Loganlope123 Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 Hello everyone, I don't usually go on here to talk about my life. However, I really would like some people's opinions on a topic that has been bothering me lately. So I've been dating a girl for about 8 months now and I love her and she loves me. I'm no very jealous so if she hangout with other people I don't mind. I only have 1 rule really, and it's no dancing with guys (cause I know guys don't dance for fun, they dance to get with a girl and etc.). However, this weekend my girlfriend went to coachella without me. She invited me to go, but I declined, I honestly couldn't afford it and was just not very interested in it. So I told her to go with her friends and not worry:). However, after she left I began to feel a little weird. People kept telling me, "you let your girl go to coachella, without you? That's crazy! Why would you let her?". So over the weekend this would begin to eat away at me and make me paranoid. I know that she wouldn't cheat on me on purpose, but I know she can get a little frisky when she gets drunk and that's what most people do at these festivals. So I'm worried that she might make or have made some sort of mistake by "maybe" cheating on me and not telling me. I know it sounds insane, but these music festivals are pretty crazy. If this was just a party or a bar I would feel better. But this is a festival in some far away place with a bunch of people under the influence of drugs and alcohol. I'm just worried and now I'm questioning whether I'm a good boyfriend for getting so worked up over this because I know she is a good girl. But everyone keeps telling me about these festivals and now I'm worried. I just hate this feeling... Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 If she wants to cheat on you, she doesn't need to go to a music festival to do so. Do you trust her? Stop listening to 'people'. If she's a 'good girl', and does screw up, she'll probably give herself away by her actions when she gets back. Sit back and chill, nothing you can do about it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 Hello everyone, I don't usually go on here to talk about my life. However, I really would like some people's opinions on a topic that has been bothering me lately. So I've been dating a girl for about 8 months now and I love her and she loves me. I'm no very jealous so if she hangout with other people I don't mind. I only have 1 rule really, and it's no dancing with guys (cause I know guys don't dance for fun, they dance to get with a girl and etc.). However, this weekend my girlfriend went to coachella without me. She invited me to go, but I declined, I honestly couldn't afford it and was just not very interested in it. So I told her to go with her friends and not worry:). However, after she left I began to feel a little weird. People kept telling me, "you let your girl go to coachella, without you? That's crazy! Why would you let her?". So over the weekend this would begin to eat away at me and make me paranoid. I know that she wouldn't cheat on me on purpose, but I know she can get a little frisky when she gets drunk and that's what most people do at these festivals. So I'm worried that she might make or have made some sort of mistake by "maybe" cheating on me and not telling me. I know it sounds insane, but these music festivals are pretty crazy. If this was just a party or a bar I would feel better. But this is a festival in some far away place with a bunch of people under the influence of drugs and alcohol. I'm just worried and now I'm questioning whether I'm a good boyfriend for getting so worked up over this because I know she is a good girl. But everyone keeps telling me about these festivals and now I'm worried. I just hate this feeling... This screams "I have low self-esteem, I am insecure, and can't understand how she can really love me, so I don't trust her truth, I trust my own insecure feelings...." How about accurate is that? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 If she wants to cheat on you, she doesn't need to go to a music festival to do so. Do you trust her? Exactly, she can cheat on you at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, stone cold sober IF she wants to. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 About your rule "not dancing with guys". Is she OK with it? did she try to argue? does she feel you are too controlling? were you forced to make this rule because she was dancing with other guys while dating you? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 24, 2016 Share Posted April 24, 2016 Anyone would have at least a small pang of uncertainty when their so goes away to a place where there will be plenty of opportunity/lack of inhibitions. You are not looking for a solution, you are just working through your insecurities, which is fine, I'm not going to bash you for it. You are just going to have to accept that in life there will be things you will have no control over and this is one of them. Keep busy, stop focusing on what she might be doing, and fill your heart with love for her......be happy, be at peace. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 I've never been to Coachella but I have been to other music festivals and ....I'm sorry but they're bscly 'sex festivals' in a very real sense, at least to ppl who want that. Which is bscly everybody when they're high or drunk and away from their typical responsibilities. (I'm assuming Coachella is a mult-day festival where you kinda just live there for a few days, day and night?) Not sure what else to tell you, sorry. If she's a "good girl," fine, but I know a lot of those who aren't actually so good in the right circumstances either. I wish I could be more encouraging, but like smackie said I guess this is one of those things that just is what it is and there's not much you can do about it, esp after the fact. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 Hello everyone, I don't usually go on here to talk about my life. However, I really would like some people's opinions on a topic that has been bothering me lately. So I've been dating a girl for about 8 months now and I love her and she loves me. I'm no very jealous so if she hangout with other people I don't mind. I only have 1 rule really, and it's no dancing with guys (cause I know guys don't dance for fun, they dance to get with a girl and etc.). However, this weekend my girlfriend went to coachella without me. She invited me to go, but I declined, I honestly couldn't afford it and was just not very interested in it. So I told her to go with her friends and not worry:). However, after she left I began to feel a little weird. People kept telling me, "you let your girl go to coachella, without you? That's crazy! Why would you let her?". So over the weekend this would begin to eat away at me and make me paranoid. I know that she wouldn't cheat on me on purpose, but I know she can get a little frisky when she gets drunk and that's what most people do at these festivals. So I'm worried that she might make or have made some sort of mistake by "maybe" cheating on me and not telling me. I know it sounds insane, but these music festivals are pretty crazy. If this was just a party or a bar I would feel better. But this is a festival in some far away place with a bunch of people under the influence of drugs and alcohol. I'm just worried and now I'm questioning whether I'm a good boyfriend for getting so worked up over this because I know she is a good girl. But everyone keeps telling me about these festivals and now I'm worried. I just hate this feeling... Coachella? That festival is pretty tame. Just be happy she didn't want to go to Ozzfest without you...she'd still be there. lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 25, 2016 Share Posted April 25, 2016 OP, has she ever given you any reason not to trust her in the past? Link to post Share on other sites
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