Having a hard time

[Noluck]

I am having a hard time letting go of a relationship. I am on the tail end of a relationship that I put a lot of effort into and sacrificed for. I gave up many aspects of my life. I made sacrifices to my career that I spent 10yrs building prior to her. There was no affection, there was no intimacy, there was no effort on her part.

 

But there was effort when she talked about her past relationships. There was affection when she talked about her exes. I spent so much effort to get some of her time never understanding how she could treat me so differently when I gave her so much. She showed more affection towards the dog I got her than I ever got. How pitiful is it to be jealous of a dog? The dog got more hugs and walks then I ever got.

 

She never put into the relationship while I over compensated by putting in too much. She never made efforts towards my family. She made excuses to not see my friends. I never felt so lonely in a relationship before. I regret so much of my actions. I know that if I didn't give so much and try so hard it wouldn't still hurt and bother me. I don't know how to stop obsessing over it. I wanted a family. I am approaching 40 and I never though I would be without my own family at this point in my life. Now I have nothing and it hurts. I don't feel like I have the support network to help me. I try to keep busy. I've gone to therapy. I still have so many questions I don't have the answers to.

[Rachel39]

Hi, how long was your relationship and did you live together.

 

I know how hard it is, how lonely it feels

[sorano]

I got the same treatment as well my friend. I know the feeling. I also have no answers to some of my questions. I wish I can tell my ex and go over with her what she said, how she acted and how its not ok. Again, I know the pain you are going through

[Noluck]

Hi, how long was your relationship and did you live together.

 

I know how hard it is, how lonely it feels

 

5 years, we did live together for 3 of those years.

I feel if I didn't jump so hard in with so much of myself it wouldn't have felt so bad and I wouldn't obsess so much.

[AT15]

40 is not too old to have a family. I met my ex husband when he was 39 and I was 21. I fell for him fast. We dated 8 years. Married then had 1 child when I turned 31. He was 49. Age is just a number. I was a young model when we met and he was a doorman at a night club. We just clicked. We have separated, but he was a great guy.

[Broken_Hearted1]

Hello,

 

I am sorry for how you are feeling. I am only 22 and perhaps my words wont matter much but I want to say you and I are pretty much the same. You have summed up everything in my relations. I am the guy who doesn't mind going the extra mile for my love and what do I get in return? Nothing! Maybe a ' I love you ' text once in a while.

 

You seem like the romantic type of guy who would like his girl to be more expressive and show that she loves you occasionally if not all the time. Yeah I am the same. It used to bug me all the time how my friends used to get so cozy with their partners while my girl would be sitting across me and not even care to talk with me. For her it was just normal. To not hug, to not kiss, to not show affections. Apparently texting was everything to her. I was probably dating a heartless, emotionless machine. Somehow i seem to attract them or I start expecting too much from them which is why i end up depressed.

 

I just want you to know its not the end of the world and you will get through. You just have to put yourself out in the open and don't become a machine like them. Be open to receiving and giving love, from everyone.

[Noluck]

Thank you for the comments. It's a combination of things. My life is just so far from where I imagined it would be right now regardless of the amount of effort I put into it. I don't feel I have the right support systems in place.