traveler_n Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 After 7 months, I got that call last night that I was hoping for when we had first broken up. He called me crying saying he made a mistake by letting me go and that he just broke up with his current girlfriend (he supposedly ended things). He said that he really realized that I was there for him. He said the reason he ended things with me was because he wasn't sure if he wanted to spend his life with me because it's a huge commitment and he had questioned his love for me. When we broke up it was so hard on me. It took me months to get over and I lost 10 pounds. He said he wants to try again. I asked him why he would want to try again if he wasn't sure if he loved me previously. I told him that I really moved on with my life in that area but we could be friends. He actually wants to hang out today. Should I even hang out with him? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 I wouldn't. Don't be a second best rebound. Really. Don't. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
RocketQueen Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 I'd be VERY cautious if you do decide to meet him. I am lucky in as much as I haven't had my heart broken that much but with that comes naivety and I am now working through my second heartbreak from the same man! I think his timing in contacting you is actually an insult- when he's just broke up with his last girlfriend. I would suggest, if you are even going to entertain him at all for him to work on himself and give himself some time alone and to not contact you..see how that works out. Good Luck. Don't let all your hard work and progress go to waste on someone who is emotional and selfish enough to reach out to you when THEY need someone to massage their ego. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 After 7 months, I got that call last night that I was hoping for when we had first broken up. He called me crying saying he made a mistake by letting me go and that he just broke up with his current girlfriend (he supposedly ended things). He said that he really realized that I was there for him. He said the reason he ended things with me was because he wasn't sure if he wanted to spend his life with me because it's a huge commitment and he had questioned his love for me. When we broke up it was so hard on me. It took me months to get over and I lost 10 pounds. He said he wants to try again. I asked him why he would want to try again if he wasn't sure if he loved me previously. I told him that I really moved on with my life in that area but we could be friends. He actually wants to hang out today. Should I even hang out with him? It sounds as though the ONLY positive thing you got from being with this guy was the loss of 10 pounds. Otherwise, he serves no purpose. PS: It's called a 'break up' because it's broken. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 The thing is, it's doubtful that you'd ever regain your trust in him because he left you once. You'll always be cautious with him, and leaving someone creates an unspoken leverage if you try to get back together. Whatever dynamics there were previously in the relationship, he's apparently forgotten them but is likely to remember if you get back together. You have to ask yourself if it's worth risking going through that kind of heartbreak again. And, btw, he doesn't want to see you today because he's agreeing to just be friends. He wants to convince you to get back with him. He knows that you spending time with him will cause you to re-think your decision. I once dated a guy and we truly had a magical connection. But after the break-up and then trying to get back together, I was shocked to find that the magic was gone. We never got it back. Break-ups create a disconnect that's very hard to undo, especially months down the road. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 The main issue I see is that you've been waiting for a phone call from an ex in a relationship with someone else for 7 months. You might as well go - this might be a lesson better learnt the hard way. FWIW, in your place OP, I would politely thank him for getting back in touch, wish him well in healing from his fresh break-up and advise him to enjoy some single guy time; and then leave him to it for good. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted April 23, 2016 Share Posted April 23, 2016 He has a wandering eye and would bail out again if someone took his fancy. It's in his nature. There are so many better men out there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author traveler_n Posted April 23, 2016 Author Share Posted April 23, 2016 I agree, thanks! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank13 Posted April 27, 2016 Share Posted April 27, 2016 After 7 months, I got that call last night that I was hoping for when we had first broken up. He called me crying saying he made a mistake by letting me go and that he just broke up with his current girlfriend (he supposedly ended things). The bolded part is the only reason he called and you should be insulted by it. It would be different if he wasn't seeing anyone, but he is only calling because he is suddenly single, lonely, guilty, and figures you are familiar territory who will take him back. You area rebound and he will leave again in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Phonebooth Posted May 11, 2016 Share Posted May 11, 2016 What did you decide to do? I think you should meet him so long as you are healed and if it turns out to be nonsense or insincere it won't set you back you can walk away thinking whatevs. If he did break up with his gf because he realised all along that it is you and only you he wants then that is valid. But you need to do your due diligence as other posters have said he could just be lonely and sad and it hitting up his phone book for guaranteed comfort / ego boost. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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