"Forget dating sites, try Facebook"

[LookAtThisPOst]

I removed him as a friend and deleted his comment.

 

You removed him as a friend? This suggests that he's been your friend on FB for the entire time, not someone that wasn't a friend that tried to introduce himself, yes? This was someone you already knew?

[bathtub-row]

You removed him as a friend? This suggests that he's been your friend on FB for the entire time, not someone that wasn't a friend that tried to introduce himself, yes? This was someone you already knew?

 

I guess you didn't read the part where I said that because of the profession I'm in, my fb account is really a business account and I accept a lot of invites from people I don't know. I screen them somewhat but I really don't know a lot of them. So, yeah, I de-friended someone who wasn't really a friend. It was a guy who wanted to hit on me and did it in the wrong way. A private message would've been more appropriate instead of some suggestive comment on my picture from a stranger.

Edited April 24, 2016 by bathtub-row

[LookAtThisPOst]

I guess you didn't read the part where I said that because of the profession I'm in, my fb account is really a business account and I accept a lot of invites from people I don't know. I screen them somewhat but I really don't know a lot of them. So, yeah, I de-friended someone who wasn't really a friend. It was a guy who wanted to hit on me and did it in the wrong way. A private message would've been more appropriate instead of some suggestive comment on my picture.

 

Oh okay. I was wondering if some of my messages even go through, as I never see that little "check" mark appears, making it appear as if it's been read.

[GemmaUK]

You removed him as a friend? This suggests that he's been your friend on FB for the entire time, not someone that wasn't a friend that tried to introduce himself, yes? This was someone you already knew?

 

Sounds like it and she deleted him for an inappropriate comment - fair enough. I would have done the same.

 

OP yes, you could try this but at the same time you have to remember FB is not a dating site so you don't go sending mails to six women on your friend's friend lists.

[xxoo]

A private message would've been more appropriate instead of some suggestive comment on my picture from a stranger.

 

Just like with meeting people IRL, the approach and interaction matter...a lot! That approach is going to turn off 99% of women, even women who might be open to meeting someone on FB.

 

OP, there is no magical medium that guarantees success. There are many opportunities to impress whether on FB, on OLD, or just at Starbucks in your home town! But the catch is, the guy still needs to impress.

[bathtub-row]

Sounds like it and she deleted him for an inappropriate comment - fair enough. I would have done the same.

 

OP yes, you could try this but at the same time you have to remember FB is not a dating site so you don't go sending mails to six women on your friend's friend lists.

 

As I have stated twice already (lol), I don't know the guy. He's basically a stranger. Now he's a de-friended stranger.

[bathtub-row]

Just like with meeting people IRL, the approach and interaction matter...a lot! That approach is going to turn off 99% of women, even women who might be open to meeting someone on FB.

 

OP, there is no magical medium that guarantees success. There are many opportunities to impress whether on FB, on OLD, or just at Starbucks in your home town! But the catch is, the guy still needs to impress.

 

I can see where it would be a pretty good place to meet someone if it's not used as a place to hit on women in general, all the time. Women know when men do this and it's probably not very effective. But I think some guys use the shotgun method where, if you shoot at enough things, you're bound to hit something.

 

The guy on my fb didn't necessarily need to impress me but he showed a lot about his character by what he did. That's all I need to know. I'm not even interested in dating anyone so I almost never respond anyway. With the other guy that I did respond to, I'm regretting it now.

[GemmaUK]

As I have stated twice already (lol), I don't know the guy. He's basically a stranger. Now he's a de-friended stranger.

 

Yeah, I read your initial post about it, hence why I backed up your decision when I posted in reply to the OP.

[xxoo]

I can see where it would be a pretty good place to meet someone if it's not used as a place to hit on women in general, all the time. Women know when men do this and it's probably not very effective. But I think some guys use the shotgun method where, if you shoot at enough things, you're bound to hit something.

 

The guy on my fb didn't necessarily need to impress me but he showed a lot about his character by what he did. That's all I need to know. I'm not even interested in dating anyone so I almost never respond anyway. With the other guy that I did respond to, I'm regretting it now.

 

It's never good to openly hit on many woman, whether IRL or on FB. That's part of making a good impression.

 

OP, think of it like you're a guest in your friend's home, meeting their friends. You wouldn't just start hitting on women, right? Treat your friends' FB pages and FB friends with the same respect.

[LookAtThisPOst]

It's never good to openly hit on many woman, whether IRL or on FB. That's part of making a good impression.

 

OP, think of it like you're a guest in your friend's home, meeting their friends. You wouldn't just start hitting on women, right? Treat your friends' FB pages and FB friends with the same respect.

 

Exactly, you kind of have to ween yourself into it with an introduction. Usually I make reference to how we know the same friend and how we've come to know them. I'd wait a few more additional social functions at said home, first. A 'getting to know you process", not "Hitting" on them (whatever that means these days).

 

Though one of my female friends I know in real life, has a couple of female friends on Facebook that I also recognized on Online dating sites, I was a bit iffy in contacting them as I was still on the fence about them being put off by it.

 

 

I asked her about her friends, and she says she barely knows them...they were just high school friends going around adding people they knew from high school in the area. So she doesn't hang out no talk to them.

 

Kind of proves why people have 100s of friends on FB, but barely knows any of them.

 

She did mention getting social gathering together with her single friends, like out bowling or something which would be opportunity to meet them.

[xxoo]

Exactly, you kind of have to ween yourself into it with an introduction. Usually I make reference to how we know the same friend and how we've come to know them. I'd wait a few more additional social functions at said home, first. A 'getting to know you process", not "Hitting" on them (whatever that means these days).

 

Actually, I'd do it differently.

 

At both a home and on FB, I'd join a conversation rather than approaching someone who is alone. When people are bantering and making fun comments about a post on your friend's FB, join in Make sure your comments are smart and classy. This is where impressions come in, as well as the look of your FB page overall. If it's loaded with reposts and "likes" of tacky things, that will make a bad impression.

 

So you join the conversation. A woman who is interested will talk to you. She will "like" your comments, reply, basically engage with you. From there, you can send her a private message, using how you met the mutual friend as a conversation starter. Again, if she's interested, she will engage with you, reply and keeping the convo going. And from there, you can suggest meeting up for a date Easy-peasy!

[LookAtThisPOst]

Actually, I'd do it differently.

 

At both a home and on FB, I'd join a conversation rather than approaching someone who is alone. When people are bantering and making fun comments about a post on your friend's FB, join in Make sure your comments are smart and classy. This is where impressions come in, as well as the look of your FB page overall. If it's loaded with reposts and "likes" of tacky things, that will make a bad impression.

 

So you join the conversation. A woman who is interested will talk to you. She will "like" your comments, reply, basically engage with you. From there, you can send her a private message, using how you met the mutual friend as a conversation starter. Again, if she's interested, she will engage with you, reply and keeping the convo going. And from there, you can suggest meeting up for a date Easy-peasy!

 

I know what you're getting at, but in this particular case, there is no banter, so there's no opportunity to do this. In fact, the woman only knows OF her female friends, but doesn't interact with them.

 

So, on Facebook, there is no conversation to join. Though, I would see some posts that were TMI in some occasions. I saw one this morning, a woman said she took her smart phone to the bathroom, dropped it, and said, "Good thing I have no thigh gap! lol"

 

And I'm thinkin', "ooookaaaay...TMI!" So I didn't even comment. lol Of course, she's married and kind of an attention seeker. But I'm going off track here.

 

Also, what's "tacky" to some, (purely subjective) may be appealing to others *shrug*, although I have nothing perverse on my page, it is mostly a display of my outdoor activities or whatever I'm doing socially among friends. Pics of events I've been to, and so on.

[xxoo]

I know what you're getting at, but in this particular case, there is no banter, so there's no opportunity to do this. In fact, the woman only knows OF her female friends, but doesn't interact with them.

 

So, on Facebook, there is no conversation to join. Though, I would see some posts that were TMI in some occasions. I saw one this morning, a woman said she took her smart phone to the bathroom, dropped it, and said, "Good thing I have no thigh gap! lol"

 

And I'm thinkin', "ooookaaaay...TMI!" So I didn't even comment. lol Of course, she's married and kind of an attention seeker. But I'm going off track here.

 

Also, what's "tacky" to some, (purely subjective) may be appealing to others *shrug*, although I have nothing perverse on my page, it is mostly a display of my outdoor activities or whatever I'm doing socially among friends. Pics of events I've been to, and so on.

 

Yeah, I'd say it's way off track to be commenting on the married women on FB if you're interesting in dating

 

Focus on times when there is conversation to join. Your chances will be much higher, as these people are being social.

Edited April 24, 2016 by xxoo

[Imajerk17]

That is an awesome story @MidwestUSA. Serendipity brought the two of you together....

 

Anyway OP it helps if (as xxoo and others said) you can get into a conversation on FB and you and the woman hit it off there first before you start getting to know each other. That is how Midwest and her H connected it sounds like. It helps just as much if (a) your mutual friend thinks highly of you, and (b) from your FB profile you come across as a cool interesting guy. Think of FB as being an electronic version of Real Life, if that makes any sense...if someone is struggling w attraction/connection in real life (or even I suspect on Match or OKC) I don't think FB will be this magic bullet that will save them. It's really just another way people can be brought together.

 

 

No, it wasn't that exciting. It wasn't even near a holiday, February 20th to be exact. Now that may be a holiday somewhere, but, I digress. Many of the newbies here have wanted to hear it, and I've felt it my 'duty' to tell. It's somewhat embarrassing, really.

 

I noticed that I was participating, on Facebook, in a discussion about Roger Hodgson's 'Fool's Overture'. Quite the masterpiece, really. You should find it on YouTube, if you're not familiar. But, I digress. Again.

 

Anywho, this other dude was quite passionate about the music as well. As you might guess, that dude is now H. The only other things we have in common are liking our steaks rare, and preferring bleu cheese dressing. Pretty romantic, isn't it?

 

 

Oh, almost forgot. When I found out that he had only had two wisdom teeth come in (the top), I knew. You see, I had only my bottoms come in. We're two half wits, thrown together by fate. Thanks, Roger!

Edited April 24, 2016 by Imajerk17

[Mrlonelyone]

I'm going to be negative nancy on this here and say right now DO NOT HIT ON PEOPLE VIA FACEBOOK. Maybe a few years ago that would've worked but now messages from people on on the friends list get routed to an "other" box and ignored.

[MidwestUSA]

I'm going to be negative nancy on this here and say right now DO NOT HIT ON PEOPLE VIA FACEBOOK Maybe a few years ago that would've worked but now messages from people on on the friends list get routed to an "other" box and ignored.

 

 

Kamille's sister and I disagree.

 

The idea isn't to message someone out of the blue who isn't a friend. It's about getting involved in a conversation, and perhaps finding common ground with someone. All it took for me and H was a common love of music and the opinion that Supertramp is underrated.

 

Only then might you make a 'friend', and move to messaging.

 

Negative attitudes yield negative results.