any decision or cost?

 

Any advice I can give to her?

[jen03]

even if they are just "hooking up" and not dating, i think the guy should know about the pregnancy. if they do decide to get an abortion, both should pay, because it is his responsibility for hooking up with her, too. it just so happens that females end up carrying the result of it.

 

abortion is a touchy subject, and it really is up to her to decide. it probably would involve weighing a lot of things.

 

just talking with her would help a lot. ask her about pros and cons of having the baby. does she have money to raise the baby? would her parents be supportive? she could have the baby, and then put it for adoption.

 

be really supportive of whatever she ends up choosing. sometimes friends are good not just for pushing advice, but for being supportive no matter what.

 

good luck to your friend

[wildanduntamed]

Personally I feel that if they were willing to take such risky behaviour, then they BOTH should deal with the consequences. After all, it takes two to tango. Your friend and this guy may not have had intentions of actually getting together long term, however, sexual activity, namely intercourse is something that should not be taken lightly. Now that they find themsleves at this point, I think it should be on her to tell him , adult to adult, and discuss the matter to it's fullest. By telling the guy, it does many things, it helps them to figure out the financial picture, and related costs, but (and I know this sounds harsh, but please bear with me) it also should nail home to both of them the importance of keeping their pants on in the future. It would also be fair to tell him, even if she decided on abortion, since he is the father. She should put herself in his shoes for a minute and think of how she'd feel down the road if it slipped and she had not known about it. All to often I hear of folks "hooking up" and it bugs the hell out of me. Why can't everyone see that it is not the smartest thing to be doing. Kissing and stuff is one thing, however, sex is quite another. It takes a toll on one's physical, emotional, and mental self. Worries and risks seem of non issue until the inevitable happens, then they are at odds with themselves. I understand that people have "needs" as such, but for Pete's sakes, if it's that bad, go get a vibrator or something! Anyway, if your friend tells the guy, then it would be one less thing on her mind, and he might even be willing to tell her parents with her, however, if she feels that she can't tell them, I'd have to take a serious look at the level of maturity going on here.

Hope all works out for her.